Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to by a DS for my 4 year old daughter

89 replies

merryandmad · 07/09/2008 17:30

My dd1 will be four in a couple of weeks. Recently 3 of her little friends have all had DS's for their birthday's. One mum has even commented how hard it is to get games that don't come with text (they can't read yet).
My dd is a September baby, so only just starting nursery- I do not want a DS yet- but at a birthday party today (4 year old boy) his mum was saying proudly that he'd had a DS and had been playing on it all morning).
I could see my DP's mind whizzing - he is a bit techy and brought his 60 year old mum a computer- I don't want him to buy her a DS yet, or a tv/dvd combi yet. What would you say?

OP posts:
Hulababy · 07/09/2008 17:32

If you don't want to get one, don't get one - simple as that. Just 4y is still very young for them - as your friend says, a lot of games inc the ones aimed at preschoolers do have a lot of text.

DD had one from 5y and loves it.

cluckyagain · 07/09/2008 17:34

ds 8 has just been bought one by my ps - I wasn;t going to but there you go! IMHO 8 yrs is about right (if not too young....but then I;m an old meanie!)

Majeika · 07/09/2008 17:34

No! dont do it.

Mine are 6 and 3 and the older one is suddenly getting interested but it is a lot of money and responsibility imho for a young child.

we might look at getting one next year for him.

muggglewump · 07/09/2008 17:37

What about a Leapster as a compromise?
DD got hers at around that age and still plays with it.

AbbaFan · 07/09/2008 17:37

Does you DD actually want one?

It's really upto you what you buy her so YANBU.

We did get our DS a DS for his 4th B-day, as he had been playing on his older brothers for ages, and really wanted one. It definitely was not a case of peer-pressure because none of his friends have one.

He plays it in moderation, so it's not an issue in our house.

TheInvisableManDidIt · 07/09/2008 17:39

think maybe 4's a bit young. What about one of the leapfrog things instead (if they're still about?)

believeintheboogie · 07/09/2008 17:42

My DD has one and has had one since she was four because we travel a lot and it is great for long journeys. She rarely plays with it in the house though but it has been worth its money.

It is your decision though, if you dont want to buy one then dont, yanbu. It is your decision.

teslagirl · 07/09/2008 17:46

Agree. Don't do it. I believe it's up there with a TV and DVD in a child's bedroom! My DSs have had gameboys since the eldest was 8 and that was way soon enough. The youngest, at 7 now has just caught on but we do really strictly police the use of them. I so believe they deaden a young child's mind when oh-so-easily they're used to excess. Try having a conversation with a child who's engrossed! Now, you CAN connect 2 gameboys, and thus almost certainly 2 DS's (Dual Screens, not Dear Sons!) together and that's been OK in that at least the boys have to communicate as they're both playing the same game, but at the end of the day, I think a Wii is a better computer gaming interface in that it can only happen in a family arena and almost always involves at least 2 people. It's scary how soon, with a gameboy/DS, you can suddenly realise a child has been head-down, thumbs whizzing for 2 hours IF you allow it! And it's far easier to set limits and controls when it's introduced to an 8 year old than a 4 year old who can't understand why nasty mummy's taken the fun away.

Now, the gameboys CAN be hugely useful, like on 5 hour ferry journeys BUT, in a day to day context, you have to be sure that you and DH/DP are in agreement that you absolutely MUST break the blissful silence of 2 DSs engrossed in their alien world to compel them back into ours with the attendant noise, arguing, bickering it entails- like turning off the TV, really! If you seriously don't know if you're that type of parent who WILL grit their teeth and say 'Enough', any computer game is the thin edge of a very thick wedge...

Leave it til they're older. There's an entire adolescence to become antisocial, there's no need to encourage it!

AnybodyHomeMcFly · 07/09/2008 17:48

I was v confused by the DS in the title - I thought you meant you were going to adopt a boy for her or something!!!

iamdingdong · 07/09/2008 17:48

my 4yo twins have leapsters, they love them

iamdingdong · 07/09/2008 17:49

i mean, more suitable than DS imo, as suggested below

AbbaFan · 07/09/2008 17:52

teslagirl - you can't just assume DS's are bad for all children that young. They made be for your DC's, but actually for mine they are a very postitive 'toy'.

All children are different, and it is upto the parent to decide whether their child would be suited to a DS.

My boys are not attached to theirs for 2 hours at a time, because they are busy doing lot's of other things.

Original poster
merryandmad · 07/09/2008 17:54

My dd doesn't even know what they are yet. The battle will be convincing my DP that she doesn't need one yet. I have put my foot down on the tv/dvd for the bedroom- even though he pointed out we could buy a pink princess one- this i know she would probably love.
The point is my Dp always wants to buy her a 'big' present for her birthday/christmas. He also thinks we are mean and that she might not be as technologically (sp?) able as her peers who have these type of games.

What is a leapster?

Ps. Sorry for the confusion AnybodyHomeMcFly

OP posts:
hana · 07/09/2008 17:57

with electronic toys you can leave it later with the oldest child and then the younger siblings are exposed to it and end up playing/getting one of their own at an earlier age.

dd is soon to be 7 and she knows what one is - but I'm in no hurry to get one for her yet for whatever reasons I have! 4 does seem quite young

believeintheboogie · 07/09/2008 18:01

www.amazon.co.uk/LeapFrog-20200-Leapster/dp/B000BTNQUQ

believeintheboogie · 07/09/2008 18:02

www.amazon.co.uk/LeapFrog-20200-Leapster/dp/B000BTNQUQ

Try again

muggglewump · 07/09/2008 18:02

leapster

3andnomore · 07/09/2008 18:08

Definitely not for that agegroup in my opinion...because well...they can break them to eassily...(ES got a GBA SP...which was the new thing back then) when he was 8 and he broke it within weeks...because just to fragile...that fliptop screen just not ideal....

Leapsters on the ohter hand are fab and beter fr that agegroup

MetalMummy · 07/09/2008 18:45

YANBU. My kids are 7, 5 and 4 and I refuse to buy them a DS each, partly because they are so expensive and partly because they are really flimsy (DS1 (5yrs) got hold off mine and broke the hinge on it ).
We did get them second hand gameboy advances instead though, they are much sturdier than the DS. You can get one for about £10-£20 pounds off ebay. The games are much cheaper and more age appropriate.

Original poster
merryandmad · 07/09/2008 18:49

Thanks for the links believe & mugglewump - will try to to persuade him to get one of those instead.

OP posts:
StayFrosty · 07/09/2008 18:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

believeintheboogie · 07/09/2008 19:15

merry they do pink ones as well

alicet · 07/09/2008 19:37

Ha ha I read this as don't want to give your dd a brother (darling son)!!!!!

herbietea · 07/09/2008 19:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

FourArms · 07/09/2008 19:59

I completely agree with teslagirl's post, and this is the main reason why I've held off letting DS1 play with DH's X-box 360. I'm worried that I'll enjoy the peace and quiet too much and let him play it for hours. However, whatever we get him (thinking about a DS or an age appropriate xbox 360 game for Christmas), it will be time limited to when DS2 is sleeping or they will fight over the controller. He's 4 and a half now.