To think that social services are soulless thoughtless C***S!

[Kneehighinnappies]

I am appalled if not sickened at the way social services are treating close friends of mine.
This may be long winded as I need to vent!

9 years ago a friends of the family was sent to prison for child abuse.
He smacked his SD round the back of the legs with a cane.
There were many other things that all led to this point, but I'm not going to go I'm not that as it isn't really what this is about.

I don't condone what he did one bit, but he served his time a built a new life for himself.
He married a lovely woman and they had a DS 4 months ago.
All the time his DW was pregnant social services were poking their noses in, which I can understand given the conviction he has, but things have now got to the point that they are trying to take is DS away!
Even though they have done NOTHING wrong!!!!

He already had a DS with his previous girlfriend and he was taken into care along with his SD.

The thing that I really don't understand is how the hell can social services think that taking a baby away from a woman who has never done anything, or even been involved in things that went on in the past is a good idea.
It's bad enough that they have said that he has to move out, which he has done, but they are still not happy enough with that and are now after the poor womans child!
All she has done is fallen in love with a man and had a child with him, surely there is no crime in that and the child should remain with her!

As for him, he served his time 9 years ago surely that is enough?
I mean I could understand if he had had previous convictions etc or had done something recently, but it has been 9 years he knows what he did was wrong and he has paid for it, why are they going after him like this!?!

Apparently they think that he is going to influence his wife into abusing their child when it is older!
As if! The woman has a brain she is a deputy head at a private school so is not the type of person who would be influenced easily, if at all.

They are even going to his employers and telling them that they should fire him and telling them all about the case they have as he works at a school (in the evenings teaching adults) and he 'may' come into contact with children!!!!
The poor bloke won't even be able to stack shelves in a supermarket by the time social services have finished with him.

They have already told his DW school all about him, even though he doesn't work there, and can't get onto the site through all the security there.

They are destroying this couples life and they will end up broke as they can't even have the same solicitor.

I think this whole case is DISGUSTING it make me feel sick that an innocent woman,mother can be treated like this!

you have seen the case notes?
Like I said my WHOLE family were very closely involved in the first case, to the point where my sister and I were in fact interviewed and had to give evidence at the trial along with my parents.
Not so weird now?

that fact that you are now justifying his behaviour which was severe enough for him to get a custodial sentance says it all to me-
I am not trying to justify it, all I am saying is there have been hundreds of cases where parents have snapped, so I can see how it happens,as sadly it does.

wind up and troll. Has to be.

Xpost with OP

I think you are identifying too much with your friend to see how very questionable their behaviour is.

You have to admit that hooking up with a child abuser is a very odd thing to do, quite apart from the fact that the chap in question left two children to the mercies of the care system.

You seem not to realise that it is TOTALLY inappropriate for a convicted child abuser to be working in a school. You start a thread on that and see what parents on this site think.

You are accusing SS of victimisation because his ex has a cousin who is a social worker? That's just ridiculous.

You need some perspective, really you do.

I would also be very interested in Kneehigh's answer to the question posed several times now. How did you come to see the confidential casenotes? Unless someone stole them or there was some other mishap, I am very that you had access to them.

Even if your friend had (perhaps) minutes or some of the meetings or whatever, as I understand things even he wouldn't have had the full casenotes.

he beat his child and got a custodial sentence

surely social services have a right, a duty and obligation to make sure any children in his care are safe

what if he snaps again?

No judgement, just practicalities. She needs to comply fully with SS and bend over backwards to make it very clear that she is complying. He needs to get a good lawyer and challenge the decision. If they believe the child is at risk- whether or not it actually is- her sticking by him and challenging SS could be interpreted as her being complicit it any possible abuse. It sounds f*ing crazy, but as you've said they've already reacted badly t her being 'defensive' towards her HV and SW.

Yes, yes you have said that you and your family were "closely involved" we understand that. But what about the case notes?

Snapping is giving a child a quick smack on the bum when you have lost your temper and your control of a situation, this happens to the best of parents.

Taking a cane and hitting a child so badly you are imprisoned is not 'snapping', it is abuse, and the fact that he was able to go and get a cane in the first place suggests premeditation.

Are u 100% sure there is not more to this I was put in care as my father and Step mother beat me with canes etc from the age of 6 and they never were sent to prision in actual fact they are both childminders in Letchworth have been since I was young I know they still are as they are on the childminder thing online

I know from another friend that someone we both knew had 3 kids and was going out with a Peado and SS took her children away after warning her loads of times that the children were not allowed to be around this guy and her still allowing him near the kids

Not sure all the facts are known here as others have said.

Personally believe that most social workers are probaby doing the best they can with extremely limited support and resources. Like any profession though I am sure it does attract some bad apples.

However it does seem to me that the majority of these cases where children are removed for what appears to be no good reason (not saying at all that this is the case here - definitely more to this story) involve newborn or extremely young children. It does make me wonder.

"He smacked his SD round the back of the legs with a cane."

That's not 'smacking' - that's beating. I have no idea what the reasons behind SS's actions might be, but the way you talk of what he did ('not condoning' is miles and miles away from 'totally condemning') makes me not able to take your credentials as an objective commentator o this story seriously.

A deputy head will be very very well versed in child protection - and will have had professional dealings with ss too, so I would have thought she would know how to prevent her child being taken away. As others have said - stopping contact with a child-beater would be the most obvious.

I would find a man who beats children with canes, a huge turn off.

Was you 'just venting' or expecting us to agree with you?

Let?s just remember for a start that social services don?t remove babies, that?s like saying police put people in jail! There is a whole process, they make their case with the involvement of many other professionals to the courts and the courts make the decision, they?re not actually always in favour of the social workers as has been seen in some famous cases recently, but that bit gets downplayed.

I seriously doubt they would be going to his employer, that?s totally illegal, unless he is working with children, which is why they are probably telling her school in case he comes into the school.

It doesn?t matter how long it?s been since he abused a child, he is a child abuser and if he spent the rest of his life in jail he would still be a child abuser. What would the papers be saying if they didn?t investigate him and then a child died? It would be the social workers held to blame (just like with Victoria Climbie) not the courts or any other person involved in the case. It makes me so angry that social workers are treated like they are as though they work alone with no other professional (GP, HV, MW, paediatricians, courts etc) involved.

I think PinkTulips has summed things up well. The mother is more concerned about protecting her partner than her child, that?s why social workers have taken things further and asked for court orders.

Hi KHIN
I'm afraid I agree that there's probably more to this than is apparent on the surface
Can we please stop the troll comments?

Perhaps the OP is all invented, but am amazed at some of the comments. I was hit by a cane in school as were most of the kids. It was considered normal then. I don't want to encourage it, but I don't see the police tracking down my old headmaster or headmistress. (there was one incident with each) Nor the PE teacher who beat us with a trainer.

But here people feel that anyone who marries someone who once had a conviction for smacking a child with a cane deserves to lose her children and that standing up for the rights of someone who was once convicted of using a cane is 'bizarre'

Maybe I am wrong and we should go to the police. There must be thousands of teachers still alive that we can have locked up and put on the register. If they have since died we can persecute any surviving wives/husbands on the same basis.

that was before corporal punishment was illegal

Was you 'just venting' or expecting us to agree with you-Just venting, but hoping that some one would understand that there is a hell of alot more to this than I am willing to put on here.#
Would have liked to have had some advice for the mother, but hey...You can't help who you fall in love with

I'm afraid I agree that there's probably more to this than is apparent on the surface
Can we please stop the troll comments?-Thanks SPB

lulamuma, so if the law were changed to make it legal you'd be ok with someone who did it? As easy as that?

Onager - If your teachers did hit you with a cane that was presumably because it was legal then. I seriously doubt that this man's offence was restricted to a "smack" btw - very unlikely to receive a custodial sentence for a smack. In fact I would think impossible.

So Quattroceto, your a lawyer I presume?

I was a lawyer doing this type of work for ten years and I came across this again and again.
IF SS are breathing down a woman's neck about a partner then my advice was always to get rid. The whys and wherefors can be argued later. If SS have got it wrong you can show that AFTER you have protected your child.
Am sure your friend has already had this advice from her lawyer - can't believe she doesn't have one if SS have been making serious moves towards removal.