to really dislike the phrase 'ALL that matters is you have a healthy baby'?

[Spidermama]

Because that's not ALL that matters. Of course it's the most important thing, but I fear some women allow themselves to be short changed when it comes to giving birth, or having the experience taken away from you, by medics and midwives who say 'ALL that matters is you have a healthy baby.'

Actually, a positive birth experience would be quite helpful too.

tbb- some sweeping generalisations about medics & mw,as in all professions some good some not

bit like other vocational qualifications eg teacher/lecturer/SW

some good ,some not

I agree with the OP. My mother said to me "it was all worth it, though, wasn't it?"
Of course, now I know DD she is worth any amount of trouble to me. But when she was first born and I was just trying to process the awfulness of my labour I didn't feel that was the case one bit. I would have given my right arm for a straightforward labour.

Riven, I do think you have a point. Different outcomes give perspective. I have a friend who had an absolutely textbook birth and all she talks about is the pain. I have forgotten the pain of mine because all I remember is the fear. My friend who had a premature baby who was unwell doesn't think labour and birth is a big deal compared to the months that followed for her.

a recurring theme is that many weren't offered oppurtunity to debrief about birth.

or asked to explore thoughts/recollections etc of the birth

i certainly didnt have the birth i had hoped for

i did debrief with GP and it really helped

hospital MW's couldnt get pts out quick enough.unfortunately they are so pressured