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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think the nursery may have slighty over reacted about the nursery bear?!

35 replies

Eddas · 13/09/2008 07:12

Two weeks ago we were just leaving nursery(DD, DS and me) one of the workers said 'oh would you like to take x(the nursery bear with you' (we were going on holiday) so I said yes as dd in particular seemed to like the idea of it.

We took the bear home and it sat around as typically when it got there dc weren't interested!

Fast forward a week, back off holiday, I get a letter in the post regarding nursery fees. So I ring to ask about them. At the end of the conversation nursery manager says, 'oh and whilst you're on do you have x (the nursery bear)?' so i confirmed we have him. 'oh' she says 'we had a very upset child that had booked him to go to a wedding' So I said sorry i hadn't realised, i'd been given the bear by a worker(stupidly I named them without thinking). I was a bit peeved at the woman's 'tone' but just thought oh well, nothing I can do and we won't take the damn bear again!

I thought very little more about it until yesterday when I was given a newsletter, and it's only bloody on there 'x went awol so please make sure it's only taken with permission'

AIBU to wonder who on earth would want to take the bloody bear to a wedding and to think they may have slightly overreacted to me taking it without permission, which in my view I had since I was given it by a staff member. BTW we've only been with the nursery a few months so don't know all the rules yet(they only go once a week)

OP posts:

morningpaper · 13/09/2008 07:43

oh people are funny about the nursery bear

you really DO have to return it on time

Children go hysterical if they think it is coming with them on holiday, and they don't get it

Original poster

Eddas · 13/09/2008 07:48

i do understand that, that wasn't my question. I didn't want the bear. I didn't steal it, or take it without persmission. They are quite aware we only atten on fridays and weren't going yo be there the next week.

OP posts:

morningpaper · 13/09/2008 07:51

Ermmmmm well one of your questions was "AIBU to wonder who on earth would want to take the bloody bear to a wedding ?"

I wouldn't worry about it, in the scheme of things at nursery it is not something I would worry about.

LynetteScavo · 13/09/2008 07:52

They over reacted.I would point out to the manager that again, that you did not take it with out permission.

Never heard of the bear being "booked" before!

Original poster

Eddas · 13/09/2008 07:56

i understand the child got annoyed, but tbh i can't fathom why any parent would book the nursery bear for a wedding. I really can't. Surely if you are attending a wedding you have enough to worry about. Anyway. The real question was about the newsletter comment. Maybe the member of staff that gave the bear to me hadn't owned up to giving it and they assumed I took it. Yep I regularly take things which aren't mine! But since I had informed the manager a week ago that I had been given it, surely the newsletter comment was OTT. That's my point. It's made me feel I have done something I shouldn't have. I find taking dc to the nursery stressful enough as dd creates everytime we go(they know this) so they are not making me feel very welcome, as a new parent to the nursery.

I will not be taking any bears/hamsters or anything else home now that's for sure.

OP posts:

LynetteScavo · 13/09/2008 08:10

Do they give you a book to scribble what the bear had done when you are already late for nursery write up what bear has done? I expect the wedding mum wanted to show off her DD was being bridesmaid or something

Original poster

Eddas · 13/09/2008 08:19

no there was no book, not that i was given anyway! maybe the child was a bridesmaid or something, i still think it's weird. But that's just my opinion.

OP posts:

AbbaFan · 13/09/2008 08:35

That is all a bit OTT and I would have been totally pissed off with the newsletter comment.

YANBU - they should of told you the rules when giving you the 'bear'.

SlartyBartFast · 13/09/2008 08:38

some parents are totally OTT about nursery/school bear. photos etc., etc., putting other parents to shame.
and what happened to you is extremely annoying

LynetteScavo · 13/09/2008 08:39

It's not as if you lost the bear, is it?

SlartyBartFast · 13/09/2008 08:42

it is the nursery's fault, isnt it. a worker gave it to you and no one else knew. and she didnt do it properly with the book etc.,
did they write the newsletter while you were away..

belgo · 13/09/2008 08:45

That comment in the newsletter would annoy me so much! It's incredibly petty, and I know it's really not worth losing sleep over, but it's one of those things that I would find hard to laugh off!

Original poster

Eddas · 13/09/2008 08:47

maybe i don't 'get it' because dd has never been bothered about these things! They used to have one at preschool(seems to have disappeared since the new manager came!) and dd brought it hame a couple of times, but wasn't interested in it. The preschool said they had the bear for connecting preschool to home but IME all it does is create a situation where the parent has to faff about writing notes in a book and forcing the bear on a child who couldn't care less!

We didn't lose the bear.

I feel like kidnapping it and sending ransom notes but I won't

Thankyou all. I'm not going to mention the newsletter to the nursery as i don't want to turn it into an issue. I might suggest they lock it away so he doesn't get lost in future or maybe tell the staff the rules I was just when i read it this morning. I will steer clear of him from now on.

OP posts:

Original poster

Eddas · 13/09/2008 08:50

belgo, that's the thing thats annoyed me. Why mention it in the bloody newsletter!

slarty, i think maybe they did write it whilst we were away. I was wondering how she knew we had the bear when we spoke on the phone, but rethinking the conversation, i think maybe they'd asked other parents and I was the last one to try. Am that the worker didn't bloomin own up to giving it to me

OP posts:

eandh · 13/09/2008 08:50

LOL I read the title and thought it would be the infamous bear (or another particulary OTT nursery!!)

For the amount they charge they should have enbough money to have a spare bear for these occasions!

PS Only getting rid of E tonight they aren't having H

Original poster

Eddas · 13/09/2008 08:54

hi eandh, I wasn't that bothere until the newsletter! cheek!

at least they are having one of them for you H doesn't talk as much as E, so the better way round

OP posts:

Original poster

Eddas · 13/09/2008 08:55

and I may suggest a spare bear, only you would think of it, Mrs Organised ooo maybe a new nickname for you or Mrs Superorganised my be even more accurate how's the packing going

OP posts:

eandh · 13/09/2008 11:43

LOL I havent got the suitcases down yet - will do tonight when H in bed. Just glad to read that they are def running the direct train to disney

Breakfast was lovely but I'm stuffed

Mumi · 13/09/2008 11:58

I would ask them to put a correction to "X went AWOL" in the next newsletter

CostaRicanCod · 13/09/2008 11:59

what a pile of twattery

chapstickchick · 13/09/2008 11:59

you would think that nursery would have 'twin bears' theres obviously going to be occasions when more than 1 child is having exciting weekends -dont they have a poster up saying where the bear is and what hes doing?

chapstickchick · 13/09/2008 12:00

i double dare you to take a picture of the bear with a fruit shoot and a greggs sausage roll for your profile!!!

nickytwotimes · 13/09/2008 12:01

Pmsl at he feckin bear.
Is this what I have to look forward to next year when ds is 3, lol?
Bet he'd havve looked smashing in the wedding photos though...

Original poster

Eddas · 13/09/2008 12:02

mumi, i did think about asking them to do that

cod, thanks for that!

chapstick, i agree that more than one bear would be better. Wouldn't want a child getting upset, lol. They don't have a poster for him. They have one for the hamster. The bear seems to have a diary

OP posts:

LuLuMacGloo · 13/09/2008 12:09

I'm not a confrontational person but the newsletter business would mightily piss me off and I wouldn't be able to rest until I'd got the last word on it.

I would write a short polite note 'apologising' for any misunderstanding but firmly re-iterate that you did NOT take the bleedin' bear without permission but had it foisted upon you by a member of staff. Conclude with the helpful suggestion that the nursery might want to formalise their bear issuing procedures in future so as to avoid unnecessary upset to all concerned.

This kind of noncy nursery attitude really gets up my nose. And yes, I do have PMT.

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