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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

to find a man who coudlnt drive UTTERLy unattractive

880 replies

NotCod · 30/09/2008 14:52

and rather pathetic

yadaydayd meddical expcetiosn etc

OP posts:
Janos · 30/09/2008 21:34

Yeah back to OP really...who cares if a bloke can't drive?

Total non issue.

But then I don't need a bloke to do anything for me cos I do more or less everything that needs to be done myself anyway, and I'm damn well proud of it!!

Not saying I wouldn't mind someone to help with the chores, like

mrsruffallo · 30/09/2008 21:34

Well, we are from London and I have lots of male friends who can't drive.
It doesn't bother me in the slightest, in fact I find it quite odd that it would have any bearing on a man's sexiness.
Why would it?

tigermoth · 30/09/2008 21:37

I used to write car brochures as a living and worked with lots of male petrol heads - I wouldn't say 'sexy' is the first word I'd use to describe them tbh.

Lazyness, selfishness, and wimpy dependence aren't sexy, I'd agree, but non driving men don't have to come across like this.

UnquietDad · 30/09/2008 21:37

In 100 years' time, all the petrol will be used up, and nobody will be tearing around burning up fossil fuels anyway. Someone will have invented the programmable solar-powered hover-pod where you just insert a card with all your destination details and sit back and let it do the hard work.

onebatmother · 30/09/2008 21:38

"If all cars disappeared overnight, together with knowledge of how to work them, there wold be no need for people to learn to re-invent them and reacquire the skill."

um, no. But since they do exist, and are jolly convenient and independence-boosting, it seems rather odd not to learn how to drive them, even if you then choose not to do so for political (small p) reasons.

What MrsM said really, apart from that. I never simpered, I swear!

Christ, I even feel sexier since I learnt to drive. Seriously.

So I do slightly love you UQD, because you're clever, but not as much as I'd love you if you could get over your fear of the machine.

HRHSaintMamazon · 30/09/2008 21:38

it would put me off a bit.

UnquietDad · 30/09/2008 21:39

I have actually never stated my own personal driving circumstances and the reasons behind them.

LittleBella · 30/09/2008 21:39

I agree, most driving is non-essential. But in a society where public transport is shit, it is simply inefficient to use it. EG, I work 9 miles from where I live. To use a train, it would take over an hour. In the car, it takes 15 minutes. On a bus, it would take about 30 minutes, so better than train, but the cost of it would be £30 a week, which is far higher than the cost of the car, which is so much quicker and more convenient and can also be used to transport things.

I'm not arguing that car use is great - I'm just arguing that in a society which has prioritised it over other modes of transport, it is simply the most convenient form there is and to opt out of it usually causes a deal of inconvenience. That may change with parking charges, congestion, different road priorities etc., but at present, although a lot of lip service is being paid to "shared space", ie pedestrians and cyclists having equal use of the road, in reality, town planning is all about keeping traffic (cars) moving, so being any other sort of road user is bloody inconvenient. Which doesn't mean I approve of it or am in favour of it (quite the contrary, I would love to see cycle lanes everywhere and cars slowed to 5mph at all times in order to give cyclists and pedestrians total priority, but I just know that's not going to happen).

onebatmother · 30/09/2008 21:39

Actually strike that, now you've revealed your crazy 1970s vision of the future.

UnquietDad · 30/09/2008 21:40

Not that crazy surely? The petrol will all be used up. What's going to happen then?

daftpunk · 30/09/2008 21:40

cars = sexy = jeremy clarkson ??

tigermoth · 30/09/2008 21:42

Going back to the OP I'd find a non-driving man to be interesting - and that's a bit sexy in itself. On further investigation, I might find the non driving epitomises all sorts of lazy, selfish, traits - or not.

mrsruffallo · 30/09/2008 21:43

WHAT IS SEXY ABOUT DRIVING???

ahundredtimes · 30/09/2008 21:45

I love everything about this thread. Just everything. From UQD's passionate defence of the non-driving male - and I do really love the line above too - to Anna's husband in his french driving gloves.

daftpunk · 30/09/2008 21:45

nothing..that's what i'm saying..

ahundredtimes · 30/09/2008 21:45

Oh sorry, I can't remember what the line above was. I copied and pasted it.

LuLuMacGloo · 30/09/2008 21:46

So right, daftpunk.

onebatmother · 30/09/2008 21:48

yes, yes, you're quite right UQD. But none of us will be attractive in 100 yrs time so it's academic within the context of this partic discussion (which I see I am taking slightly less seriously than I should).

I still think that MrsM had it when she said that it's the same as refusing to learn how a washing-machine is operated. Bespeaks simultaneous infantilization/passivity/arrogance - a bizarre combo which should be impossible because entirely self-contradictory, but actually is pretty common.

You don't have to drive them, you just have to know how to, I think. I v much admire people who don't on ethical grounds.

LittleBella · 30/09/2008 21:48

I don't think there's anything particularly sexy about driving.

I do think there is something unsexy about someone who doesn't do it because he's too lazy/ irresponsible/ drunk/ self-righteous to drive.

There's nothing unsexy about someone who doesn't because he believes in not driving but has a perfectly workable solution to being able to go where he wants when he wants without a car. (That's based on the assumptions that his destinations of choice are more interesting than the pub, btw)

onebatmother · 30/09/2008 21:50

v well said LB

It's not that driving is sexy, it's that not being able to (all things being equal) isn't/

ahundredtimes · 30/09/2008 21:50

Noooo. It's not that cars or driving are sexy. It is whether a man who cannot drive is UTTERLY unattractive.

There is a difference.

I don't think being able to drive shoots you into the sexy stratosphere - via hover pod - [unless you are OBM]. The questions is whether men who can't drive are unattractive.

And a VERY good question it has proved to be.

daftpunk · 30/09/2008 21:53

well the answer is no..they're not unattractive....i know a few men that have never learn't to drive..they're green.

ahundredtimes · 30/09/2008 21:55

YABU then?

mrsruffallo · 30/09/2008 21:55

I didn't even knoew that DH could drive until way into our relationship.
I find it weird that it would influence how you felt about somebody
I don't agree that it is as essential as operating a washing machine.

LittleBella · 30/09/2008 21:58

Loads more men don't know how to operate a washing machine though

And they're not just unsexy, they're cretins