AIBU to think that once you have paid your childcare, its not really worth working.? Is it that you just don`t want to look after your own kid. prefering to stick them in daycare as soon as the shine wears off, it really bugs me!

[discusturd]

Some go from 7-6 and never see there parents, I know I will get slated but in the nursery I work some kids hardly know who their parents are.

Niecie - I agree. I think it's just that the OP (hmmm where is she??!!) was so totally outrageously ridiculous that people couldnt resist opening and responding.
I blame annual leave and rainy weather - need to get back to work for rational, reasoned debate

They don't anything better it's just a different enviroment, they meet other adults, other children, so naturally start to learn to socialise. Nobody has a family that big, thus children pick up skills and enjoy things that they could never get from home.

mrs ruffallo - my children used to have this fantastic game at nursery involving creating a loooong train out of various items of nursery furniture and then the whole crew would pile on and go on a 'journey'. They still talk about it! Couldn't do it on the same scale at home as my sitting room wouldnt fit all those kids in it!!

my kids dig other kids.

if i had the £££, i'd put DD2 in nursery full days a couple of days a week.

it would do both of us the world of good.

yes we are going mad. I should probably be at work or with my family but not on this

"what do they do at nursery that they dont do at home."

Ds learns to play and share with children of his own age. He learns to take turns, he learns to stand up for himself and he learns that sometimes other people get attention apart from him

Of coure those of you with other kids or just loads of nieces and nephews will quite rightly say your dc learns this at home but I am sure these children learn other valuable lessons

I dunno niecie. I suspect everyone feels a bit defensive about their choices. Very few of us who work full time choose to do so - most of us (even if we didn't have children) would prefer not to work 5 days out of 7. So every time one of these threads come up (and I'm afraid to say it is always WOHM who get attacked on MN, I've yet to see one that slags off SAHMs as a starting point) WOHMs feel the need to defend themselves. And then that tips over into criticising SAHMs for being a bit thick/not very career minded/50s housewives etc and then all the SAHMs get up in arms.

All in all, it's very unedifying.

I keep telling myself this is the last time I'll post on one of these threads and then I find myself being drawn in again. Give me another six months though and I truly will have had enough

action painting in the nusery garden. We did do that at home too, but only when my nerves could stand it!

I don't think it matters about the OP really - most of us could see from the title that it was a wind up (isn't it?!)

I just knew this would have taken on a life of its own - SAHM v WOHM threads always do.

Don't quite know how I resisted for 3 whole days really.

I was reading a review of this book

here

Spicemonster - I am sure if you look at a few of Xenia's threads you will find plenty that start off with SAHM being wrong.

I feel we have gone round in a circle and so I depart

Really Niecie?? I find Xenia very rarely starts threads. She certainly responds to them, but I've rarely seen a thread that starts with WOHMS attacking SAHMS. Maybe we're all too busy working to bother!

chelsy Girl,honeygirl i am flattered you recall my posts because i cant actually recall any of your's?

what a pram, rattle, red faced bawl moment let it all out girl's....and breathe

feeling bilious.so you don't like my posts?well ignore them.

hence i don't have a hissy fit about either of you.

shame on my nation
priceless

out of interest what was it about me saying ii had nursery place booked at 12wk pg that so got you going?

you ladies need to watch your Blood pressure all those histrionics not good for you

calm down lassies

Scottishmummy - I think it's entirely sensible to book a nursery place at 12 wks pg. If you want the best quality provision it's best to get in early. It certainly got them going though, eh?!

the nursery i chose has a minimum 12month waiting list, and is V popular.so yes knowing i was returning made adequate provisions

scottishgirl - thingy

Buzz buzz - ching

It's all about choice isn't it?
I can't get a in a tzzy about how someone else wants to bring their child up.
It saddens me that thereis so little choice and women are almost expected to go back to work though, and very few can afford otherwise

I thought the reviewers comments were very valid to this sort of debate,

"He presents precisely & calmly that it is time for Feminists to grow up & become Womanists.

" Biology, Feminist ideals notwithstanding, still rules supreme & if we don't know how we work, then we don't know why we're doing what we're doing."

"There are natural stages to a woman's life, and every daughter wants to know what they are...The womanist philosophy, concerned heavily with the natural stages of a woman's life, is useful...because it is a path to freedom, not social constriction...It is a middle ground between the old view: a woman must stay home - and the feminist view: a woman must conquer the workplace."

I think the Womanist idea is that as women we need to get back to recognising certain things that affect us all - as a result of our biology. Recognise the things that bind us together as women and fight the female corner - so that women who want to work are able to do so with the support and respect of all women who recognise the need for work environments that are receptive to the unique challenges that working women face - because of their biology. Likewise, the decision to be at home with children should also be seen as a respectable choice that arises from a biological imperative that predates both feminism, and the subjugation of women of the preceeding centuries.

MN has reinforced to me that our roles as mothers IS special and profound and not the same as the (also special and profound) role of fathers. We are all ruled by our biology and it is time we glorified that rather than were ashamed by it... These sorts of threads do not further the cause of women in our society because they magnify divisions between women, when really what we need to challenge a still largely male dominated world is to unite and say that the multifaceted roles that women provide in society: nurturing and professional reflect the truly talented and multi-functioning innate nature of our gender.

I work, but only for the money. My mum did not and yes she was unhappy about it. But you know why? Because she married and had us very young -like many women back then-so basically she went from her father's home straight to the hasband's house. She didn't have any life between. She didn't have the change to experience and to prove herself.
For our generation is different. Many of us didn't have children until late 30s or early 40s. Therefore if someone left home at 16 or 18 -depends which part of the world you lived-you then had almost 2 decades of living life to full,studying, using your degree, earning gd money, travelling etc. Then by the time you have children you dont have to prove anything to anyone. You have brain, and degree and the t-shirt that says 'been there, done it all'.
So if you can aford to stay home, it is brilliand. I wish i could.
No need to attack each other or to try to prove something...

I agree BB
Very well put

It isnt about proving anything is it tiramissu? I didnt have children til relatively late, so, yeah, I had already done a lot of exciting things. Just don't see that having children means stopping doing them!

yes i do try do stuff, went to Van Morrison at weekend.do travel, try have some laughs in this mummy lark

Well I the day off work and took DD3 (15 months) to Nursery today so we could take DD1 (12 yrs) and DD2 (10 yrs) to Thorpe Park for the day and have a 'grown up' outing without having to worry about the MiniMooster. Everyone was happy, we had a great day, the older two appreciated the treat and Mooster had a lovely day at Nursery... apart from the bang on the head she managed to obtain but apart from that all was well.

Now am I wrong because I work, or because I should be capable of looking after 3 children at a theme park and not sending hte little one to daycare or because I ate 3 large pieces of pizza for lunch and let the girls do the same???

I think you're wrong for taking a day off work BBF. You missed that one!