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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that when you are a grown up it is a bit silly to blank someone

30 replies

2shoes · 17/09/2008 11:51

who you were once freinds with.
won't go into the whole tale but I once fell out with ds's mates mum(normal stuff and of course I was right)
although I made every attempt to patch things up back then(yr5) she still blanks me 7 years latter.
now I don't give a shit but is it not a bit silly, or am I silly for even asking?

OP posts:
cheesesarnie · 17/09/2008 11:58

i think its silly.very childish.

Rubyrubyruby · 17/09/2008 12:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

thebecster · 17/09/2008 12:01

It's silly but I've done it myself. Three times. Each time when I'd told someone repeatedly that I didn't want to be their friend any more but they kept contacting me and trying to patch it up, but I just didn't like them very much and didn't want them in my life. I just wanted rid of them! And I'd tried saying that, but they just tried to explain how I did want to be their friend really. So blanking them was my final way of getting that message across. Felt v. stupid and childish while doing it, but so relieved to no longer be dodging phonecalls and creeping around avoiding them!

FioFio · 17/09/2008 12:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

freshprincess · 17/09/2008 12:03

It kind of depends on what you fell out about really.

Murder her cat - YABU
Forget a coffee date - YANBU

bloomingfedup · 17/09/2008 12:52

I do this if the 'crime' is really serious.GRRR.

SixSpotBurnet · 17/09/2008 13:02

My next door neighbour blanks me because I had a massive go at her about her all night party. But to be honest I prefer it that way.

Not like we were ever friends though, so different to your situation.

What happens if you say hello to her - does she just ignore you?

Bridie3 · 17/09/2008 13:03

Silly, silly, silly. Says a lot about HER.

2beornot2be · 17/09/2008 13:26

My dad blanks me not that I give a shit. I would always say hello to someone that I know regardless if I liked them just to be the bigger person

ImnotMamaGbutsheLovesMe · 17/09/2008 13:28

I get blanked by someone I upset, even though I apologised but I am not 5 so let it go. I would talk to them if they talked to me.

LunarSea · 17/09/2008 13:40

The mother of one of ds1's friends blanks me because I told her when I caught her older ds (8) showing my 6 year old how to search for porn on the internet. In that situation I'd want to know, even if it wasn't a pleasant thing to have to deal with, but no apparently it's my crime for telling her.

jawjawnotwarwar · 17/09/2008 13:46

When I was a kid I'm sure nothing like this used to happen, it was only when I hit adulthood that this kind of thing started going on among my girlfriends!! Social aggression - it seems to be the acceptable weapon amongst women. It's horrible.

annoyingdevil · 17/09/2008 13:47

I'm being blanked at the moment and I've no idea why. It's a form of bullying executed to make the victim feel like total shit.

ImnotMamaGbutsheLovesMe · 17/09/2008 13:53

I agree

peacelily · 17/09/2008 14:09

It's mainly used by toxic women as a way of making other women (who I think they're usually jealous of) feel like crap, it's childish and emotionally abusive a very horrible form of social bullying.

I've never blanked anyone, even someone I didn't get on that well with anymore, am still civil and polite.

We were blanked by some friends once over a cat issue, our fault I must admit but by God did they make us pay for it! Then all of a sudden turned up on our doorstep asking us to come to the Pub!?! They're now blanking some other mates because they booked the wrong chalet on holiday last year or something (10 month old disagreement). The wife seems to have a history of this she's not got many friends and IMO has some social communication difficulties so maybe it can't be helped

PeppermintPatty · 17/09/2008 14:24

The only person I've blanked intentionally has been one particular ex-boyfriend. But he totally deserved it

However I'm short sighted, but not bad enough to justify wearing glasses all the time. Sometimes I accidently blank people just because haven't seen them (if they're on the other side of the street for instance)

eekamoose · 17/09/2008 14:29

There is a woman I blank whenever I see her. We had an argument and I just don't like her. I don't see why I should have to say hello to her. We just ignore each other. Neither of us wants to be friends (we weren't friends in the first place, only acquaintances).

I certainly don't think I'm childish, toxic or a bully. I just really don't like this person.

ImnotMamaGbutsheLovesMe · 17/09/2008 14:48

How many are wondering if it is them?!?!?!??!

katch · 17/09/2008 15:03

A 'friend' of mine suddenly started blanking me in public a few years ago, but as our dcs were good friends I still had to have contact with her, as I didn't think it was fair to spoil my kids' friendships for my sake.

She'd be sweet as pie when dropping off, but would then resume the Coventry treatment in the playground or at social events.

Luckily have now changed schools, and gradually let dc's friendships tail off, but at the time it was like a slap in the face, especially not knowing the reason, and being torn between confronting her and looking needy, and wanting to rise above and act unconcerned.

I think if a specific event has happened it's sort of understandable, though still unnecessary, but if you've no idea why it's happening it's very upsseting and potentially damaging.

saltire · 17/09/2008 15:11

I do blank my step sisters. that's justified though IMO

missjennipenni · 17/09/2008 16:25

I have an ex-friend who blanks me, I attempted a conversation once (after we had fallen out) but was blanked. Now its just a mutual ignoring of each other lol

pageturner · 17/09/2008 16:34

I was blanked yesterday by our head. I'm a governor and said something she didn't like at a meeting and now it's the iceberg-shoulder treatment. Pathetic and unprofessional.

ClairePO · 17/09/2008 16:38

My secretary blanks me. Childish.

Mercy · 17/09/2008 16:43

There is a mum at school who blanks me from time to time. Once we were the only 2 adults in the playground and were literally a couple of feet from each other.

I hardly even know her so god know why she does this.

singingtree · 17/09/2008 16:45

Wierd. I have sometimes very embarrassingly not recognised someone after, or thought that they hadn't recognised me, but purposefully blanking someone is just wierd and horrible

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