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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect the nursery not to have lost DS's comfort teddy?

33 replies

CJMommy · 10/09/2008 20:04

Am a bit pissed off about it to be honest......well, a lot pissed off actually . It's only his 3rd day there and it's the one DS goes to sleep with and has when he's upset. They said that they will look for it tomorrow but what do I say/do if they can't find it?

I realise that this is not the end of the world but they were the ones that said to bring it in to help him settle and now they can't find it! I went back to the shop that I brought it from a while ago so that I could have a 'spare' if it did get lost but they don't sell them anymore.

I'm sure he will find another comforter in time but how would you react to this? All opinions welcome (honest ).

OP posts:
spudballoo · 10/09/2008 20:08

Oh poor little chap, and poor you too!

Tough one. On the one hand ... if it's so precious then don't take it to nursery because things do get lost...but, on the other, he's new and he's settling in, and they said it would be good to bring it in....so they jolly well should have kept a close eye on it!

On balance I think you're not being unreasonable.

Take heart, things DO generally turn up.

Apart from the thieving swines who half-inched my son's brand new Monsoon top. Grrr. Note to self: do not send children to nursery in fancy kit.

Hope it turns up! x

Sidge · 10/09/2008 20:10

I think these things happen in nursery. Other children walk off with your child's things - clothes, comforters etc. It must be very hard for the staff to keep tabs on all the cuddly toys if lots of children bring them in.

I can see why it's a pain, but I would be more interested in how much effort they put in to finding it! It's probably been tidied up with all the other toys and they'll find it in the morning

JuneBugJen · 10/09/2008 20:14

Sorry, but no home toys are allowed at our nursery. Its the rules Im afraid, obviously due to this problem.

Would pref for staff to be looking after my dcs rather than looking for toys. If it is that precious, dont send it in!

Sorry he doesnt have it though...my dd would expire if she didnt have her purple kitty!

blithedance · 10/09/2008 20:18

It does happen - but the child does get over it! We lost DS2's teddy a few weeks ago, I was amazed how quickly he transferred his affection to another one.

Once we lost a "Brum" toy car that had been a special gift from a cousin who took it in hospital, etc. Lost it at an Early Years Centre - never found, despite a lot of return trips, searching, phone calls. I can't imagine where it went, but really we learnt our lesson there.

Original poster
CJMommy · 10/09/2008 20:19

I'm sure it has been tidied away, Sidge, and yes it is a pain, but then I do understand that they can't keep their eyes on all the toys.

It just makes my heart sink a little, more so in light of the fact that I had to have a meeting with the manager before he even started, about the nursery nurses and there lack of interest at our first settling in session...they didn't ask me anything about his food, drink, routine, allergies, milk etc. they only said to bring in a pack of nappies and that was it (even though we had already discussed that we would be using reusable nappies!). The manager apologised profusely and said that they should have filled in an information sheet, which they didn't....it's just another little thing, which makes me feel a little less comfortable leaving him there

OP posts:
Original poster
CJMommy · 10/09/2008 20:21

Junebugjen...I agree and I was reluctant to send it in but they said it would help him settle. Oh well, we'll see if it turns up (and if it does, it won't be sent in again!)

OP posts:
wilkos · 10/09/2008 20:24

what does it look like? you never know someone on here might have an unloved spare one he can have!

theSuburbanDryad · 10/09/2008 20:29

If you're not happy with leaving your baby there then don't leave him there. Sorry to be blunt but this is how crappy nurseries get away with being crappy and it winds me up.

Original poster
CJMommy · 10/09/2008 20:31

Thanks Wilkos. It was a little horse-type animal, green and cream with babyfarm written on it, think it was from Mothercare.

OP posts:
Original poster
CJMommy · 10/09/2008 20:31

Thanks Wilkos. It was a little horse-type animal, green and cream with babyfarm written on it, think it was from Mothercare.

OP posts:
bluemousemummy · 10/09/2008 20:31

I actually don't see why they can't keep track of where toys are. At our nursery all the toys, materials etc are categorised and labelled to the point of obsession, but at least it feels organised - which is part of what they are paid for after all. What did they say to you? Any decent human being would help you to have a proper look around for it when you collected him.

Original poster
CJMommy · 10/09/2008 20:40

They had a look around for 5 mins and then said 'we don't know where it is, awww poor little chap, he does love that toy. Do you think he will be alright without it?' What was I supposed to say??they were all packed up ready to go home. I just said that I would appreciate it if they found it tomorrow. But what do I say if they can't find it? Do I brush it off and say, oh well? Be angry or what?

OP posts:
bluemousemummy · 10/09/2008 20:54

I think given everything else you have said about them as well it might be a good idea to look around for another nursery.

Am very sympathetic re lost toy as ds lost his some months ago - fortunately we managed to find an almost identical replacement the next day and I now have several spares in a cupboard!! Have you had a look on ebay?

Original poster
CJMommy · 10/09/2008 20:57

I might look on E-bay, thanks. There are plenty of nurseries in the area but I'm trying not 'over react'

OP posts:
Shoegazer · 10/09/2008 20:58

My DD took her beloved Pingu in with her when she was settling in to nursery and her nursery never lost him even though he clearly did the rounds of the nursery and got in the paint and taken into the garden etc. They have a home toys box and anything they find gets put in there so you can check it if DC doesn't have the toy you sent them in with so YANBU.

bluemousemummy · 10/09/2008 21:06

I don't think you are overreacting given the other things you have said about the nursery - it seems symptomatic of a general lack of care and interest tbh.

I have had a quick look on google, mothercare, ebay for you but no luck so far...

bluemousemummy · 10/09/2008 21:10

there is a donkey on ebay by Lucky Farm - is that similar??

cgi.ebay.co.uk/LUCKY-FARM-DONKEY-SOFT-CUDDLY-TOY-BY-HAPPY-HORSE-13560_W0QQitemZ3700825742 11QQcmdZViewItem?hash=item370082574211&trkparms=72%3A1121%7C39%3A1%7C66%3A2%7C65%3A12%7C240%3A1318& trksid=p3286.c0.m14

Original poster
CJMommy · 10/09/2008 21:16

Not really Blue MM but thank you so much for looking , that's really kind of you! I've looked on the same sites but not found anything. Hey ho! Will see what happens tomorrow? I suppose it's always possible that another child has taken it home by mistake?

OP posts:
FourArms · 10/09/2008 21:16

If they can't find it tomorrow, then you can only presume it went home with someone else. I would be asking for a note to go home with all children to ask people to check for it.

Home toys and a very special comforter are two different things IMO. They shouldn't have lost it.

Lilyloo · 10/09/2008 21:21

I still remember when i was a nursery nurse and we took the dc's for a walk in the pram and one of our lo's lost her comforter.
We felt so dreadful and retraced our steps but to no avail.
Sadly this happens and if it was left at nursery it will turn up.
Sadly these things happen when you are taking care of lot's of lo's and i am not sure it's a reason to judge a nursery and their quality of care. IMO.

Original poster
CJMommy · 10/09/2008 21:22

That's a good idea FourArms. I think I may do that if they haven't found it by the time i pick him up tomorrow night.

OP posts:
ethanchristopher · 10/09/2008 21:24

try ebay if you cant find one

or advertise for one on MN

i know its frustrating, will probably turn up soon if not tomorrow

bluemousemummy · 10/09/2008 21:28

I think it's a bit different to lose something when out and about, to losing it within the nursery itself. Shoegazer's nursery seem to have a sensible system that works! Also CJ isn't 100% happy with this nursery anyway so it's not an isolated incident.

CJ you have you post tomorrow and let us know if they find it!

Califrau · 10/09/2008 21:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
CJMommy · 10/09/2008 22:34

Some very good points Califrau. Thank you all for your thoughts. I shall let you know tomorrow whether it is found or not.
Nighty Night

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