to resent paying for other people's wine when I'm pregnant and can't drink?

[fruitstick]

I'm being very grumpy but went out last night for a birthday dinner with a large group of friends. We are the only couple who have children and I'm pregnant with DC2.

Not only did it cost us £40 for a baby sitter but the bill was split and came to £42 each, half of which was for the wine!

I had to sit and watch everyone get rat arsed whilst I had half a glass, then leave early as we had to get back for babysitter, and pay through the nose for the privilege.

I'm really worried about money at the moment but should I feel allowed to object or just accept that it's one of the pitfalls of being pregnant.

Harrumph.

Agree totally with Cappuccino on this, bill splitting may not be the height of elegance, but needs must.

I still can't believe that some people would rather their friends stay home.

blimey!
i never pay for other peoples wine. i am usualy designated driver as well.

didnt know this wasnt the norm. i dont drink even when not pregnant, prefer soft drinks/water.

this used to really piss me off when I was pregnant with dd1 and what added insult was they expected me to be a glorified taxi too... I made up for it though, after dd was born I made sure I ordered lots of wine and expensive brandy post meal- ha ha ha in their face!
What makes me mad is that my dh has a good job and we are financially good and I get to be a sahm which annoys them, so it is expected that we fork out I mean at the end of the day we can afford it- cheeky beggers!!!!!!

YANBU - I would have put in say £30 instead of the £40 and said that ought to cover your food and half glass of wine. I've been there before many times over supplementing other people's drinks bills.

In my book if I end up having to pay a tenner more than my fair share I say split the bill fairly.

YANBU - I would have put in say £30 instead of the £40 and said that ought to cover your food and half glass of wine. I've been there before many times over supplementing other people's drinks bills.

In my book if I end up having to pay a tenner more than my fair share I say split the bill fairly.

YABU, you need to just pay your part.

Think about how you would feel if it was on the other foot (shoe) and some friend with DCs and PG said 'Oh no, we'll just pay £30 instead' - it would totally sour an atmosphere.

You should say upfront if you really wanted to make sure you did not pay equal amounts.

I am not saying for a minute that I want my friends to stay at home, I am actually hyper-aware of not making non drinkers pay for the booze. And if all your friends are pissed you are quite within the realms of politeness to point out that you didn't drink wine, your friends won't mind.

You lot must have friends with no manners or have no manners yourselves
If I am out with a friends, anyone who is not drinking (whether pregnant or teetotal) just pays for their meal and everyone else splits the remainder, pretty fair when the drinks bill comes to more than the actual meal.

I have been out in other company and drinking myself but sitting next to a girl who did not drink, it was me that spoke up that she should just pay for her meal as she was too embarrassed, everyone else was drunk and had just forgot.

"think about how you would feel if it was on the other foot (shoe) and some friend with DCs and PG said 'Oh no, we'll just pay £30 instead' "

I'd think that was fair enough

why do the people who spend less have to be the ones being 'gracious'?

what on earth is gracious or polite about drinking copious amounts of wine at someone else's expense?

Look the truth is that if your friends are greedy thoughtless and don't think about others in their social circle, well then they are just not that nice. As I said, if they are true friends and they are pissed and forget, they won't mind being reminded.

So I hate it (and it has happened) when someone has said 'Actually I will only pay £30 because I did not drink' or pay £25 because I did not have a starter. Agree upfront how you will split the bill.

I organised a hen and was left with an almighty bill to pay when it was agreed upfront that it would be £40 (or whatever it was) each including wine. One girl said she only had water so would only pay £30 (or whatever it was) and another said 'I didn't have any starter, so I will only pay £30' and another said 'Well, I hardly ate because there was no veggie option so i will only pay £30' - the bill still had to be paid.

You should pay your fair share and enjoy it at another time when you can drink and someone else cannot or you should say upfront, 'actually I'm not drinking and cash is a bit tight, do you mind if we each pay for our own?'

Riven that's not fair, quite a few of us on the thread have said we wouldn't expect non-drinkers to contribute as much.

if some people pay less, then others need to pay more, if they ate or drank more

why is it okay for people to eat what they like and know that others who are not doing so will pick up the tab?

the bill needs to be paid, so the ones who ate the bulk of it should stump up, I'm sorry

OneLieIn, what about if you never drink?

we tend to go for splitting food bill evenly, but drinks seperatly, as usually a couple in the group dont drink, me included.

then we move to the bar, and people order more wine if they want it, or coffees

although once, the resturant tried to charge me for 8 diet cokes, when i had two. that would;ve cost more than wine

Misdee, if you never drink, then just agree upfront how you are going to pay / split the bill.

I don't drink much but when I do, I tend to use up my allowance and others too - I reckon it evens out over time in my case

if we go to a pub/bar then we all buy rounds. which is easier. i do drink then, if we have a cab booked on the way back ,but thats like once every two years i go out liek that.

A very gracious boss/friend would ask a group of young ones in the company out for dinner for a kind of moral boost (we were all expats, he was there alone, so appreciated the compan), he would get the bill, take a look at it, and say, oh just give me 10 quid each. We all knew it was waaay more than that, but it was his way of helping us have great night out, and as his allowance was so much bigger than ours was happy to pay the extra.

On the other hand, one of the female engineers who earned about double what I did, would turn up, saying oh I'm not really hungry, i'll just have x, and I won't be drinking. Then during the meal would eat food off OTHER peoples plates. ooooh that looks good, can I try that please. And would say oooooh is that wine nice, blinkblinkblink, so have some of that as well, and THEN complain about the bill and say but I only ordered x. The rest of us, incl less well off me, would then have to put in more as she refused. We did stop asking her out with us.

It is a minefield, and DH and I generally go for the gracious example, especially if we are aware of anothers financial/physical cirumstances.