to be annoyed at what my mil cooks when we visit?

[2luvlyboys]

Yesterday we went to pils for dinner. We had a roast chicken dinner and it was lovely! She is a great cook tbh. So far so good. She also did a lovely homemade raspberry and blackberry pudding. Again lovely. But then she had to spoil it by producing vanilla or CHOCOLATE icecream to go with it and a home made rice pudding. Whats wrong with that you may ask? I saw her make it she put sugar AND a whole can of evaporated milk in it!!! And she bought in a jug with more evaporated milk!! Dh's family has always made a big deal over puddings. I always thought it was really great until I had my dcs. When I saw her making the rice pudding I did comment that she needn't of done that as well as the blackberry and raspberry pudding. Thats all right she said its a plesure! I made sure I dished out ds1 his sponge pudding straight away but then mil produced the chocolate icecream and ofcourse he went on and on about wanting it. Ever tried refusing a 2.11 year old chocolate icecream? MIL gave him some and I made a comment that hes never had chocolae icecream before! Then ds1 spied the rice pudding and wanted some. I reluctantly as I didn't want a scene game him a little bit. Ofcourse he quickly polished it off and wanted more at which point mil gave him more without even checking 1st. She even asked if ds2 wanted any and I said no way (he's 9 months). My dcs don't have food like this usually and she knows it. I think if you give them used to sweet things now you give them a hard to break sweet tooth (my dh has one for sure)!! AIBU? My mum surprised me I must admit when she pointed out its not an everyday occurance or even a weekly thing (monthly if that). Seemed to be implying that I'm making too much of it which I thought strange as she would never cook things like that for my dcs. What do others think?

No, not troll, I think - 2lb has posted a fair amount, on a variety of topics. Including one on spotting trolls!

I'm with your mum on this one, you are making to much about this.

Your mil sounds exactly like mine and i have no probelm with her feeding my children this type of food because it is only once every 4 to 6 weeks the rest of the time my children don't have puddings unless they ask for one after dinner and then fruit or youghat.

I have more of problem with the fact that she puts her veg on to cook when she puts the potatoes into roast .

"things like intervening early and asking the hostess only to offer dish x or y to your children, for example"

I misread that as 'things like interviewing early and asking the hostess only to offer...' I was going to suggest that perhaps was slightly overdoing it!

YABU! Some of my fondest childhood memories involve my grandparents indulging me in all sorts of sweet treats that I knew would give my mum a heart attack just looking at! Lighten up a bit, and say things like "isn't this a lovely treat?" instead of just being horrified!

haha - funniest thing I've read all day

Can we swap MILs? We went for lunch at MILs on Friday and we were served the following:

16 olives - at least two of which were mouldy.
6 pieces of rancid feta.
10 cherry tomatoes.
6 small garlic bread biscuit things spread with mayo.

And all this was served with NOTHING ELSE!! We are a family of FOUR! Me, DH, DD - 5 yo and DS 8.5 months.

Please, send me your e-mail address and we can arrange a MIL-swap. Seriously. Now. I mean it.

Thank you.

YABU. It's a treat, it's meant to be out of the ordinary. Your MIL sounds very kind and a great cook!

My dad was forbidden to eat sugary foods by a nanny who had lived through two lots of rationing. He is now in his 60s, has an insanely sweet tooth and screwed-up blood sugar and cholesterol to boot. Obsessing over food is never a good idea.

Overreacting. If you didn't want them to have it you should have taken it off them. By your reasoning, breastmilk should ensure children have a sweet tooth - it's loaded with sugar.

jeez, brogue! That's not even a snack for one...

"Your mother knows best.

Make your children run home carrying you and your dh to burn it off."

ROFLMAO

I'd be happy to take your place next time its time for a visit

Ok ok I get the message!! I'm not as strict as I used to be! (much to dhs relief). And I do take your points about being a guest in someone elses house. My sil has only recently stopped bringing her own food for her dd1 same age as my ds1 when visiting my parents for meals or if my mum is babysitting (not organic and she likes her children to eat what she has cooked them herself from scratch!) My mum has never said anything but I know she's a little offended. Although my niece still takes a box full of snacks when she visits even though mum always has plenty of food for snacks if she was allowed to give her any!! One reason why I didn't say too much yesterday. Yes my children do have sweet things dd1s favourite is fruit crumbles but I do feel yesterday was pudding overload! Having said that it often is!!! She makes syrup/jam sponges milk puddings etc etc!! Also now ds1 is bigger he is getting very vocal about what he wants and much harder to steer away from what I don't want him to have!! I just worry about my children getting a sweet tooth like dh tbh!

Habbibu - I was so gobsmacked I counted!!!!! And to make it even worse she'd invited us around because it was a bank holiday where we are, we were just back from holiday and we couldn't go shopping.... Fortunately I keep a well stocked freezer (smug emoticon) so we did not starve.

OP - I'm serious about the swap thing.

There is nothing nothing wrong with sunday lunch pudding EVER.

more pudding = more pleasure

This is a moral absolute. And a law. And a law of physics. And the UN have it in their human rights list. I have checked.

brogue - do you PILs not eat as a rule? Are they breathairians?

YABU. When we go to visit MIL she always has something ready when we arrive, and it's a long, long drive so we love it! Last time we got in to a huge lasagne with oven-cooked baked potatoes and DS ate a ton of it. I could hardly grumble at the multi-pack of milkybars he was chain-fed for the rest of the visit

I think you should do the picking battles thing. I would let this one drop

Nope, not breathairians. In fact, MIL is a major foodie but, in her defense, she is completely and utterly mental .

2luv I think you're more in danger of giving them an unhealthy attitude towards sweet things by freaking out at the sight of three puddings [dan dan dahhhhhhh horror film music]

DS aged 2 loves chocolate icecream but is very aware that it's a treat - it's nice to have some things that are special now and then. Your mil has gone to a lot of trouble to please you all - accept the compliment.

OK glad I didn't make an issue of it with her I'm not as ungrateful as I sound!!! Feel a bit now too!! No ds1 didn't have to be peeled off the ceiling or anything afterwards either!

2luvlyboys - you seriously need to relax your attitudes towards your boys' diets. Yes, it's important to take responsibility for them and to make sure that they eat healthy food overall - but you can't control them.

Just wait until they start going to school by themselves and have their own money! There's no way you will keep them out of the sweet shop/chip shop.