To think that mumsnet is causing the arguments

[beanieb]

The situation is this:
There are 2 of us living in the house and we are trying for kids.

I do the bulk of the washing, ironing, tidying in the house.

I also make 50% or more of the mess.

We both work full time.

When I say Ironing I basically don't iron much except for when I need things but I do get the ironing board out on a Sunday and make sure there are 5 shirts ironed for my OH for the week. If I didn't then my OH would do one in the morning before work. It's no skin off my nose and I don't resent it at all, it's part of my routine.

Cooking is mostly my job and even though the OH asks 'can I help' I rarely accept. He cooks lovely food a few times a month.

I almost always wash up - usually the next morning.

I tend to do all the clothes washing and hanging out, we both tidy the house.

In short we do the bare minimum of housework, tending to let things slide and then have a manic clear up but I am more pro-active when it starts to look like a shithole and I am more likely to do little things as I go along.

Anyway - since I joined mumsnet I have been having 'episodes' where I get frustrated by the amount I am doing, yet I never take help when it is offered.

I think it's mumsnet's fault for putting ideas into my head that I should be unhappy with what I choose to do and as a result I keep sulking about it.

AIBU to blame it on mumsnet?

PS - I am NOT a slave BTW! I made it sound worse than it is I think. Anyway - I do blame mumsnet - so there

asicsgirl

I have actually said that to dh before

"sorry I've not started dinner - we've been singing and rubbing noses"

He is v understanding luckily.

fio speaka da truth

i get lonely in the toilet on my own now

doggies awwww

What do people do when their baby is sleeping?

laundry
laundry
laundry

sleep

laundry
laundry
laundry

Mumsnet (otherwise you might not communicate with someone who speaks in sentences for ooooh five years)

laundry
laundry
laundry

poo

laundry
laundry
laundry

exactly fio. Or in my case you go on mn and you don't even get the cup of tea before lo wakes up

I honestly thought it would be much worse than it is. Once you get some sort of routine and the baby is over 6-8 weeks you're away...well in mho

I'm glad I made you all laugh today

Tell you what - when (if) I have a baby I'll make sure I come back and tell you exactly how much of a shock I have found it

there is a big difference between coming home at 6 every night to sit in an untidy house for 4 hours before bed, and having to sit for 24 hours a day in a pigsty.

Very true

and a messy hall is fine but not when you can't find anything, everything is muddy, you can't walk up the stairs and the health visitor takes a step back when she opens the door

there is a point where MESS becomes a health hazard and frankly it will depress you if you never see a square inch of carpet

PPS - I am the kind of person who leaves stinking laundry in a basket for weeks on end!

beanie it sounds horrid to be honest

I think it will get you down

and you can't leave shit-stained baby clothes in the basket for more than a day because you will run out of sleepsuits once he's puked on the first 20 (i.e. by about 11am)

Am thinking of changing my name to Stigofthedump

Yes do, it's one of the great pleasures of being a mother, listening to others tell you how much of a shock it was

Ronaldnhio it very much depends on the kind of baby you get. Mine was a clinger, a non sleeper and routine averse until at least 6m. I used to make my breakfast when my DH got home from work.

I agree with MP and also, there is no accounting for those post pregnancy hormones - you might find yourself the most germ obsessed neat freak ever - it happens.

The problem is with kids you CAN'T just leave the jobs.

They need clothes and unless you invest a fortune you will need to wash them fairly often to have enough.

Once they are weaning they need food at regular intervals - you can't just order in a takeaway.

Once they are crawling you have to hoover every once in a while to stop them eating dead flies.

Pl
I honestly would have left it tightly wrapped up on a rich person's (Madonna maybe?)step and ran stinkily into the night

Ron can I warn you that good babies morph into evil toddlers? It's parental karma

Yes re. food, once they are on solids it feels like a 2-hourly cycle of washing up and cooking

once they talk it is worse

To be fair though ladies it's only a case of putting on a wash. We aren't exactly getting out boards and mangles out are we?

"there is no accounting for those post pregnancy hormones - you might find yourself the most germ obsessed neat freak ever - it happens. "

PLEASE! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I have one evil toddler already MP...waiting for the other shoe to drop

Ah yes, and then you can embrace your inner mother in law!

ooh bad luck ron

I've had two "high-needs" babies (polite HV speak) but once they hit 18 months they have both been adorable (hooray!)

Only putting on one wash? Have you actually tried carrying a load of washing downstairs, getting into the gap in front of the washing machine, getting the washing into the machine, etc. etc. etc. WHILE HOLDING A BABY? Who will SCREAM and be inconsolable for 30 minutes if you (god forbid) need two hands - to say, try something unreasonable like opening the door fo the washing machine or tearing open a packet of washing powder?

beanieb- when DS is sleeping, I do the bare minimum but usually it involves sorting out his washing. As I have re-usable cloth nappies, there's a daily wash now and it all gets hung out on an airer to dry, then has to be folded up (nappies) or put in the airing cupboard (everything else)

I am supposed to use the time to do some of my freelance work but oddly, I seem to end up on MN rather than the prospectus I am editing...

well yes - we have an awful lot of mothers on mumsnet an awful lot of the time don't we. I suppose I would have to knockthat on the head