AIBU to think that once you have paid your childcare, its not really worth working.? Is it that you just don`t want to look after your own kid. prefering to stick them in daycare as soon as the shine wears off, it really bugs me!

[discusturd]

Some go from 7-6 and never see there parents, I know I will get slated but in the nursery I work some kids hardly know who their parents are.

"and other people are more capable of providing the right environment for their babies. While some might be rightly critical of themselves there do seem to be a lot who are not confident in their abilities at all"

The difference is that as a mum you won't have had a marketing department producing a glossy brochure setting out all the amazing things you do for your child, unlike many nurseries.

Out of interest, wanted to ask those of you who have your babies in a nursery how common it is for them to be taken anywhere outside of the premises during nursery hours. Round my way it's seething with nurseries (there are 3 big nurseries within 700 yards of my house) I NEVER see the staff out with the children. I suspect that some babies in those nurseries are spending 50 hours a week in the one room, apart from odd trips into the garden when the weather is good. Wondering how you feel about this. When my children were very small we were out and about all the time - visiting other people's houses, going to the park, going to drop-ins, the library, the shops etc. I don't like the thought of babies spending 50 or 69 hours a week in the one room, week in week out. It depresses me and makes me feel claustrophobic. It's not what I'd call 'normal life'. Wonder what other people think and whether other nurseries do different things.

Whoops - "50 or 60 hours"

I think it is a bad idea and I feel sorry for babies who are in full-time childcare from 6 months onwards or even earlier. I do understand that taking an extended maternity break from some jobs is career suicide but it does still seem sad for babies to be in childcare.

On the other hand, I think it is beneficial for most children to attend a nursery part-time from one or two years of age, especially if they don't have much chance to mix with other children and adults at home.

My dd was in nursery part-time from age one, and I wasn't even working, because I had PND and relatives and the health visitor advised me that it would be good for us both to have a break from each other. It was/is expensive but it did help at the time. I was very isolated and she wasn't picking up speech because I wasn't talking to her enough.

I don't think full-time childcare is ideal because a nursery worker doesn't and can't give each child the amount and quality of attention that its mother could/should but everyone needs a break sometimes and I wouldn't judge a person/situation, and certainly not without knowing all the facts.

Interesting OP.

If children are left with relatives for the same hours does it offend you as much?

Or is it only damaging if it's paid childcare?

I worked f/t and DD was in a nursery 8-5 and she never settled, and that was a brill nursery with mature motherly well educated staff. They never went out much and were very regimented. The kids annoyed each other alot and didn't really play together, more next to each other. I decided to stay home and meet my kids needs rather than a companies, I could choose to SAH but only as we had never taken on much debt and we always shared a car and were frugal.

I love this thread. Basically, it's loads of people saying 'what I do for my children is best for all children'.

Depends on the relatives

Seriously, I would be happier with a trusted member of the family than 'professional' childcare. I know that any member of my family would die for my children (not an exaggeration) if called for as they would for one of their own. I'm not that convinced that the same could be said for the majority of out-of-the-family childcare.

TBB, I've worked in nurseries and outdoor time is done on a rota system in all the nutrseries I've been in, eg. in half hour blocks the babies would go out, then the tweenies, then the toddlers, then the anti pre-school, then the pre schoolers, with allowances for snack times, lunches and sleeps (and the weather!). So if it was a lovely day, the children would only spend a half hour outside each day. I always found this depressing, the kids spending most of the day indoors when the sun was out.

This was my experience, lots of different nurseries out there.

I've asked this before on MN (and was shot down in flames....), I wonder how many parents actually spend a whole day in the nursery they leave their kids in, I think it might shock them a bit if they did.

Lol @ spicemonster - aren't all MN 'discussions' just that?

no best for all.

what everyone does is best for their child in their own opinion. for whatever reasons they do it.

there's a lot of bashing what other people do on it though.

i'm like a shite to flies tonight, i cant keep off it.

i should just walk away

also TBB as you say, the kids spend their time in one room for the majority of the time they are in nursery, each room is there for the different age groups and the kids play, eat and sleep if they are young in the same room

I work PT and find it hard enough to leave my kids without stupid comments like this. BUT would find it harder when we are homeless and staving!!!
Oh and yes I work in the childrens centre which has the private nursery in the same building, and always see the kids in the garden
We dont all have the means to stay at home and if im being honest, I like working, I like being someone other than mum for a few hours. And no the shine hasnt worn off my children, styill love them to pieces!

lisa, do they mix the ages of the kids in the garden or is it groups of the same ages out together at a time? I'd be interested how they worked it if all ages were out at the same time, I haven't seen this working anywhere.

What I don't understand is why someone who doesnt send their children to nursery (or even have children in the case of the OP!) is so obsessed with how other people's children are faring there. Titty is obviously checking out all the nurseries round her way to see how often the kids go out etc. And how she knows which kids are in on which days is a mystery to me!My own kids used to go two days a week to nursery, and I couldnt keep up with which kids went on which days,so how she manages when she's not even got children attending is beyond me!! Still, touching to know she's so concerned about all these babies she is assuming are stuck in one room all week.

we have a goverment nursery sharing the grounds too. They do share the garden, but the babies have a small fenced area, but yes from age 2ish to 5 share the garden. Its a stunning place, very forward thinking.
Your welcome to visit

Titty: "Out of interest, wanted to ask those of you who have your babies in a nursery how common it is for them to be taken anywhere outside of the premises during nursery hours. "

erm, my ds spends almost everyday and much of it in the play area outside his room. In fact, he is more often than not playing in the garden when I come to pick him up.

Ds and I are quite happy about that

well what do you think working parents do at weekends or days off? ummm oh yeah we take the children out

The issue I always have is that what I do works for MY family, but it doesn't stop people feeling like they have the right to tell me its wrong.

What annoys me are the amount of people who think they have the right to comment on my lifestyle. For eg, several well meaning people umming and ahhing saying things like "well, you'll never get these years back you know" when I first returned to work.

I began to focus on being the perfect working mother, and being the perfect wife for my lovely husband who works long hours, that I forgot about me. I'm an individual, and somehow, being DH's perfect wife and DD's perfect mother, I forgot there was still an Elf, a separate entity iyswim. Studying to be an accountant is something I would like to achieve, and I dont think that just because I have a child I should be denied that, or have to justify that to people.

I am in support of what other parents chose to do - whether a parent stays at home, goes to work in an office, runs their household or runs a nation, parenting is a tough job no matter what external stuff you do. I think its time we all stop trying to sell our ideas, our lifestyle, our rules, and started to pat one another on the back for a job well done.

lisa, why am I welcome to visit

whats that all about?

no need to be so defensive, I was only giving my experience of working in nurseries, not asking what you do on the weekend

Goodness me, I cannot believe we are still talking about a topic that is fundamentally 'each to their own'.

Who gives a flying fuck about anyone elses opinion if it suits the individual?

no sorry, didnt mean it like that I truely meant it, sorry. Yes I have owrked in some nurseries too, when the children only get 30mins a day outside.

"I wonder how many parents actually spend a whole day in the nursery they leave their kids in, I think it might shock them a bit if they did."

I'm quite sure the children aren't being locked in cages and fed crumbs of biscuits.

Yes, there are bad nurseries out there. But there are some extremely good ones too.

A few of the nurseries around me operate on an all kids out basis, the one around the road from my CM regularly has all the kids outside in the yard, playing hula hoops, riding bikes, crawling about and generally having a good time!

"what everyone does is best for their child in their own opinion"

Not necessarily. I put my 1 year old in a nursery because I was persuaded by their marketing material and their manager that she would be happy there. I was desperate for childcare and needed to go back to work. She wasn't happy in the nursery and eventually I took her out, but only after she'd had a few pretty unpleasant months, which passed quickly for me but probably seemed like a lifetime for her.

"Titty is obviously checking out all the nurseries round her way to see how often the kids go out etc"

Um - not checking them out actually. I am in and out of my house like a jack in the box all day walking children to school/nursery (my 4 year old does 5 afternoon sessions) going to the shops, walking my dog, running errands. There are three nurseries practically on my doorstep and I have never seen the staff of these nurseries out and about with children. Maybe they do go out the building with them every day and I'm just missing it. Who knows.

"What I don't understand is why someone who doesnt send their children to nursery (or even have children in the case of the OP!) is so obsessed with how other people's children are faring there"

I also have fairly strong feelings about primary school age children being sent to boarding school, partly because this happened to me and my siblings. I suppose I care about these things because I care about babies and young children generally - not just about my own children.

ttb who was watching your child? one of your alumi waynettaSlob?no problem then since she passed the coures you taught on.maintaining high educational standards

titty

"persuaded by marketing material and manager"

did they both turn up at your door and force you to send dc to nursery

at the time. you obviously though in your own opinion it was the right thing to do. then your opinion changed and you took dc out of said nursery