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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to cross friend let dd age 5 watch spiderman the movie?

44 replies

ilovecake · 30/08/2008 20:54

DD went to friends house yesterday for afternoon and when DH went to collect her he found DD watching Spiderman along with friends DD (5) & DS (2). I am a bit upset about this. I have heard my DD's friend say before that she watched this with her dad but i thought a bit bad to let my DD watch it without considering my thoughts on it. It is totally out of character for my friend - she usually puts my parenting to shame - she is the uber earth mother - very calm, controlled, children have excellent manners, eat lovely homecooked meals, not much TV watching. I am really surprised that she thinks it okay. Okay my DD is not scarred for life and she watches her fair share of TV at home but age appropriate. Should i say anything?

OP posts:
UniversallyChallenged · 30/08/2008 20:57

What is the rating?
Anything above a PG and YANBU.

IllegallyBrunette · 30/08/2008 21:01

I think they are all a 12 or 12A aren't they.

My Ds has watched them all since he was 4, however, I would not let someone elses child watch them unless I had their permission.

southeastastra · 30/08/2008 21:02

it's only spiderman, worse things on tv all the time

IllegallyBrunette · 30/08/2008 21:05

I agree SEA, but I still wouldn't let someone elses child watch it without checking, not at 5yrs anyway.

Cappuccino · 30/08/2008 21:06

it was a PG

I wouldn't have a prob with it tbh

southeastastra · 30/08/2008 21:06

most of it will go over their heads

Doobydoo · 30/08/2008 21:07

I don't think YABU.Each child is different.I know our ds would have had nightmares at that age if he watched it.He was round at a friends house when he was 6 as was his friend.The older kids were 9 and 10 and they were watching ScreamI couldn't believe it.and the mum was the headteacher of the village primary school!
I think you are definitely Not being Unreasonable.
How often does your dd go round?Was it a one off do you think?

Cappuccino · 30/08/2008 21:08

yes but scream is an adult movie

a PG isn't the same at all

Cappuccino · 30/08/2008 21:09

we took our 3 year old dd to see Kung Fu Panda

she watched it through her fingers and as soon as it was over said "Can we watch it again?"

Doobydoo · 30/08/2008 21:10

I think it depends on the child tbh,as to the effect it will have.If they have been used to lots of screaming,explosions etc from a young age then maybe they are desensitised enough for it not to [seemingly]bother or affect them.But not all children are like that.

KVC · 30/08/2008 21:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Doobydoo · 30/08/2008 21:12

I have seen bits of the Spiderman films and we took ds1 to see one of them when he was about 6,at cinema.We had to leave as he was upset by the screaming etc.PG,is obviously up to the parent to decide.

skewputt · 30/08/2008 21:14

No. I was pretty cross when I found that my FIL had left DS (5) to watch spiderman. Especially as he was sitting on his own. When I went to see what he was doing he was taking it all in, and bits of it are pretty disturbing imo. The age rating is there for a reason.

I do think it's unfair that lots of spiderman/ batman etc merchandise is aimed at young children, but the films always seem to be rated 12 and quite brutal!

schneebly · 30/08/2008 21:16

I am happy to let my DS1 the same age watch Spiderman (and my DS2) but because of the rating I would never let someone else's child watch it unless I had permission.

Original poster
ilovecake · 30/08/2008 21:17

It is a 12 - and even if a PG the parent i.e me was not there for guidance. I haven't let DD watch stuff like that so she isn't used to it - i asked her if it was scary and she said it was 3 times - she didnt seem that bothered and i think she can cope but this is a friend that she has been seeing more of lately and i would like to encourage their friendship. Now i'm talking myself round - but still feel cross at my friend.

OP posts:
negril · 30/08/2008 21:18

it depends by the child i personally would go mental as my child has an over active imagination but it depends on the parent about wat u would want ur child to watch speak to her about it if she is a good friend and a fantastic mother she will understand and respect ur honesty.

Cappuccino · 30/08/2008 21:19

no I agree if it is not Cbeebies there ought to be someone there to make sure dc are not freaking out

completely with you there, you can't leave them in front of a feature film and sod off

schneebly · 30/08/2008 21:19

I would just say to your friend that DD found it a bit scary and in the future not to let her see anything that is above PG please.

brimfull · 30/08/2008 21:19

my ds would get scared by spiderman and he's 5

he is easily scared though

can't handle some things on citv

brimfull · 30/08/2008 21:20

i would be annoyed
yanbu

Original poster
ilovecake · 30/08/2008 21:20

Obviously all children are individual and we can each make the decision about what is appropriate for them - but not for other people's children unless you them and their parents very well.

OP posts:
negril · 30/08/2008 21:23

look put the cake down and tell ur friend the truth wat harm can it do.

Heated · 30/08/2008 21:23

My ds has seen some SpiderMan cartoons (he & his buddies breathe superheroes) but has not seen the film as I think the baddies are a bit...bad!

But saying that he loves Darth Vader & Roary the Racing Car equally, such is the mysterious thinking of a 4 yr old boy.

Cappuccino · 30/08/2008 21:27

sorry you are right it isn't a PG

I googled and it said it was

but it wasn't

as you were

Original poster
ilovecake · 30/08/2008 21:29

Okay cake down and deep breath for polite conversation bout this.

OP posts:
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