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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

...to resist the pressure to cut my 2-year old boy's hair so he 'looks like a boy'

124 replies

mummy5bellies · 08/09/2008 14:08

William has beautiful flowing locks, and along with his tiny-featured face is often taken for a little girl. This doesn't bother me at all but friends, family and neighbours seem to have a problem. Whats all the about?

OP posts:

marmadukescarlet · 08/09/2008 19:23

Just put a pic on profile of Ds with long locks aged under 2.

Mummy5bellies, I forget to say welcome! It is a great resource and seriously addictive!

I thought it was obligatory for little surfer dudes to have long hair in your neck of the woods?

nappyaddict · 08/09/2008 23:14

ah that's lovely. i'd like ds' hair like that but it grows so slowly and it's so thin. i have a mobile hairdresser and she says she will do ds' for a few pounds extra at the same time she does mine. most salons will do fringe cuts for free if you get their "proper" haircut done there quite often.

blowsy · 08/09/2008 23:19

My ds2 has shoulder length hair. He looks very cute and trendy. He does get mistaken for a girl, (by old people) but most people love his hair.

nappyaddict · 08/09/2008 23:19

oooh lets see a pic.

lickleolme · 08/09/2008 23:34

Tell them to naff off next time anyone but your dh or ds says anything. Its none of their business.

solidgoldbrass · 08/09/2008 23:39

Oh, take no notice of mundane bucketheads with hang ups about gender fascism. Only cut a child's hair when he/she asks you to or the hair is clearly causing him/her some discomfort or irritation. There's already far too much of a big deal made about branding children with their gender when they are far too young to care.

MariaR · 09/09/2008 01:26

Yes, hair is a delicate thing!
My children (boy and girl) both have wonderful, long hair!
Seing them at a distance, you would take for granted that the girl is a boy and vice versa!
My daughter (aged nine) has brown, straight hair to her shoulders! She´s really a pretty girl but she wants to cut her hair now!
Since she can´t have really long hair like her brother, she wants to cut it short!
But, really she envies her brother so much!
He (age eleven) has the most pretty, girly hair anyone could ask for! Wavy and blonde, it goes all the way down to his but!
And in spite of being teased (not bullied, thank godness!) earlier, he´s nowadays admired for his coolness among the boys (who actually are envy!) AND totally fascinated by the girls in his class!
They take turns, brushing and combing his hair at all breakes!
Now you wonder what I feel about it?
You may think that I should force him to cut his hair?
Never! When he grows up, society wll demand of him to "stand in line" and cut it!
But, until that time comes, let him enjoy it!
Both boys and girls are able to have beautiful hair - why shouldn´t they!?
Maria!

S1ur · 09/09/2008 01:33

Oh I can't read whole thread (very late) and I apologise that I will answer OP.

My ds has lovely curly blonde locks. I cut his fringe so he can see. I know sooner or later I wil cut his hair because the curls will dropp out and the hair will annoy him

But,

For now my 2 year old ds has lovely long blond curls.

UmSami · 09/09/2008 02:22

My ds 2yrs 5 months has long, dark ash blonde, curly hair, it gets cut, but only to maintain optimum curl! He gets mistaken for a girl...I admit it, he's pretty...but he loves his hair, he adores swinging his head from side to side and making it fly...how could I deprive him of that?!

I cut his hair short once, I bowed to pressure and he still looked cute and definately more boyish...but HE missed his hair...never again! (well not til he wants to anyway!)

jsgirl · 09/09/2008 10:37

OMG I'm not alone! DS2 will be 2 in November. He has blond hair which curls at the back. (No idea where from - me, DH and DS1 all have quite dark brown, very straight hair). It's quite thick too. He's got blue eyes and ridiculously long eyelashes and has been mistaken for a girl on many, many occasions. Doesn't bother me in the slightest.

He's had his hair cut a few times because it was getting in his eyes, etc, but he's still got his curls. I think if DH took him to the hairdressers, he would be tempted to ask her to cut it fairly short. The hairdresser, however, told me that she wouldn't touch his curls anyway because they're lovely!

A few (older) members of my family keep going on about how I should get DS2's hair cut. As soon as we had one relatively warm day, my mum was using that as an excuse and saying things like "it's not fair on him is it really? He'll get hot." Not in a nagging way, just a sort of but boys shouldn't have long-ish blond curly hair confused kind of way!

I just think that sooner or later he'll lose his curls anyway, but for now the curls stay!

hopelesshousewife · 09/09/2008 10:53

I think your DS's hair looks gorgeous Marmaduke - my DS is 8 and his hair is about the same length but curly. His friends all think it's really cool, I keep wanting to cut it but he loves it long so much - loads of time to conform when he's older.

I think they grow out of the looking like a girl thing, DS got mistaken all the time until he was six or so, but not now he's growing up.

It's not unusual for boys at his school to have longer hair, personally I don't really like skinhead cuts, but guess that's just the old hippy in me!

rubyloopy · 09/09/2008 11:59

Message withdrawn

PeacefulPat · 09/09/2008 12:01

I think boys with long hair look cute

ZipadiSuzy · 09/09/2008 12:02

my ds1 had ringlets sitting on his shoulders when he was 2.8 and recently when he was 12yo. his nic-name at school is 'curly' he is scrummy and very much a boy, sorry young man! is also very popular with his peers and does not get teased! the girls fancy him. His curls suit his personality!

cheesesarnie · 09/09/2008 12:06

mummy 5 were in cornwall too

we just had ds2 hair cut,not really short but shorter.got soo fed up with whats her name?-t**.ohhhhshes a he.or isnt she beutiful.yes he is!but not just that he did need a tidy up and i admit hes looking stunning!i need to put on newer pics!

3andnomore · 09/09/2008 12:08

YANBU...
like it ever makes a difference anyway...
my kids have no lovely curls, but especially ms looked really pretty as a Baby and despite being dressed like a proper boy , people still asked me how old "she" is!
My friend went to a wedding when her little girl was a Baby, Little girl was dressed in a frilly girly dress....someone came u to her asking her how old her little boy was

keep your little ones curls...people are just

mou · 09/09/2008 12:21

same with my DS, he kept his hair long until he wanted it cut, and in the meantime learned to say 'actually i'm a boy!!!'. peoples reactions to that really funny.

RhinestoneCowgirl · 09/09/2008 12:31

My DS is 2 and has long blond curls. I do trim his fringe every now and then so that it doesn't get in his eyes.

I think it looks sweet and I'm certainly not going to pay someone to cut it for me at the moment (and even more definite that I'm not going to try to cut it properly myself, wriggly toddler, sharp scissors )

Also DH has long hair, so don't understand the boy = short hair thing.

MariaR · 09/09/2008 15:14

Yes, as "rubyloopy" says - why do the boys get the most beautiful hair!?
I´ve tried myself to get my hair more curly but it only last a couple of days - makes me wonder where my son got his lovely Rapunzel-hair!
It´s really soft and shiny! I love to brush it! Sort of silky feeling!
Well, I´m lucky as long he wants it!
MariaR

StealthPolarBear · 09/09/2008 15:28

yanbu my ds has lovely long curly hair. i had it cut to neaten it and get it out of his eyes. people tell me how lovely "she" is all the time!!

Original poster

mummy5bellies · 09/09/2008 17:12

Hi Cheesesarnie! Finally a day of sun here! Thank you too for other welcome messages, and all your comments on my inaugural (sp?) thread. The hair very firmly stays, btw, bugger the crumblies and their short-back-and-sides

OP posts:

cheesesarnie · 10/09/2008 13:20

sorry just seen!yep sunny today!which part are you in?were north cornwall!
yay for flowing locks!

nappyaddict · 10/09/2008 17:31

mummy5 did you put a pic up_

Original poster

mummy5bellies · 12/09/2008 17:12

Not yet, nappy, still navigating the site and learning SLOWLY

OP posts:

Ashantai · 13/09/2008 01:31

My 5 yr son came home yesterday with his hair tied with a rubber band! Ok his hair is quite long but its still shoulder length and thats allowed at his school

At first i was like wtf but then his teacher explained that they had done some cooking and even the girls who had shoulder length hair had theirs tied back.

He's always had beautiful curls and until he wants to cut his hair i'm very happy to keep it this length

He had the usual "aww isnt SHE pretty", even while wearing a tshirt with "DUDE" scrawled over it!, but hey i love boys with long hair and am dreading the day when he wants to cut it

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