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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to really get annoyed when people wheel out this cliche

26 replies

emkana · 26/09/2008 22:45

about SAHM's having nothing to talk about at toddler groups and coffee mornings other than the colour of their babies' poo

(as said today on Victoria Derbyshire)

OP posts:
saint2shoes · 26/09/2008 22:48

sorry was going to answer you, but got side tracked by the gorgeous young man on your profile

Twinklemegan · 26/09/2008 22:57

IME I'm not aware that SAHMs at toddler groups even notice they have children, let alone talk about them.

Yingers74 · 26/09/2008 22:58

I was talking about the banking crisis today!

saint2shoes · 26/09/2008 22:59

I spent a good 20 mins discussing poo today, Poo is actually a major pert of my sn life

TheCrackFox · 26/09/2008 23:01

Who is Victoria Derbyshire. Sorry, I am a SAHM so obviously a bit thick.

SlartyBartFast · 26/09/2008 23:01

but where else can you discuss such a vital part of your life?

bloomingfedup · 26/09/2008 23:02

I am a SAHM - rarley talk about poo.

wessexgirl · 26/09/2008 23:03

No, no, no YANBU!

Very clearly just a clumsy barb in the constant inter-sisterhood war.

Boring, offensive, rubbish, ill-thought-out etc. If employers like that kind of lazy thinking, then work ain't for me .

cheesesarnie · 26/09/2008 23:04

emkana omg he is gorgeous!awww

im soo over the poo thang.now i spend my hours talking about how many wees in potty versus how many in pants.sooooo interesting!

LouMacca · 26/09/2008 23:13

bloomingfedup - I am SAHM too!! yay, we have something in common

Tiramissu · 26/09/2008 23:19

YANBU (and i 'm a working mum)

Janni · 27/09/2008 00:11

I have never, ever, ever, discussed the colour or consistency of any of my children's poo with anyone other than a medical professional.

Some SAHMS are tedious, some are great - same as any other group of people.

TeenyTinyTorya · 27/09/2008 00:49

I have to say that I hate toddler groups. I do find that the ones I go to are filled with mums talking about poo. I don't have any friends who are friends just because they are mums and that is all we have in common. In fact I only have one friend who has a child. If I want to talk about baby stuff, Mumsnet works quite nicely.

So, YAB slightly U in my experience, but that's because I find that the cliche is true.

BurpyErnie · 27/09/2008 00:55

The toddler group I go to is full of child minders. They think I'm a SAHM.... but by night I work in a call centre!

ScottishMummy · 27/09/2008 01:00

hated baby gp's (weirdly competitive) i-am-mother-i-am-woman who did yak about feeding/poo etc!more to talk about really

coffee mornings never went to any!

ScottishMummy · 27/09/2008 01:00

hated baby gp's (weirdly competitive) i-am-mother-i-am-woman who did yak about feeding/poo etc!more to talk about really

coffee mornings never went to any!

Whoopee · 27/09/2008 01:37

I went to one of these groups for a bit when I was feeling really lonely. I've been lucky and met several genuinely sound women with lovely kids.

Didn't talk about poo. Made a point of asking people what they used to do before kids. What they really enjoy. Trying to find out what makes them tick, or used to.

I can see both sides. I find it boring to go on and on and on about my child and I find it boring when other people go on and on and on about theirs. But to make new friends, you have to start somewhere, like on common ground, and I suppose people choose poo because it brings you down to earth. It's a lowest common denominator.

I'd rather talk to "poo people" than to the grinding anal bore I overheard at another mother-and-baby group, who insisted her toddler's quinoa was organic, and was genuinely aghast that anyone would ever give a biscuit to a child. I never went back to that group.

Janni · 28/09/2008 00:55

Whoopee - I wonder if it's the same mother I met, who didn't eat honey because it was 'like a bee's breastmilk'.

At this particular right-on group they used to serve up ricecakes and seaweed as the snacks du jour

SmugColditz · 28/09/2008 01:16

We don't talk about poo at the toddler groups I go to. We talk about sex. (Maybe that's because I am a little obsessed atm and I am unconsciously lowering the tone)

Slurwitch · 28/09/2008 01:19

Actually I think thtat would be consciously colditz

We talk about politics

And then I come here to talk about sex

StayFrosty · 28/09/2008 16:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SqueakyPop · 28/09/2008 16:46

It is like that sometimes though, emkana. I think basically it can be hard to get over the smalltalk - I don't really think it is true to suggest that that is all that SAHMs can think about.

I went straight to running M&T groups and coffee groups, I guess, because I was not into smalltalk.

katpink · 14/10/2008 12:27

to start with with i really hated mother and baby groups a si found they were full of women who had no adults to talk to all week and saved it all up and then kind of spat it all at once at you.
this made it hard to have a converstation as everyone was just trying to get as much out as pos.
it seems to have got better recently.
although i went o one this week where the mums only spoke to their own children and ignored all the other mums plus it was v expense and the children only got a chocolate biscuit and a glass of water. i would have rather talked about poo all day then sat there for 2 hours.

findtheriver · 14/10/2008 12:31

I think kat has a point. If you're a SAHM you don't have the contact with adults that you would in the workplace. Of course, many SAHMs do make the effort to get out and see people, but it;s not the same, you're talking about a different sphere of people, and when you get everyone under one roof for toddler group it can just be whoosh!!! All comes out at once.

I found the time that I started talking about brands of nappy as though it was a worthwhile topic was time to get back to work!

Niecie · 14/10/2008 12:42

Annoys me too - usually women who aren't SAHM assuming that all SAHM talk about is children.

Totally not true ime, or at least no more so than any other walk of life.

My last boss was the absolute worst for talking about her children - she could do it for hours which was particularly tedious as I didn't have any at the time. I never come across people like that in toddler groups. Why would they want to talk about their children anyway - their children are only 6ft away from them most of the time.

And there is always the assumption that people who go to toddler groups are SAHM. A lot of the ones I know work part time and go to TGs on their days off.

Flaming stereotypes.

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