AIBU to be pissed off that the head teacher has banned nutella in the school for one child?

[eddiejo]

The story.... one boy (hers) has allergy to nuts so now nutella is banned . I totally understand the whole anaphlaxis thing but as mum to year 1 boy with multiple food allergies - i would never expect the rest of the school to stop eating what he is allergic to.

Nutella was one of the few spreads which he could eat and made the bread edible. not healthy I know but more important to get energy in him.

What do you think?

Weegle, it's no longer serious enough that a tiny trace on the skin will do much. He has always had to ingest milk for it to endanger him. But yogurt flicked across his face (if/when it happens) would cause a dramatic skin reaction that would probably make the school crap themselves but be not in itself all that serious.

I have not even considered asking them to ban milk. How would they do that? Kids under 5 get free school milk FFS !

And as someone else says - milk is everywhere. He has to learn that he is not like everyone else - sad but tough. There are plenty of parents who would thank God on bended knees if all they had to cope with was a milk allergy.

The point I keep trying to make is that nut allergy - even a very mild one - seems to be taken more seriously than any other allergy, whereas I think it is the severity of the allergy that's important, not what it is to^.

Litchick - yes I thought that, that maybe the statistics were so good because of the ban in schools.

BlueBumedFly - sorry I did not mean to make you feel I was ranting at you. The little girl with the dairy allergy is lucky you are so thoughful.

I think I am bringing my own agenda on to this thread and had better bow out before I get tearful!

Being panicked about it never helps, though.

Being rational, yes, especially give the OP's school only has nutella on the list when there's so much out there.

Ex-pat - thanks for that, I don't have the energy to fight this one as it is getting stupid, I was being very slightly sarcastic.

We do our best OK? We try to fill her with confidence, teach her she is her own person and she can make her own life as great and as exciting at the next person. We teach her the benefits of taking each and every child's 'needs' into account as treat the next person with as much respect as she wants to be treated with. In fact as a child who has needs she is wonderful at dealing with other kids who are not seen as totally 'normal'.

But, sadly, she struggles. And when you have seen a child with her face swollen so much she cannot open her eyes and she cannot seem to get any air in through utter panic that her lips start to go blue, you will try to move heaven and earth. All she did was hold hands with another kid who had eaten nuts. Any can we stop this? No, of course not, that is unrealistic but we can bloody well try.

I don't know why I am bothering to argue as you will just take another one of my lines and tear it apart.

Good luck with your DD and I hope you will with me good luck with mine.

Ah, this is interesting. Not talking as a parent with a child who is allergic, but as a nut-allergic person myself (tree nuts, not peanuts).

I'm really torn - it must be HORRIBLY worrying when your child starts school and you know the wrong food could be fatal (not just for nut-allergic children of course - for other allergies too). But, as many have pointed out, you can't ban everything. Kids have to learn what to avoid.

Perhaps the school could get some lessons across so all children learn about allergies and how they mustn't swap food?

BBF - so sorry to hear about your DD. It is so frightening.

It's all you can do is the best you can do.

But the OP's school has only banned the nutella and not everything else.

But you'd think she'd suggested cutting the poor kid's head off.

I have some sympathy with the OP. It's sometimes a bit OTT. We are a nut-free school as far as is possible. The reason for that was that there was a boy on DS#1's class who had a nut allergy. Said boy is now in Yr7 at secondary school but the ban remains. He is my DS#1's best mate and his mum tells me that his allergy is almost non-existent now, and has been for a few years.

I'm sure there are many children who risk death from contact with nuts, but many who aren't anything like so badly affected. It's a bit blanket sometimes.

Balloon-slayer, I did not think you were ranting, I think you had an excellent point. Good luck with your DD, I hope she keeps well.

And I am already tearful so I am off too.

Should also say ( again ) that the reason fatal reactions happen in teens and young adults is that the cumulative effect of yeras of exposure can add up to a severe reaction.
So a young child who gets an itchy mouth may turn into a teen who suffers shock because he had to sit next to someone eating nuttella every lunchtime.

BlueBumedFly - you poor thing, I can only imagine how worrying it must be for you. I have very serious reactions to nuts, so I feel for your DD.

Are you aware of the Anaphylaxis Campaign (for all severe allergies, not just nuts)? Tis good. Will find a link now.

JuneBugJen - thanks hun, as you know DD is in a study at them moment and hopefully we will be out of this danger zone soon but I will never ever stop fighting for little ones who have no choice but to rely on the fact people are looking out for them.

Where did the OP go, btw? Has she been strung up somewhere?

Haven't seen a thread get so nasty so quickly in a while, I mean, even colditz getting a post deleted.

Anaphylaxis Campaign

And their guidance for schools etc

TheOldestCat - you are very very kind. Yes, in fact we are on an immunotherapy study right now and we are making excellent progress. I think this thread is mixing up a lot of emotion so I really must be off now but many thanks again for your kind words. I hope you keep well. )

Litchick you are incorrect. Teen deaths are due to

a.It's the time of their life when their brain is being rewired and they do not recognise danger and feel invincible.

b.they just are a bit more careless (again a teen thing)

There is no evidence that years of exposure can build up sensitivity. I think in fact if you look on the allergies board there is a child at the moment taking part in trials which are based on gradually building up exposure and has now actually eaten a peanut. ( i may be wrong)

Stewie, apparently, there was a thread on here yesterday from an OP whose school now does not allow ANY snack at all, even in the lunchbox, but fruit.

The OP's child struggles hard to gain weight and needs lots of calories, so she was not happy with the new rule. Also, there is no hot lunch/kitchen premsises at the school.

So I thought maybe a more high calorie main course for his lunch than a sandwich.

But another poster said a lot of schools prohibit pupils brining in soups or stews or chillis because of health and safety rules.

BlueBumedFly

I still struggle with nut-iquette. I've had an attack of wheezing at work because someone a few desks away was eating walnuts. And my evil ex-boss used to slather her paws in almond hand cream and use my keyboard - the result was eczema and swollen lips (my fault for biting my nails before I realised!).

Anyway, hope the Anaphylaxis Campaign can help some of you.

I think that if the OP had said that the school had not previously taken allergies seriously and had only acted when the Head's child started this thread would have gone quite differently (which seems to be at least part of her gripe).

I suspect that the reason why nut allergies are regarded as being so much worse that any other allergy is probably due to the amount of publicity about them.

In an ideal world the school and parents concerned would do a risk assessment of each condition, and then act accordingly, reviewing it every now and then. But they don't. It is probably much easier for a parent with a child with a nut allergy to ask for nuts to be banned than for parents whose children have other less known about but equally serious allergies to have those taken as seriously.

Personally I would comply with any rules that were put in place to prevent a child from having a frightening reaction. I am sure I would moan about them privately too, but then that is what people tend to do when inconvenienced. The idea that some poor child would have to eat lunch with a special monitor hovering over their shoulder is pretty horrible (but I do have bad experiences of dinner ladies, which is colouring my thoughts on that one ).

One thing this thread has demonstrated is the level of ignorance about allergies. And I agree with whoever said that the situation isn't helped by people who say that they have a wheat allergy when they're on a diet. Or the boy who went on a playdate at my sister's house who told her he was allergic to tomatoes and on calling his mother, was told that he just doesn't like them!

I agree with balloonslayer too - there is a general perception that all children with nut allergies will Die (sic colditz ) whereas children with other allergies are not going to suffer too badly.

It must be truly awful to have a child at school who is so severly allergic and I would be a nervous wreck but I can kind of see where Expat is coming from (never thought I'd hear myself say that ) I'm sure I would want foods banned at school that could potentially kill my child but it's not as straight forward as that. What if someone had peanut butter or Nuttella on toast before they went to school and they didn't wash their hands, what if a child was eating a seeded wholegrain slice of bread? what if, what if? Just banning food at school isn't the answer. Educating your child and the other children is the answer. I think the child should be supervised at lunchtime or sat away from the others and yes, that might make them unhappy and feel different but it would keep them alive. I can't see how you can tell a whole school what they can't eat when the responsiblility lies at the child and their parents ultimately.

Run fast, Hels! The OP certainly has.