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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be p***** off with new mothers help on day 2

51 replies

mousemole · 07/10/2008 13:36

so far its not really going well.
Despite a very comprehensive time table of the day she is drifting around not getting much done. This morning in middle of really busy time she asked me to get the passwords so she could access the internet wirelessly from her computer. Then she asked where was best to put her computer in the day so she could use it (? its a full time 9-7 job).
Then she took DS1 for a walk, came inside and left very expensive Phil and Teds outside on the pavement in pouring rain. Frankly a miracle it wasn't stolen given it was there for 2 hrs. I came back from Doc's with Ds2 and she was on the phone to the travel agent about a trip to Paris.
I just dont want this person in my house, it is driving me nuts. AIBU or hormonal ?

OP posts:
Trebuchet · 07/10/2008 13:37

yanbu, get rid!

lulabellarama · 07/10/2008 13:39

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

NappiesGalore · 07/10/2008 13:42

if she is like this now, imagine what she'll be like when she 'settles in' and 'relaxes into the role'
you need to have words.
when you are finished, i would be surprised if she didnt do the leaving for you.

Original poster
mousemole · 07/10/2008 13:43

oh FFS, she just walked in on DS1's bedroom ( he is asleep) to put clothes away and woke him up. I could cry. I just wanted some HELP.

OP posts:
littlestarschildminding · 07/10/2008 13:44

Just make it clear to her that she is not to use the computer during working hours...she is only allowed to make short personal phone calls while working and she is not to leave the P&T on the pavement EVER! If you don't want her to do these things you need to tell her.

2 days isn't a long time for her to get settled, maybe have a review meeting with her at the end of her first week.

AMumInScotland · 07/10/2008 13:45

Get rid - on the first few days she should be going OTT to do things your way and prove she's good, not wafting round like a spare prick at a wedding.

Thankyouandgoodnight · 07/10/2008 13:45

Tell her it's just not working and save both of you some grief.

Original poster
mousemole · 07/10/2008 13:47

I dont think I can last the week. My gut feel says just knock it on the head now. I am all for encouragement and feedback but common sense is compulsory and the signs dont look good.

OP posts:
NappiesGalore · 07/10/2008 13:49

agree mousemole.

i think that once you spell out all the dos and donts based on her cockups to date, she will think 'oh dear, this isnt the job i thought it was' and leave.

ingles2 · 07/10/2008 13:51

YANBU....
Have a chat, if things don't improve immediately...get rid!

tessofthedurbervilles · 07/10/2008 13:52

She sounds like she has the common sense of a cheese sandwich and not someone I would leave my kids with. Get rid. I believe in gut instinct.

jujumaman · 07/10/2008 13:55

give her one last chance, a chat today and if thinks are not drastically better tomorrow, then bye!

it isn't sounding at all good

But I thought my nanny was a disaster for the first few weeks. Gave her time to settle into the job and a year on she's brilliant and I can't imagine life without her.

Admittedly I'm talking about someone who was over eager to please and you sound like you have the opposite problem - I think the pandt and waking up ds could just be scattiness during a settling in period but wanting wireless access!

FGS. What are these young people like [old git emoticon]

kt14 · 07/10/2008 13:56

probably fairest to have a chat first, she may have worked for someone totally different before, and not be aware of your (reasonable) expectations.
That said, she'd be doing my head in and I think I would need to get rid before it got unpleasant.

hecAteTheirBrains · 07/10/2008 13:57

Her working day is 9-7! Bloody hell I hope that pays well!

I think you need to be straight - computer off, only to be used outside working hours and during her breaks (I am assuming she gets scheduled breaks?)

She MUST complete all the tasks on the timetable.

She MUST take care of your belongings or she will be responsible for replacing them.

Lay it out for her, if she doesn't like it, best that she leaves now, don't you think?

Winebeforepearls · 07/10/2008 13:57

I would trust your gut feeling. I had a very similar situation and put it down to hormones as I was 8m+ pg with dc3 ... I had chats etc etc and glossed over the incident when dd1 was left to wander across the road on her own (quiet one-way, but I know I know).

But then a friend was round and was at her too, so I finally got rid. A week before my due date . The relief at not having her in the house was unbelievable.

FruitynNutty · 07/10/2008 14:00

I think as long as she understands she must complete all the tasks (within reason) that you set then she should make holiday plans and use the computer during her breaks. Surely she could save all her personal tasks for her breaks and her lunch hour?

Blondeshavemorefun · 07/10/2008 14:03

she sounds quite young, and prob needs a bit of guidense in what you want her to do

so maybe write her a list of what you want/need

10hrs is long when you have children, and assume she will have a bit of time to relax/have lunch and if need be catch up on emails - but maybe say to her that at 1pm she can have 30mins etc when child is asleep

very annoying she woke him up - but bet she didnt think tbh - she was trying to be helpful

have a chat, and see how the week end, and if she still isnt working out,then say to her

Cappuccino · 07/10/2008 14:04

9-7 and she can't go online?

that would be torture

I don't think any of us could do that

Mammina · 07/10/2008 14:06

Definitely get rid. How old is she? I was an au pair when I was 18, no experience with kids, but I would have never done any of this. It's just common sense

FruitynNutty · 07/10/2008 14:08

I'm sure she would get a lunch hour
Plus breaks

She should use this time for her person tasks and not her working time.

As for leaving a P&T out in the rain I would be cross too - currently saving for one now!

I'm not sure a young mothers help would realise the expense of items like this. Maybe she thought she was being helpful by not bringing a wet pram into the house?

FruitynNutty · 07/10/2008 14:09

Personal tasks

Ebb · 07/10/2008 14:33

Most nannies / mothers helps don't get a lunch hour or breaks as such and a 10 hour day is pretty standard.

I would ban using the Internet during work hours unless she gets everything done and the Dc are asleep or having 'quiet' time. Agree she may have thought it was better to leave the pushchair outside than bring it in if it was wet / dirty. I would tell her where to put it in future but to be honest if she isn't going all out to 'make a good impression' in the first few days then I don't think it bodes too well for the future.

Is she very young or is this her first job? Do you think she will improve with 'training'?

Blondeshavemorefun · 07/10/2008 14:38

true nannies dont get a lunch hour - but when kids are asleep, i fiddle about on the internet ( ie now )

this keeps me sane!!

Rhubarb · 07/10/2008 14:43

They don't get lunch hours or breaks? Is that not illegal? Would you work 9-7 on their pay with no lunch hour or break?

Poor girl is just asking questions, trying to get it right. Why not do her a list, try and answer some of those questions so that you're not bothered by them again. Tell her when she can take a break to use her pc, when she is allowed (if ever) to use the telephone and if she needs to pay for calls. Tell her that all outdoor stuff needs to come in. Give her a trial period of a week, make sure she knows this and see how things go.

But FFS give the girl some time to get a bloody cup of tea and a sandwich at some point!

Original poster
mousemole · 07/10/2008 14:43

she is 28 so not young really. It is a long day but she has between 1 and 3 off to do her stuff. I think that is reasonable and therefore no need to be on phone or on line at other times. I am just at the approach really. Maybe I am an old git but there is just NO WAY on my second day of a job I'd ask my employer about wifi access and call my travel agent to arrange a short break. I am going on gut and getting rid !

OP posts:
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