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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Not to by a DS for my 4 year old daughter

89 replies

merryandmad · 07/09/2008 17:30

My dd1 will be four in a couple of weeks. Recently 3 of her little friends have all had DS's for their birthday's. One mum has even commented how hard it is to get games that don't come with text (they can't read yet).
My dd is a September baby, so only just starting nursery- I do not want a DS yet- but at a birthday party today (4 year old boy) his mum was saying proudly that he'd had a DS and had been playing on it all morning).
I could see my DP's mind whizzing - he is a bit techy and brought his 60 year old mum a computer- I don't want him to buy her a DS yet, or a tv/dvd combi yet. What would you say?

OP posts:

cupsoftea · 07/09/2008 20:07

lol - a ds for a 4yr old!!! get them on the brain trainer!!!! What about a tamagotchi instead?

melpomene · 07/09/2008 20:10

My dd2 was given Pixel Chix Babysitter for her 3rd birthday and it is fab. It doesn't require reading and little ones can get entertainment from it just by pressing buttons quite randomly, until they learn how to make particular things happen. My dd2 still plays with it quite a lot 5 months later.

It is robust and has withstood being dropped, plus it's much cheaper than a ds.

choccypig · 07/09/2008 20:12

Was I the only one that thought, OMG giving them a Darling Son, as in Baby brother, for their birthday... ?

mrsleroyjethrogibbs · 07/09/2008 20:13

me too alicet...shows how with it I am

Original poster

merryandmad · 07/09/2008 20:18

Sorry choccypig & mrsleroy- this title has caused some confusion- As much as I love my two dds, I am definatley off the market for anymore dc's- even if I could buy a ready made one. My dd2 would probably love the idea of a darling brother for her birthday though- she is two and very much into babies and dollies. DD1 (nearly 4) would probably prefer a princess outfit- than a baby

OP posts:

noonki · 07/09/2008 20:28

I think 4 is much too young, at that age they can amuse themselves for hours with a couple of toy knights/cars/dolls whatever

they lose the ability to use their imagination the more TV/computer games they spend their time on

I was really ill for a few months and the amount of TV went up in our house hold and my eldest completlely forgot how to amuse himself for any length of time

we then went away with no telly etc for 3 weeks and after a few days he was playing away for hours again on his own

cory · 08/09/2008 09:56

Knowing how addictive those things are, we've made it a rule that noone is allowed to have one until they are reading fluently (as in, without effort, for pleasure, books of the Harry Potter level of difficulty). Ds (8) is still waiting, money there in the bank but he needs to be reading something other than comics first.

MollyCherry · 09/09/2008 01:47

How about some software for the PC (assuming you have one if your DP's a teccie).
You can get some great pre-school stuff which is fun and educational, and will be helping her learn computer skills at the same time.
My mum started sitting on the PC with my DD when she was about 2.5 (didn't have the patience back then ). She's 4 next week and can manage a mouse now, so loves doing simple games on the internet and using the CD-Roms we've accumulated.

Much cheaper than a DS too!

teslagirl · 09/09/2008 10:36

Well done, Cory- good thinking.

Another aspect not perhaps touched is perhaps how we all mourn the increasing 'loss of control' we have over our DCs as they advance through school from 'hands-on' Reception to 'barely allowed through the front door' Secondary. Yet how many of us can actually PLAY the games our DCs have on their handheld games consoles? Know the rules? Know the objectives? Realise that there's actually a nasty ghoulie lying in wait through THAT door? We'd sit glued to our DC's side during Doctor Who ready to explain and mollify IF necessary yet we chuck these toys at them not REALLY understanding their capabilities. I'm very guilty of this- I have to get DS1 (9) to get DC2 (7) out of blind corners in his games as I haven't got a clue. I can barely make Mario jump! BUT DH is very savvy and has personally loaded the games onto the gameboys AND can play them so I can relax to a certain extent!

I'm by no means anti-computer games, but the DSs computer is in the lounge, we hold the password, it's net-nanny'ed to the nth degree so the DSs can play on suitable games and we can glance over and see what they're doing at any time. Modern DCs NEED computer skills but I'm not sure gameboys and DSs provide those.

It IS hard to not give a younger DC a games console when an older sibling has one BUT they don't float every child's boat. TBH I don't know if DS2 would have hankered after one at all IF his brother didn't have one (DS2's peer group are ALL firstborns!). As it is, DS2 loses interest far more easily than DS1 who could play for ever, given the chance, but DS2 gets bored waiting for DS1 to finish his game, so picks up his OWN gameboy and off they go into their own little world.

2beornot2be · 09/09/2008 10:40

tell him to get a vtech plug in tv computer game they are really good for learning and teaching your DD new things. I don't know why anyone would buy there 4 year old a DS my 8yr GD has got one and she barely picks it up after wanting one for ages plus there is not many Little children games for the DS

tamarto · 09/09/2008 10:42

YANBU

My 4 year old wants one as her elder brothers both have one, she was slightly appeased when she was given her brothers old gameboy advance but she's desperate for a DS at christmas.

I think i'll give in as she will be nearly 5 and i never spend that much on a birthday present, so i think making her wait another year is more than my ears can stand

mummc2 · 09/09/2008 10:54

its my dd birthday next month and have bought her a second hand ds. She has played on one and says she really wants it, all of her cousins (5&8&5) have one and her best friend. I think shes a little young and am really worried it will get played with for a week and then get left,that is the reason i bought second hand. She has a childs laptop and is fab on it. Was considering getting a leapster to replace the laptop shes almost outgrown; for xmas as they are educational. But i think each child is different and each set of parents knows what they want and what is best for their child, so just do what YOU think is best.

purpleduck · 09/09/2008 10:54

I agree with teslagirl too...my dd is 6, she wants one, but she is NOT getting one.

Everyone has to do what is best for them and their children...we don't have in car dvd's, etc because I WANT them to get bored...I want them to spend some time in their imagination. I worry about what would happen if they are constantly entertained...

My dd does have a tamagotchi like thing - there are a few games on it and it beeps she loved it when she got it, but its not something that she could spend ages on IYSWIM

PoorOldEnid · 09/09/2008 10:58

I love computer games and dd1 has a ds but we have a rule that no ds until 7

what on earth do you buy them when they are older?

luckily dd2 (5) wants playmobil for her birthday and has no interst in a ds

DaphneMoon · 09/09/2008 10:58

God no 4 is far too young. My DS had one at 7 and I thought that was a bit young. However he could read then obviously. The problem is a lot of the games say 3+ on them, I can tell you that no way would a 3 year old be able to work half of them. 4 is far too young. I would give it at least a couple of years yet.

PoorOldEnid · 09/09/2008 11:04

I am buying dd2 (almost 6) the v tech challenger laptop which she can pore over when she is in bed

her friend has one and they are really good for age 4+

PoorOldEnid · 09/09/2008 11:05

what games do all these 4 and 5 year olds play? There are a limited number that dont involve reading? or do you pay 130 quid so that they can play Mario Kart endlessly?

DaphneMoon · 09/09/2008 12:40

I can't think of any that don't require a small amount of reading! Although I do think that once they are reading anything they read helps them.

Gobbledigook · 09/09/2008 12:46

If you don't want to get one, just don't get one! The choice is yours!

Ds3 just had his 4th birthday and despite the fact that he loves pretending he is playing on ds1's or ds2's, he is still too young really.

Ds1 got one for his 7th birthday and ds2 got his aged 5.5 (but it's for his 6th birthday which is coming up soon!). They both love them but I restrict playing time to the weekends and even then only at certain times.

My 2 play Star Wars or Indiana Jones on theirs. It was most useful on a 4.5 hour flight.

Ds3 is quite happy with short periods on Nick Jnr on the PC.

PrimulaVeris · 09/09/2008 12:46

My ds's own reading dramatically improved through dedicated use of ds, computer games and pokemon cards!!

Gobbledigook · 09/09/2008 12:48

Hmm, that's interesting. I read with ds2 (5.5) the other night and his reading was fantastic - far more fluent than I remember it being before the holidays. I wonder if that's from playing on the playstation and DS over the summer?! Ha ha!

PrimulaVeris · 09/09/2008 12:52

I recommend Pokemon diamond & pearl as a reading booster package

move over, brain training!

tarantula · 09/09/2008 12:54

Cant see a problem with getting one for a 4 yr old tbh. Lots of games out there for them to play. Dd has Pacman and space invaders on hers as well as more modern games and also has painting and other homebrew stuff which are great. She actually doesnt play with it a huge amount at home but its much easier to carry round than any of the bigger consoles esp when you dont have a car. Can also put GBA games into it as well which are really cheap to buy tho you cant use the stylus with them.

Hulababy · 09/09/2008 13:02

Enid - there a few games aimed at preschoolers out there now. Things like Dora, Diego, I did it mum, Postman Pat, etc. I have these games available to me, and have played them on my DS with a couple of friend's 3 year olds at different times. The games talk to you rather than the child having to read. Amazing how quick they pick it up.

But for the older games then yes there can be a lot of reading. DD can access more games now her reading is so much better.

francagoestohollywood · 09/09/2008 13:08

Yanbu.
I believe "the later, the better" with ds, playstation etc.

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