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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be pissed off that the head teacher has banned nutella in the school for one child?

332 replies

eddiejo · 06/10/2008 21:21

The story.... one boy (hers) has allergy to nuts so now nutella is banned . I totally understand the whole anaphlaxis thing but as mum to year 1 boy with multiple food allergies - i would never expect the rest of the school to stop eating what he is allergic to.

Nutella was one of the few spreads which he could eat and made the bread edible. not healthy I know but more important to get energy in him.

What do you think?

OP posts:
BlueBumedFly · 07/10/2008 12:54

Another thing, no, I don't expect that a child eating Nutella sandwich a few hundred yards away can hurt a child but some people here have small children who won't fully understand their allergy. Kids like to trade food I am sure you remember doing that at school? This makes the excluded child feel like a total freak.

My DD has been bullied as she is thought of as 'greedy' as she wont share or trade lunch. The simple fact is she cannot, now this stops her from wanting to go to school.

Ahhhhhhhhh

expatinscotland · 07/10/2008 12:55

'YABU!!!! Nutella could KILL MY CHILD!!!!! And believe me you would absolutely expect the whole school to stop eating something that could affect your child. '

What are you going to do when your child is not in school?

Expect the entire world to go nut free?

This is an honest and genuine question, before you leap down my throat.

Peachy · 07/10/2008 12:57

YABU for reasons others give

Peaut butter is one of the few foods ds1 eats (asd) but if it were give it up or have another child die, well it goes obviosuly.

Litchick · 07/10/2008 12:57

Balloon - Those figure are heartening but that study does also say that the reason why there were so few fatalities was parents' watchfullness.
Also whilst each exposure to nuts may not result in a 'severe' reaction it may make the next one worse. So a child with a perfectly controllable allergy at five may end up with a life threatening allergy at ten if he/she is constantly exposed at school.

spicemonster · 07/10/2008 12:58

So has any child died from being near Nutella?

Weegle · 07/10/2008 12:59

I'm guessing outside of the school environment as a child grows up they learn to take responsibility for their allergies. Nephew is very good and won't eat something without checking with his mum (he's 7). He doesn't eat in restaurants. And there are no nuts in his house. His mum sends food to parties. If he's going to a friend's house to play then his mum speaks to the other mum first.

I guess there's too much risk in a school lunch room of trading, or other kids thinking "oh wouldn't it be cool to chase X with the food he hates" or whatever... I remember someone forcing eggs in to my face at school for a laugh, because they knew I didn't like them. For children who haven't learnt the seriousness of allergies there's the risk of something like that... I'm guessing.

BlueBumedFly · 07/10/2008 13:00

expatinscotland - no, because when she is older and has a better handle on her condition she will make better informed decisions. At this time she is just a small child who believes (quite rightly) that we are there to protect her.

We will not be following her to university yelling at nut eating co-eds, we will protect her whilst she is a minor and needs us. We will educate her to what is safe and what she can and cannot eat/do. If you read my second point I make it is the whole thing about kids not knowing how careful they really have to be and being made to sit alone each lunchtime is really very damaging for a child. It stops them making friends, it takes away their confidence, it makes them feel 'different' and do you know what? It makes them cry and cry and get really very upset that they cannot have a normal day like every other kid is entitled to.

BalloonSlayer · 07/10/2008 13:03

BlueBumedFly?

Do you give your child yogurt, cheese, etc in his/her lunchbox?

Well any of those could kill MY child.

I would be quite prepared to send in nut free food for the sake of your child.

Would you be prepared to send in only dairy free food for the sake of mine?

Don't worry about answering. It's a hypothetical question - you will never be asked to.

I have already had my DS unable to eat his sandwiches because a "friend" of his thought it was a funny joke to cover them with a dairy product. I am just waiting for the phone call to say he is having an allergic reaction because someone decided to flick yogurt at him "just for a laugh".

Weegle · 07/10/2008 13:06

BalloonSlayer - in that case I actually think dairy should be banned in your DS school - if he has an anaphylactic reaction to dairy and needs adrenalin administering then it should be the same as a severe nut allergy. What do the school say?

darkpunk · 07/10/2008 13:06

be quiet expat...please.

BlueBumedFly · 07/10/2008 13:06

Ballonslayer - no i do not give her cheese or yogurt. Her best friend has a dairy allergy so I make sure they can sit together.

I want to state I am not a screaming mad women, I take ALL allergies very very seriously. I am in a group where kids can have an anaphylactic reaction to the slightly splash of milk.

So no, DD has rice and salad and ham and fruit and all sorts of good healthy stuff.

Litchick · 07/10/2008 13:07

Ex pat - my daughter has only recently been diagnosed and this is something I think about a lot. What will I do outside of school?
Well I would hope that her friends and family would love her enough not to insist on eating nuts near her though her tein is unimpressed . I also assume she'll get old enough to simply not even contemplate eating stuff she's not sure of. It is an enormous worry - how the future will pan out. But all I can do is keep her safe now so
am very glad our school happens to be nut free.
Am trully shocked that people seem so blase about this.

georgiemum · 07/10/2008 13:08

Nuts are banned at our school. Many happy hours deciding if coconut counts as a nut or not.

FioFio · 07/10/2008 13:08

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expatinscotland · 07/10/2008 13:09

'If you read my second point I make it is the whole thing about kids not knowing how careful they really have to be and being made to sit alone each lunchtime is really very damaging for a child. It stops them making friends, it takes away their confidence, it makes them feel 'different' and do you know what? It makes them cry and cry and get really very upset that they cannot have a normal day like every other kid is entitled to.'

Oh, yes, believe it or not, I know what. My child has special needs. She's different. She always will be. The world isn't set up for her needs - we have to adjust her to suit the world the best we can. But it's my job to teach her that life goes on, and not everyone is going to be nice or fair even though she's a little girl and that if people try to make her feel like a freak, that's because they are the one with problem.

Confidence comes from within, from your family empowering you.

And like it or not, life is sometimes very upsetting. It's not somethign that ends in childhood. We need to give her the tools to deal with that rather than expecting everyone else to bend over backwards to accommodate that.

And, as someone pointed out, a lot of the fatal reactions come when the sufferer is a teen or young adult and feels invincible.

FioFio · 07/10/2008 13:10

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expatinscotland · 07/10/2008 13:11

'Well I would hope that her friends and family would love her enough not to insist on eating nuts near her though her tein is unimpressed . '

Thing is, Lit, sometimes nuts are in a lot of things a person might quite innocently not know.

Our school is not nut-free, if it were fair enough.

But you gotta wonder about all this banning and such.

expatinscotland · 07/10/2008 13:12

it is, Fio, when they only put Nutella on the list.

when there's all kinds of other stuff with nuts in it or traces of nuts or nut products.

BlueBumedFly · 07/10/2008 13:13

Ex-pat - Good for you being able to deal with this whole thing so positively. bviously I am not half as good at this mum thing as you are.

FioFio · 07/10/2008 13:13

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ADragonIs4LifeNotJustHalloween · 07/10/2008 13:14

Is it the only thing on the list? I can't imagine peanut butter is allowed. Did I miss that bit?

expatinscotland · 07/10/2008 13:14

Ex-pat - Good for you being able to deal with this whole thing so positively. bviously I am not half as good at this mum thing as you are.

Well, BlueBlumed, it's never too late to start trying.

Litchick · 07/10/2008 13:17

That is true Expat.
But most people seem perfectly happy to try to avoid hurting her where they can.
I would consider somone very odd who didn't care less.

FioFio · 07/10/2008 13:17

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JuneBugJen · 07/10/2008 13:18

Not read the rest of this...But I had to go home at lunchtimes due to nuts not being banned at school (this was the 70's).

It made me feel very excluded.

So YABVU. Not having nutella wont kill a child but having it would.

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