To think that social services are soulless thoughtless C***S!

[Kneehighinnappies]

I am appalled if not sickened at the way social services are treating close friends of mine.
This may be long winded as I need to vent!

9 years ago a friends of the family was sent to prison for child abuse.
He smacked his SD round the back of the legs with a cane.
There were many other things that all led to this point, but I'm not going to go I'm not that as it isn't really what this is about.

I don't condone what he did one bit, but he served his time a built a new life for himself.
He married a lovely woman and they had a DS 4 months ago.
All the time his DW was pregnant social services were poking their noses in, which I can understand given the conviction he has, but things have now got to the point that they are trying to take is DS away!
Even though they have done NOTHING wrong!!!!

He already had a DS with his previous girlfriend and he was taken into care along with his SD.

The thing that I really don't understand is how the hell can social services think that taking a baby away from a woman who has never done anything, or even been involved in things that went on in the past is a good idea.
It's bad enough that they have said that he has to move out, which he has done, but they are still not happy enough with that and are now after the poor womans child!
All she has done is fallen in love with a man and had a child with him, surely there is no crime in that and the child should remain with her!

As for him, he served his time 9 years ago surely that is enough?
I mean I could understand if he had had previous convictions etc or had done something recently, but it has been 9 years he knows what he did was wrong and he has paid for it, why are they going after him like this!?!

Apparently they think that he is going to influence his wife into abusing their child when it is older!
As if! The woman has a brain she is a deputy head at a private school so is not the type of person who would be influenced easily, if at all.

They are even going to his employers and telling them that they should fire him and telling them all about the case they have as he works at a school (in the evenings teaching adults) and he 'may' come into contact with children!!!!
The poor bloke won't even be able to stack shelves in a supermarket by the time social services have finished with him.

They have already told his DW school all about him, even though he doesn't work there, and can't get onto the site through all the security there.

They are destroying this couples life and they will end up broke as they can't even have the same solicitor.

I think this whole case is DISGUSTING it make me feel sick that an innocent woman,mother can be treated like this!

no, onager, that was in response to you saying that no headmasters and teachers were being tracked down

FWIW, my sister was hit once at school my a teacher, my parents went straight to the school as they were furious, and the teacher came to our house to apologise

it was unecessary and inhumane and humiliating for teachers to hit pupils

it is horrific for a parent to beat a child with a cane , there is no excuse

Sorry KVC I haven't been able to read all the message, but thank you for the advice

Fair enough. So you'd agree that let's say 70% of teachers who worked before the law change are vile despicable perverts

I don't want to defend the guy in the OP who may well be a monster, but I wanted to get it into perspective. Many quite reasonable people still think it's perfectly ok to smack/cane children. They may be wrong, but are not automatically evil.

my friend works in child protection, she says it is soooo difficult getting a child removed.
they would not do it without proper concern for the childs safety, your friend is with a man who has abused children.there will be concern.

Wow, this thread is moving fast!

AFAIA if you are a witness on a case you aren't given the case notes, that would jeopardise the whole case as people can cross reference what was said by other witnesses. What a ridiculous thing to say. Yes, even more weirder! Besides which you are talking about files and files of papers, that's boring for a professional to have to read through!

You would not get 9 years in prison for smacking a child once on the back of the legs (even with a cane) in the heat of the moment. Actually it happened to me, I was hit with a walking stick by my uncle rather hard on my hip joint. He had picked me and my sister up from GB, when it was just me I was allowed to walk so I didn't (nor my parents) count it as me being picked up. He was having a go at me so I said "blow this, I'm walking myself home" and picked up pace. He lashed out with his stick (I ran the rest of the way and collapsed in pain at home). Social services did get involved as I spoke with my form tutor, he wasn't arrested for it and not much really came of it. They're now trying to find something to convict him of as he has abused two more (that have come forward) children (who are now 20s) and they're not sure those two are strong enough to go through court (although their case is easily strong enough for conviction).

To the OP - well yes as it happens but not in litigation

and do social workers get an apology from you for calling them cunts?

Thank you for taking an open minded view on this onager

and do social workers get an apology from you for calling them cunts-ahem I called them C*S Could be anything.. and I'm sorry to all the social workers who I have offended who are not involved in this case.

onager, i never said anyone was a vile despicable pervert. please don;t attribute such things to me.

i have a big issue with a man who beats a child with a cane, enough to cause enough damage to warrant a custodial sentence

i do not agree with corporal punishment. i do not agree with teachers who used canes or shoes or trainers to hit children, whether it was legal then or not.

Sure it could be anything, I think we all knew what you meant. Anyway, pleased to see that you have apologised, as I think it was pretty vile. Some of my best friends are social workers...

Kneehigh - it's not a matter of being open minded or not.
I don't know if SS are being reasonable or not, but to be honest regarding your friend it hardly matters. If she wants to kepp her baby she has to protect the child first and argue afterwards.

"You can't help who you fall in love with" Ahhh, bless. Actually I agree, I fell in love with a little girl the moment she was placed in my arms, I really couldn't help it and I would kill for her, if I thought her father was a risk or I would lose her if he stayed, he would be out before he could blink! I don't and haven't loved anyone as deeply as that.

Men come and go, children - believe me, a mother of an angel - do not.

"So you'd agree that let's say 70% of teachers who worked before the law change are vile despicable perverts"

Onager I do not understand your logic. I have not said that teachers who caned before the law change were vile or despicable. They were in fact acting perfectly within the law and according to the cultural norms of the time.

However for anyone to have had a custodial sentence for child abuse, the issue must have been actually pretty serious and disturbing. I have no clue what this man (if he exists) has done, and nor am I likely to find out. But if he had a custodial sentence then the issue was very likely to be something above and beyond a smack.

You are quite right litchick

thank you quatt, for articulating what i was trying to say !

i also have a friend who is a social worker, the least souless, thoughtless c*nt you could ever meet

if you have been on MN for more than 5 minutes, you will know that nasty sweeping generalisations are not a good thing.

I have worked with Social Workers for over 10 years now, and with NO exception, they were dedicated to their work and had the welfare of children uppermost in their minds. The thread title is very offensive and ridiculous.

SS's do their utmost to keep children with their families but will intercede if there is a definate threat of abuse happening, and quite rightly so. Children need protecting, and if they can't get that from the people who should protect them (their parents) then thank goodness for Social Workers. They get a lot of bad press when it comes to protecting children, and they do miss ones who need help on occasion, but I wouldn't wish to have their job any day of the week.They're damned if they do and damned if they don't.

I apologise for the title it was a mean sweeping statement written in the heat of the moment, so sorry can we drop it now...

KneeHigh having worked with SW i can tell you they are overall professional,hardworking,undervalued and derided

damned if they do intervene
damned if they dont

you need to go have a think about your friend who beats a child and subsequently received a penal sentence.case proven beyond reasonable doubt then.frankly he should not be in contact with vulnerable children. i would complain if a convicted abuser had employment with my child

any job applications will show his CRB enhanced schek as penal sentence received. Childcare etc are exempt from "spent" convictions even cautions show up

I agree that a custodial sentence does indicate the offence must have been serious but I do also think that people , well at least some people, do change. Everyone should be given the chance to prove that they've changed but obviously after the child has been protected.

I didn't see the bit about him working in a school. OK, he's teaching adults, but what if an adult takes their child into school because they can't get childcare (I went to college with Mum quite a bit) or there is a vulnerable adult there?

The law is the law and it doesn't matter who you are you abide by it. How can it be proven that he is never going to hurt another child? That he won't "snap" again? If the law lets him off cause he's really, really sorry and "I pwomise I won't do it again" then what about all the other abusers out there?

If a friend stole from your house would you be happy to let them come round? Would you go to the toilet and leave them in the room alone? Would you watch them walk to the bathroom when they went themself? What if they went to prison, would that make it OK and you'd trust them again?

I liaise with ss every working day and complete reports for child protection conferences as well as attend them.

In our district (it does vary) teh threshold for significant harm is way too high IMO. Every sw has the overarching objective in their appraisals of REDUCING the number of looked after children.

They try thei best but it really is esceptional for children to be placed in care without a thorough and I mean thorough work up.

Took me from October to March and and the yp taking 3 overdoses to get one of my patients removed from her Mums care under the category of emotional abuse.

I'd imagine the risk assessments that have been undertaken indicate this man still poses a significant risk of harm.

the media perpetuates this sw bashing culture and it's extremely irritating. like any profession there are good ones and bad ones and a lot of it depends who's on duty when you call the duty out of hours line.

mistakes have been made but there's been a huge shake up of child protection policy since Victoria Climbie and IME everyone is doing thei best in difficult times.

Apols for typos

But Onager:

• It is perhaps because so many people still find it 'normal' that it is so hard to get a conviction for it. Isn't it within the last 10 years that a 9 year-old had to go to the European courts because the UK court declined to find it unnacceptable that his step father beat him with a cane? So for this man to have been given a custodial sentence, it must have been pretty extreme.

And at least 10 years after hitting children in schools had been made illegal.