AIBU to think that once you have paid your childcare, its not really worth working.? Is it that you just don`t want to look after your own kid. prefering to stick them in daycare as soon as the shine wears off, it really bugs me!

[discusturd]

Some go from 7-6 and never see there parents, I know I will get slated but in the nursery I work some kids hardly know who their parents are.

Blue - glad we agree.

happyhoney, you think children who want attention are naughty. Do you even LIKE children?

Actually happyhoney, you don't need to answer. I see you are an ex-CM. All the better.

Blue I never said that - I don't like naughty children and as I said the ones who are pandered to usually are naughty. I love children and enjoy working/being with them but I cannot stick parents who think they are doing a good job by giving in to their every whim and then sticking them in childcare. BTW have you ever worked with children?? You sound as if you do not have an insiders knowledge. The poor children must feel dessereted after being carried round all their life then put into childcare where it is not possible and DOES NOT HAPPEN regardless of what you have been told.DO yo like children - ummm???

You are being offensive now - do you actually like your children? After all it's not me who favours work.

While we are on the subject of liking children - there were some children I did not like. This is normal, human behaviour - it did not stop me doing my job well and they were all treated the same, BTW they were usually the ones who were molly coddles and then left with me. No wonder they had behavioral issues.

Happyhoney, it is obvious to me why you don't get on with parents. Are you saying WOHMs don't like their children? You are showing your true colours now.

Happyhoney, by carrying around my babies it was more a case of meeting their needs and not pandering to them. I was pointing out that it was possible to do this and still get on with other things including looking after other young children. If you couldn't do this due to back problems or because you wouldn't want to this, then that's fine and as you admit that you would tell parents to look elsewhere for childcare then it's good that you know your own limitations. It doesn't mean, though, that it's impossible to do.

I agree with your comment that at home parents have other jobs to do just as childminders do but I'm not sure of the relevance of the comment regarding children who need carrying.

Blue,

I never said that I did'nt get on with any of my charge's parents. I am open and honest and would'nt mislead a parent into thinking that I was going to pander to their kids all day. I was only refering to you not other working mums.

Happyhoney, I would say you don't understand children, despite claiming to like them. Or what you are saying in fact is that you only like EASY children who get on with it and leave you alone. If you had actually bothered to read my earlier posts, I had described how despite being clingy with me at home, my children play well and do all sorts of things at nursery they don't do at home. Playing independently being one of them. So they could very well be your dream charge (behavioural issues indeed!) but that would never happen because with your attitude you would never have made it past the first hurdle. And the feeling IS mutual.

Blue,

Who does fully understand kids? You don't or else you would'nt molly coddle them and then leave them in childcare, for someone else to pick up the pieces. Maybe they play independently at nursey BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT pandered to their????

BTW, my children are easy but have lot of attention, however I am in charge not them. No wonder there are so many kids with behavioual issues at school.

Happyhoney, I don't proclaim to be the world's greatest mother. But I do try to meet my dcs' specific needs. I don't carry my dcs around and entertain them out of some neurotic need to pander. I do it because my dcs require it of me. I don't understand why they play better at nursery and it could very well be because I am a poor parent. But at least I can hand-to-heart say that I am very happy that my dcs seem to enjoy their nursery. If being apart from me makes them happier, I will do what I can to facilitate it.

Blue,

Good for you.

It works for us

juuule,

I personally don't think that the needs of the child are being met by them being carried around. Children are by nature ego-centric, they have to learn to pacify themselves (to a certain extent). i wonder wether the parent/ carer is just trying to make their own life easier by carrying the child Chils cries - pick it up - move about - stops.

Blue,

And ours work for us and for the kids I've minded. BTW - you would'nt have had a look in at my setting - you sound to neurotic.

I would not have consider a CM in the first place. I might get someone with outdated and uninformed views of child development.

Phew - thank god childminders can sleep safely knowing that you won't be turning up with views from the 1970's which by the way I don't disagree with - it's just the leaving them in nursery after and hoping for the best.

I think that's where we differ, then, happyhoney. I think that the needs of the child are being met by being carried around.

I think that some babies do need to be carried around. Some of mine have been much happier when they can see what is going on or had the comfort of being carried.
I'm not sure about how carrying a baby around makes a parent's life easier (apart from the obvious of stopping the crying) as it is much easier doing something when you don't have to carry a baby around.

But isn't that what we do? A baby cries and you attend to it's needs. Needing to feel comforted is just as valid as crying for food or anything else.

They do get older and you can gently dissuade them from being picked up all the time, especially once they can get around under their own steam.
They grow out of it. All 9 of mine have.

What a good idea - I could start a business as an attachment childminder and just have 1 child here, I'd have to put my own kids in childcare of course.....Would you mind if they called me Mummy........

Not read whole thread but is someone saying you shouldnt attachment parent if you are going to at some point use childcare?

Juuule,

We will have to agree to disagree. Earth mother springs to mind and patience of a saint.

Happyhoney, glad you are an ex-CM. Not sure about the 1970s or where you got that from. But you sure sound like someone from my MIL's generation.

Hercules1 - yes if you plan to use it before pre-school age.