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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be soooo angry that dp has just failed his 2nd exam?

30 replies

lauraloola · 16/10/2008 12:05

I am so mad. Dp is training with a bank to become a Financial Advisor and took his 2nd exams today.

He passed one part and failed one part - Exactly the same as his first exam. By one mark.

He is now going to have to pay for to retake both parts and its going to put him back a few more months before he can qualify.

I am so angry with him. Maybe if he hadnt have stayed up until late on his computer game he would have been alright.

Am I being unreasonable? Last time I was really nice to him about failing but this time I just want to shout at him.

OP posts:
popsycal · 16/10/2008 12:07
Hmm
VictorianSqualorSquelchNSquirm · 16/10/2008 12:09

Angry?
Niiiiiiiiiiiiice.

LadyOfWaffleIsScaryEnough · 16/10/2008 12:09

He is probably feeling quite down right now, I know I would be. Yes he shouldn't have played his comp. games and studied instead but I am sure he knows that. Maybe help him study abit? But YABtotallyU, if it means that much go and take the exams yourself.

NatalieJaneIsPregnantAgain · 16/10/2008 12:10

Surely you are not for real?

mazzystartled · 16/10/2008 12:10

maybe its not the right career for him if a. he can't be bothered to study; and b. he keeps failing the exams

Original poster
lauraloola · 16/10/2008 12:11

I am for real! Maybe its PMT setting in this month but I just cant believe he did the same as last time.

I will try to be nice.

OP posts:
NatalieJaneIsPregnantAgain · 16/10/2008 12:11

There is nothing to say he should have studied, I know myself that if I studied every single moment leading up to an exam I'd fail miserably.

Everyone deserves to relax, even trainee FA's.

soultaken · 16/10/2008 12:32

Do you think he failed on purpose?

mayorquimby · 16/10/2008 13:19

maybe if you give us a detailed run down of your scholastic achievments and qualifications then we could gauge wether your xpectations are reasonable.
and blaming it on PMT ffs, it's the most feeble excuse around and just plays up to a stereotype and trys to justify your clearly unreasonable behaviour.

batters · 16/10/2008 13:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

nooka · 16/10/2008 13:29

He must be feeling very frustrated, and I can see why you are peeved. But you have to remember that professional exams are VERY hard (huge amount of rote learning), and most people fail them several times. So support still in order, I think.

nuclear · 16/10/2008 13:30

hold on a minute ladies....

the OP has a point ... I have just finished an OU degree that I have studied for thoughout my marriage and it cost a considerable amount of money that meant that sometimes DH and I had to make sacrifices for to fund ... I was painfully aware of this and put myself under alot of pressure to pass and complete the courses asap so as not to put any more financial strain on us than was necessary.

however

Laura - you are probably angry at the situation and feel frustrated but you are aiming your anger at him. He will be very aware of the money etc and is no doubt kicking himself for staying up late.

Best to try and be understanding though for his sake.

Original poster
lauraloola · 16/10/2008 13:34

Thanks Nuclear. I am going to be nice to him and just hope that next time he passes. It just annoys me that he knew it was important yet makes himself tired by staying up late.

I think my rant on here has made me feel better x

OP posts:
nuclear · 16/10/2008 13:37

no worries

elkiedee · 16/10/2008 13:43

One mark is very close. Maybe he stayed up late (computer game or whatever) because he was anxious about exam. Especially if he had an idea he might fail.

I can understand why you're cross with him, YANBU, but he's probably cross with himself too.

SummatAnNowt · 16/10/2008 14:17

An OU pass is over 40%, professional training usually requires much higher marks. My husband has failed an exam in his field twice by a very close margin, it requires 85% to pass.

I commiserated with mine because I'm also his friend, I did not berate him as if I was his mum. He failed because he stayed up late ffs?!?! Are you sure it's because he didn't have all his omega 6 or his greens!?

TigerFeet · 16/10/2008 14:24

I have some sympathy with the OP tbh. Isn't it nice to be able to keep things like this off your chest here?

My dh is currently studying (and I use the term loosely) for a professional qualification - one that increases his chances of promotion or a better job and will look fantastic on his CV. He constantly complains that he is underpaid and undervalued by the company and this qualification could very well change that.

He goes on and on about how stressful it is and how glad it'll be when it's all over - but the truth is that he isn't working for it anywhere like as much as he could.

I would imagine that he will be very cross with himself if he fails and is very likely to be a nightmare to live with for a while. He won't need me to point out that he had plenty of opportunities ot work for it and chose not to - I will, however, think it (very privately, to myself and possibly MN).

nuclear · 16/10/2008 14:33

errrmmmm

not really sure I know where you are coming from summatannowt, I was making the point that I understand how both parties would be feeling.

and fwiw I studied very hard for the benefit of mine and my family's future and passed my final exam with a very high mark.

I do not think it is fair for you to belittle someone's hard work and qualifications in that way.

NannyNanny · 16/10/2008 16:28

I would be so pissed off with my DP is he didn't bother to revise or work hard for something. My DP did this last year and failed one of his university exams, he then expected sympathy. I said I am SORRY that he is under the impression that he thinks he can pass an exam without working hard for it.

TheHedgeWitch · 16/10/2008 16:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

forevercleaning · 16/10/2008 16:40

angry at him ?????

Did you take the exam or him?

I hope you don't ever fail anything.

nooOOOoonki · 16/10/2008 16:45

I would have been angry on the night before for not going to bed

but now I would feel sorry for him

LIZS · 16/10/2008 16:46

maybe he isn't cut out for it , especially in present ecomonic climate. How many more stages does he still have to do ?

mumeeee · 17/10/2008 00:21

YABU. Why are you angry with him? He only failed by one mark and is probably upset himself.

KiwiKat · 17/10/2008 00:38

Give her a break, you guys. She's letting off steam because she's disappointed for them both, because this now means more studying and more money spent, and maybe he didn't spend as much time studying as he really should have. But isn't it better that she has a wee rant to us than to bitch at him when he's feeling low? OP, you're not being unreasonable to feel this way, but I'd strongly suggest you don't act on it. He'll know he's stuffed up, and hopefully he'll have got the message that he needs to do something a bit differently this time if he wants to pass.

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