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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to tell people the reason I'm having a caesarean is so I don't ruin my vagina???

48 replies

Twelvelegs · 12/10/2008 20:03

I'm having my 4th c-section in three weeks and am pissed off that everyone asks why in that why? way. As if I fear the shape of my vagina or can't be arsed to push. The truth is baby one, stuck and my body not stretching...18 hour labour, emcs... baby 2 12 hour labour then baby in distress, emcs (with GA) and baby blue and ressassitated (s?), baby 3, elective c-section and baby four elective c-section.
People respond as if major surgery is the easy option, can they not imagine the pain and discomfort caused by this procedure???
I feel like saying I'll elective c-section for my bits and bottle feed for my tits.... now bugger off!!!!

disclaimer... I will be breastfeeding!!!

OP posts:
HeadFairy · 12/10/2008 20:06

I clearly remember rasping to my sister when I was wheeled back to the maternity ward after my cs for ds "don't ever let anyone tell you this is the easy option". I think I may have shouted and cursed this again a bit later when they made me get up and stand on my feet for a few mins.

Tell 'em all to piss up a flagpole. You could always go in to long details of your mummy tuck afterwards too

LynetteScavo · 12/10/2008 20:07

emcs ith G&A?

MaloryDontDiveItsShallow · 12/10/2008 20:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BouncingTurtleSkulls · 12/10/2008 20:09

Just tell them to feck off and mind their own business!

MaloryDontDiveItsShallow · 12/10/2008 20:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ElfOnTheTopShelf · 12/10/2008 20:09

I hate the negativity there is about sections, as if the people having them haven't weighed up all the options and risks in any delivery scenario
I got the same "hmmmm, you know its dangerous though, dont you" speech when I chose to have a section, and I felt like yelling at people and quoting statistics etc, but my blood pressure was too high to be bothered at that point.

Pinkyminkee · 12/10/2008 20:17

Twelvelegs Much sympathy, I've had the whole gamut of cs cliches too.

TBH lots of my friends have asked me why on earth I'm going for a VBA2C since I'm still in 'honeymoon condition' .
Seems every decsion we make has a contrary view.

I think that people who have not had c-sections don't really understand what is involved, or how difficult it is to have this kind of decision to make.

Good luck. I'm due around the same time as you, BTW

LynetteScavo · 12/10/2008 20:20

oh! phew!

If anyone asks why, just say "what do you mean, why?"

YANBU to tell people to get lost!

Ronaldinhio · 12/10/2008 20:23

I hate all this competitive birthing and judgemental madness...I was so nattural birth brainwashed that after the ecs of my dd1 I felt a complete failure for ages.
Tell them you fanjo is your fortune after all and it's back to the movie business soon so needs must and a c/s it is!!

nobodysghoul · 12/10/2008 20:24

Tell them to piss off and mind their own.
Only somebody who has had an 'easy' labour and birth will make such a dumb arse comment.Bet your bottom dollar that they have never had a c-section, emergency or elective.
ok.Breathe.must keep calm.

ElfOnTheTopShelf · 12/10/2008 20:25

You could say its because you have a Playboy shot coming up & you want to be in tip top condition.

ElfOnTheTopShelf · 12/10/2008 20:27

(Interestingly, it was usually people who had not got any children or who were newly pregnant who made comments about me having a section!)

Twiglett · 12/10/2008 20:28

I loved my Elective C-Sections.. I tell people I'm too posh to push and laugh heartily. I sometimes do mention my pristine fanny too .. the real reason is nobody's business (although involves risk of going blind so feck 'em)

jimjamshaslefttheyurt · 12/10/2008 20:29

My MIL tried to tell me I was having the easy option with ds3 (section, although I ended up with a trial of VBA2C- it did go to section again though). As I was still having panic attacks after my section with ds2 I almost hit her.

cory · 12/10/2008 20:29

Either what elf said or just very sweetly: 'oh I think it would be nice if this baby didn't have to be resuscitated. Just for a change, you know'.

traceybath · 12/10/2008 20:29

I know - after my first c-section after a very long labour (waters broke on sunday - baby arrived on friday) and 2 hours of pushing. One friend commented 'oh we knew you'd be too posh to push' - ha ha - how i laughed.

So with number 2 when i had an elective if anyone queried why i was just very flip - you know i tried natural once and didn't like it etc etc.

To be honest its no one else's business. I do believe i may have mentioned staying 'honeymoon fresh' to one abnoxious person too

snickersnack · 12/10/2008 20:30

Only someone who's never had a section could think it was the easy option. Possibly (speaking from the perspective of having had both) slightly less hideous during the event (though I'm sure lots of people would disagree) but a hundred times worse afterwards. The horror and misery of the few weeks afterwards were what made me determined to have a VBAC.

Tell them to piss off. None of their business.

ElfOnTheTopShelf · 12/10/2008 20:31

I'm not looking forward to when I do have another as I expect everybody to be questioning whether I'll "try for a natural birth" as if they dont understand the reasons why I had a section for my first child!

DforDiva · 12/10/2008 20:48

ok. i saw title thought, OF thanks very much.
if i can turn time, i would have had 2 cs. i had two natural birth with no drugs and injections, felt proud of myself[where as brick wall] not mentioning dd was breech ds was over due etc..
i now know what you mean. but i left with so many complictaion that i got to go thru more surgery that csection.
so tell them mind their own business

wehaveallbeenthere · 12/10/2008 20:53

Twelvelegs, you are NOT BU. Let's face it....there isn't anything easy about having babies. At the least amount of physical strain and stress you are still carrying another person around inside you, squeezing and contorting your insides like a cement mixer. You are expected to gain weight, your back, sides and whatever else (usually the most tender and painfully sensitive areas of a womans body) are stretched and torn. You endure it for 9 months and everyone expects you to be cheerful and if your hormones let you, in anticipation you are. After that you are either pushing them out through those same sensitive areas or being sliced open like a Thanksgiving turkey.
Hats off to all that take on that role of trying to birth a child...I don't care how much surgery you have afterward...whether it be necessary or just asthetic your body never is the same. It's an leap of faith and no matter how much thanks you get you deserve so much more.

Reallytired · 12/10/2008 21:17

The main thing is that you and your baby are safe and healthy. You need to be confident in your decision and I am sure its the right decision for you.

I would not choose a ECS, but then I had an uncomplicated labour last time. Your situation is different to mine and its unfair to compare.

All mothers should feel proud of themselves however their babies come into the world. Once the baby is born no one really cares how the baby was born.

cory · 12/10/2008 21:17

I actually found the aftermath of the caesarian far easier to cope with than the aftermath of my vaginal delivery (still in pain a year later from that one, I kid you not!). But it was never about that! My son is alive, which he might well not have been if I had not had that caesarian. A handsome, lively, cheeky 8yo boy who plays football and drops spaghetti down his front- he might not have been here at all.

alicet · 12/10/2008 22:05

The funny thing was that when I was awaiting my elective cs for ds2 (emergency cs for ds1 after he became distressed when I was 9cm dilated) I felt that I needed to justify to others why I had chosen this option! Ridiculous really since it's not anyone's business but mine, my dh's and my consultant's.

I actually found that most people were entirely supportive but a couple of people were a bit disparaging about my choice - it was up to me to choose between a vbac and elective section after weighing up the pros and cons of each - did they not think I had thought long and hard about it?!!??

In your situation I would be tempted to say 'Oh I'm too posh to push and I quite fancied a free tummy tuck'. Nosy buggers.

colacubes · 12/10/2008 22:25

Twelvelegs, 2 sections here, one emergency, one selective/waters all gone and dd being bloody awkward, didnt want to come out!

Rude buggers the lot of em, good luck with your 4th quick unpainful easy peasy birth!

TinkerBellesMum · 12/10/2008 22:32

YANBU, it's no one else's business, you've been through enough and if that's the route you've taken with your obstetrician then good for you.

I do think that CS's can be over prescribed, but I also know that I wouldn't have my healthy little girl without one, I'm probably going to have to have another one because of how they got her out. Sometimes in saving one they make it so that you don't get an option again. If I really can't have a VBAC then I will know that it was to save Tink.

They're not the easy option and I do get cross with people who think they are, but sometimes it's better than the alternative.