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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that newbies should be allowed to start threads that may have been discussed before without backlash

109 replies

cookinmama · 09/09/2008 11:06

I am a longtime lurker on MN and have really been getting annoyed that when a thread is started that may have been discussed before there are immediately a whole load of posts saying this has been done before. Do these posters not realise that if they had seen the original they wouldn't have started the new one and want helpful comments rather than the curt - its been done before!

OP posts:
QuintessentialShadow · 09/09/2008 12:45

Who would volunteer to be a mentor?
(Not me.)

Tortington · 09/09/2008 12:48

i would. i would also have the power to revoke their right to post should they post things such as " my cross stitch was wrong"

MmeLindt · 09/09/2008 12:50

There are polite ways of saying "that has been done before" or just ignore the thread. And sometimes you just don't want to search the archives, bloody boring.

There are always going to be newcomers to MN who debate something that has been debated up and down the board.

Sometimes there is a little nugget of info from a new poster that helps another person. When someone joins MN there might be something that she can bring to the discussion that has not been discussed before, especially if it is a specific topic such as BLW (Aitch) or speech therapy (Moondog) or even style (Mrs Badger).

I feel like an inbetweeny actually, no longer a newbie but not a bus-pass-carrying-MN-OAP.

QuintessentialShadow · 09/09/2008 12:50

Yes, or "my cross stitch was upside down, and now my picture on the cushion is too" to avoid people posting daft replies such as duurrrr, turn the cushion upside down then...

NappiesGalore · 09/09/2008 12:52

i find the archives a total pita btw! cant ever find anything i want... get sucked into hours of reading irrelvent old threads... tis MUCH easier to start a new one ime...

cookinmama · 09/09/2008 12:52

NG - it wasn't about being upset it was wether or not the comments were warranted in the first place. If the posters have nothing to add other than - yawn this is boring - what is the point in them posting on the thread at all?
It's not being precious or delicate none of these comments have kept me awake at night it is just why do they do it at all?

OP posts:
MmeLindt · 09/09/2008 12:53

Nappies
That is true, I trip over some old thread about poos in memorable places and before I turn around the afternoon has passed and I have to rush around tidying up so that DH won't notice I have been on MN all afternoon

NappiesGalore · 09/09/2008 12:59

ok, i get that point cookin. and i kind of agree insomuch as i would just not bother posting if a thread bored me... but i dont go so far as to be bothered by others doing it. i just think theres so much else to worry about in life without allowing oneself to be negatively affected by the opinions of total strangers who wont have even thought about your thread for more than a second or two...

mmelindt - yeah - and i always want to post on it too... then remember its well old and ive just wasted an hour reading something no-one is even discussing anymore!

mrswotzisnotin · 09/09/2008 13:06

I think I will be agreeing with 2shoes all week.
I'm just too late to add anything of use.

I agree it is rude and not necessary, just makes the poster look like a complete numbnuts.

Chat away, and if you have done it before and see the thread, click hide, don't comment.

Worse still, don't post 'clicks hide thread' that is so rude.

ScottishMummy · 09/09/2008 14:23

this notion of "newbie" is bitty offensive.anyone who can identify newbie needs to get out more

how can one distinguish between newbie and ole timer just by name?when so many people post daily.

yes i recognise some names but wouldnt necessarily recognise anyone as being new

Anna8888 · 09/09/2008 14:27

YANBU - threads are conversations. Are all conversations all the world over brand new and original? It's quite all right if a very similar conversation takes place to a previous conversation and if you don't want to join in, there is nothing forcing you. Just ignore the threads that don't interest you (for whatever reason).

Kewcumber · 09/09/2008 14:30

i have refered people to previous threads if I thought they'd been done before. Saw no reason to get het up about it, I save that for WOHM/SAHM threads and have only a limited amount of energy to spare after those.

Kewcumber · 09/09/2008 14:31

I can only identify newvies that either

a) admit it in their first post in a desparate attempt to be spared a mauling OR;
b) start a thread on something which has been covered 117 times in the past 12 months.

ScottishMummy · 09/09/2008 14:37

you need to get out more that that you can distinguish ole timer
is 117 randomly arrived at or a kewCumber formula

ScottishMummy · 09/09/2008 14:37

you need to get out more that that you can distinguish ole timer
is 117 randomly arrived at or a kewCumber formula

filthymindedvixen · 09/09/2008 14:45

Look. Newbies. Your role is to bring something new and exciting to MN to keep us old farts from getting bored.

Now, Dance for us. DANCE!!!

plantsitter · 09/09/2008 14:46

I don't think there are any new conversations ever, in RL or on MN. So saying you've had the same convo with someone else before (and therefor cannot possibly have another one) is not only rude but a bit pointless. It's like saying 'I will only talk to you if you can tell me something BRAND NEW that I have NEVER heard before. Otherwise you are boring and please go away.' If you refused to ever again talk about, say, the weather in RL you would never get any new friends and I don't suppose mumsnet is any different.

Kewcumber · 09/09/2008 14:46

117 is the result of a well known MN formula. But only shared with Oldbies after they have gone through the ceremony of the "prolific posters who have no life" and completed the initiation task, sorry.

Earlybird · 09/09/2008 15:09

Of course everyone has the right to post about whatever they want, no matter how many times we've had the same question/variation of. And people should not be rude to those who ask questions.

However, if someone wants the best advice, it often would benefit them far more to spend an hour searching the archives. Those of us who have been here a long time are familiar with who the 'experts'/especially knowledgeable Mumsnetters are on certain subjects - be it MMR, nanny questions, good reading books for children, school admissions, housing authority, where to rent a flat in Paris, benefit information, remodeling a kitchen, Kumon, what to do in London with children, etc., etc, etc. Those posters have often posted thoughtfully, eloquently and helpfully in the past, and will not be inclined to post essentially the same information over and over.

For instance, sometimes I will see a thread by a newbie on a 'familiar topic' and think 'ooh, they need X on this thread because she can tell them exactly what they need to know' - but if X has posted several/many times before on the same sort of thread, she is less likely to repeat herself.

So, the most helpful, informative and authoritative information is often to be found in the archives. And the person asking would be best served by looking there. Obviously it might not give the same online 'interaction', but that is another angle....

ScottishMummy · 09/09/2008 15:14

mumsnet initiation!LOL chicken bones,smoke, incantations,shouting no huns here

my initiation into MN fickleness and down right argumentativeness was laughing on a thread about a schleb baby name (along with 500+) posters. some biscuit arse rocked up started being really mean "who do you think you are laughing at anyone baby name...and really attacking and snippy

i thought woah and reminded her to go have a word with the 500+ also laughing

MikeRotch · 09/09/2008 15:34

wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwoH
sint parcark pent up wiht anti fish anger.

Hulababy · 09/09/2008 15:57

MN would be a very quiet please if some thread topics were not repeated several times over.

padboz · 09/09/2008 15:59

I can see your point totally earlybird, and agree on all the specific topics you mentioned. However my concern is with the yawns and 'you don't fit in here' comments in CHAT. Chat is just chat. People should be able to babble to one another meaninglessly to build friendships - virtual or otherwise.

At the risk of being a total ponce on this chat comes higher up Mashlow's hirarchy of need at level 3 (coming under relationships) and telling people they are boring comes at level 4 being dominance and status

Lots of people are on here because they want to meet people and are talking for the sake of talking and there is nothing at all wrong with that. Thats what the chat topic is for surely?

WilfSell · 09/09/2008 16:18

Yeah but if you wanted to be all nice and fluffy and pretend you weren't secretly thinking wash your curtains you dirty bitch or she's got a fat arse hasn't she, you wouldn't be doing it on an internet forum where barriers are down.

It's what we're here for because it isn't like real life and you can say what you like and nobody gets hurt and if you do get hurt by virtual comments then you need to recognise there are different 'rules' here...

MmeLindt · 09/09/2008 16:19

Earlybird
I think that once a MNetter builds a reputation about being knowledgeable in a particular area, then it is flattering for them to be asked their advice from a relatively new poster. I have not often seen anyone refusing to give advice because it has been said before.

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