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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to cross friend let dd age 5 watch spiderman the movie?

44 replies

ilovecake · 30/08/2008 20:54

DD went to friends house yesterday for afternoon and when DH went to collect her he found DD watching Spiderman along with friends DD (5) & DS (2). I am a bit upset about this. I have heard my DD's friend say before that she watched this with her dad but i thought a bit bad to let my DD watch it without considering my thoughts on it. It is totally out of character for my friend - she usually puts my parenting to shame - she is the uber earth mother - very calm, controlled, children have excellent manners, eat lovely homecooked meals, not much TV watching. I am really surprised that she thinks it okay. Okay my DD is not scarred for life and she watches her fair share of TV at home but age appropriate. Should i say anything?

OP posts:
lilolilmanchester · 30/08/2008 21:30

I would never let anyone's child watch a movie with a rating older than their age without the express permission of their parents. So would expect the same of other parents but know they don't all do it. If your friend is as consciencious a parent as you say, perhaps she was fairly confident that it would be ok? But still, I would always check it out. So you wouldn't be unreasonable to say something to her but don't make a huge deal out of it.

morocco · 30/08/2008 21:31

did she know it was a 12? I bought it second hand for ds1 and ds2 and started letting them watch it, but it's a bit grim tbh, I was shocked and checked the box. sure enough, 12. so I turned it off. I just thought, stupidly, that seeing as all the merchandise is aimed at 5 year olds, that the film would be PG - bit scary but basically ok

I would be annoyed if they watched it at a friend's house.

Ashantai · 30/08/2008 23:59

Definately age dependant. My son is 5 and is quite happy watching Spiderman. He has to have Spiderman on everything, hats, clothes, plates, the lot!

I do remember one time tho when my daughter was around 2.5 and she went through a terrible nightmare phase. She'd wake every night screaming that "its coming to get me".

We racked our brains trying to find out what had frightened her, and made sure she only watched kids programms. Imagine my surprise one day when she was watching teletubbies and the bear and lion came on, she started screaming hysterically as the bear started saying "I'm the bear, i'm the bear and i'm coming!"

I'd been putting my poor child through torture everyday making her live her worst fear while all the while trying to protect her from video nasties!!!

wastingmyeducation · 31/08/2008 14:46

My aunty and uncle let me watch Aliens with them while my Mum was gardening one summery Sunday afternoon.
When I was eight.
I think I had a dream about it and that was it.
I was mostly scared of AIDS at the time. Remember the scary iceberg ads? Horrifying.
When I was 17, I used to babysit a couple kids 3 and 18 months and we had to watch Jurassic Park everyday. The three year old got a bit more scared when I had to actually explain about the eating thing, but their Mum was rather impressed when I taught them how to say helicopter and tyrannosaurus rex.

xx

misdee · 31/08/2008 14:51

dd3 has seen them all dh deemed them suitable. she loves spiderman. in fact she loves all superhero movies.

unfitmother · 31/08/2008 14:56

YANBU
I'd be cross too, a 12??

jojosmaman · 31/08/2008 14:56

Its not right but regarding being cross, I would let it go this time as she sounds like a great mum other than incident and you said yourself that you are surprised she let them watch it.

My uncle and aunt owned a video shop when I was growing up, I used to love going round to my cousins house to watch all kinds of films, eating crisps and chocolate from the shop. We would watch jaws, creepshow, the elephant man (!), I must have only been 5 or 6 and i turned out fine....

jojosmaman · 31/08/2008 14:59

Lol how old are you wastingmyeducation I think we may be a similar age as I was deeply worried about AIDS, nuclear war, rabies (there seemed to be a lot of programmes on about rabies when I was a child) and the Poll tax (it just didnt seem fair!!)

wastingmyeducation · 31/08/2008 18:19

whisper it...30... Cold War very scary.

xx

ecoworrier · 31/08/2008 18:37

Spiderman was the film that the BBFC said was verging on a 15 because of the violence. At the time there was a huge fuss because loads of parents complained they couldn't take their children to see it.

This was the time before the 12A system was introduced, and what happened was that some local councils used their own licensing powers to over-rule the BBFC and make it a PG.

It was after this that the 12A system was introduced, so now nearly everything gets a 12A anyway, and you've no idea what that really means or whether a film is just above a PG or nearly a 15. Same with the most recent Batman film, where some of the people on the BBFC said it was nearer a 15.

So no, you are definitely definitely not being unreasonable!

lyrasilver · 31/08/2008 18:41

I know my own children well and am quite at ease with them watching some higher rated films, here at home with me. I would never allow some one elses child to see a film with a higher reccommended age without talking to their parent about it. I would expect others to do the same with my children.

jojosmaman · 31/08/2008 20:32

Me too wasting, well 29 1/2 !

I would lie awake worrying about Russia, whether they would push the button and as for AIDS, well i didn't really understand what it was or how you could catch it, I just knew I needed to get myself a condom! ( I remember asking my dad what one was and he said I'd find out when I was older...!)

wastingmyeducation · 31/08/2008 20:42

I'd just found out where babies came from - sex = babies + AIDS, therefore Mummy and Daddy are going to DIE!

xx

jojosmaman · 31/08/2008 20:51

lol, god the 80's were a very worrying time!
x

emmalou23 · 01/09/2008 15:21

My 3 year old watched the Spiderman film with me and DP last night, I didn't see a problem with it.

MollyCherry · 01/09/2008 16:16

I'd be pretty unimpressed if it was my DD, but as a previous poster said, if she's a good friend and normally on the ball with this kind of thing, I wouldn't say anything unless my DD had been upset by it.

Mind you, I'm speaking as someone who hates anything scary, uber violent or psychologically dark even now at nearly 33, and who at 15 left a friends birthday party early cos I knew the video they had planned to watch would scare the crap out of me. (it was Nightmare on Elm Street and FWIW I wouldn't watch it now either!)

sagacious · 01/09/2008 16:25

Spiderman is a 12

DS (6) considers it rather babyish.

(He was watching it when it first came out so 4ish?)

If he has friends over they watch Spongebob (although I do know of a 5 year old who is terrified of Gary)

Original poster
ilovecake · 01/09/2008 21:25

Well after much thought decided would mention to friend when i saw her today - just felt it would build up otherwise. Said that although DD didnt seem too bothered by it she is often sensitive about anything overly dramatic and i didnt feel very comfortable about her watching spiderman. She was fine and very apologetic - said that her DH had started her DD & DS watching it and agreed that although it probably went over 2 year olds head at 5 our DD's probably would think it over more. So feel much better for sharing it and in a funny way feel closer to friend because we were able to discuss it.

OP posts:
christywhisty · 01/09/2008 21:53

I didn't want my then 7 year old seeing it when it came out. It was far too violent at the end when the Green Goblin is sliced in half by his surfer thing.

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