AIBU to think that once you have paid your childcare, its not really worth working.? Is it that you just don`t want to look after your own kid. prefering to stick them in daycare as soon as the shine wears off, it really bugs me!

[discusturd]

Some go from 7-6 and never see there parents, I know I will get slated but in the nursery I work some kids hardly know who their parents are.

I would also add (and this is a general comment, not aimed at anyone in particular) that any parent who is unhappy about staying home full time to provide childcare is probably not the best person to be doing it. Children thrive when they are happy and secure. And being with an unhappy parent is perhaps not conducive to this.

VinegarTits - you sound as though you are doing a fabulous job and your ds will grow up having a great example of a working mum. Twinkle is being deliberately obtuse I think, in refusing to answer your question!

Just as well they do otherwise you would be out of work and then how would you spend yout time? Oh I know, going on to MN trying to set off pointless threads. Yawn. Run along and play with the traffic little boy/girl. At least you will have school to get back to in afew weeks time.

Findtheriver thanks, on holiday last week, i had a complete stranger come up to me, she had been watching my ds(2.1) and i together, and she said to me 'that little boy is a credit to you, i have never seen a child that age so well behaved' so obviously 'dumping him at nursery' all day has not had a bad effect so far

Twinkle - you said:

"i dont see the point in having children if you are going to dump them in nursery all day while they are babies, im no hippy earth mother type at all, just a normal mum"

I'd be interested to know who pays your bills? Because unless you have inherited money, or earned enough to take a few years off, it sounds as though someone else is paying for your bills.

If someone is funding your lifestyle, I do hope that person is your DH and not me. It would indeed be galling to work hard, use childcare, and be condemned for using childcare, only to have to fund those condemning me.

findtheriver I do not consider my situation or myself to be in anyway unfortunate rather the opposite in fact.

Exactly VT! I think some MNers are sometimes a teensy bit disappointed that us working mums (and dads!) have children who grow up well adjusted, get good exam results etc etc.

mrz - you are clearly tying yourself up in knots here! You said just now that your partner is very unhappy to be at home, and that his health doesnt enable him to work. Therefore, his situation is not one of choice. You have my sympathy, as that's not a nice situation for anyone.

Twinkle fair enough, but it is not only single parents who have to leave their dc in childcare all day, families on low incomes do it too, maybe they have unplanned children aswell, at what point do you consider a child being 'dmuped at nursery'? is it only when one of the parents dont have to work? not everything is as black and white. But as you say, you are entitled to your opinion

OMG, it seems to me that if you dare to voice an opinion on here you get lynched. Twinkle is expressing her point of view and IMO if you do not need to work and you choose to put a baby in childcare f/t you are dumping them. At the end of the day if you are in a job that you need to keep a hand in - go back part time if finances allow at least until the child is no longer a baby. I find it hard to believe that OP blantly slag of child care workers and yet quite happily leave their kids with them!!! FFS - if you were really happy with leaving a baby for 50+ hours a week in childcare you would not be so defensive.
I have not got a problem with people making choices about their own families just don't winge about needing the bloody money if you fecking don't. You bed lie in it.

oops - your bed lie in it.

to be honest most people who use ft childcare for the under 3's do so because they expect such a high standard of living.

people want too much these days, and
have forgotten how to enjoy the simple things
and the most important things.

bluegreysky - good point, well made.

happyhoney - to describe using childcare as 'dumping' your kids is emotive and is asking for trouble! What exactly do you mean by it? Is it 'dumping' your kids if you leave them with a grandparent? or a nanny? or at school? It's just a word, it means bugger all, except to try to be provocative. Incidentally, not all jobs are possible to do on a part time basis, and not everyone wants to work part time.
Another point - I don't think people are slagging off childcare workers who they are happy to leave their children with. People slagged off the OP because that's what she deserved. (Where is she btw?? Interesting how she's trip trapped off again!!)I wouldnt leave my kids with the likes of someone so ignorant (and illiterate). Like everyone else I know, I chose good quality care for my children.
And finally - who is whinging about needing the money when they don't? I havent heard anyone do that!

we are just moving back to UK after living abroad where I couldn't work so had to stay at home, and now I find if we want to pay the mortgage and eat, I will have to work, and cannot do so part time. I feel desperately unhappy about the fact my dd will be in a nursery and not enjoying being at home with me like the elder two did - but this is real life and there are no perfect decisions. You make the call according to the situation you find yourself in.

[meh]

'to be honest most people who use ft childcare for the under 3's do so because they expect such a high standard of living.'

• for completely ludicrous generalisations, this must take first prize!!

twinkle - many of us have successful husbands, well behaved children and successful work lives of our own, so it's not a case of having to give something up. It's interesting that you use that phrase - you 'gave up' your successful business. Maybe that's why you have such a bee in your bonnet that full time child care can't be ok - because it justifies the fact that you had to make a sacrifice of your career?

findtheriver the situation isn't my choice but like lots of things in life you just have to get on with what life throws at you and while it isn't my choice in the great scheme of things I have experienced worse and survived all the stronger so I don't feel it makes me in anyway unfortunate.
My life hasn't followed the path I imagined but I really don't need your sympathy.

find the river, I am speaking from personal experience about people I know who moan about needing the money in RL, they put their babies in f/t childcare and then swan off abroad!

I appreciate that their are jobs that cannot be done p/t - but if you have a choice - why put your precious baby in f/t childcare??

IMO - baby should not be away from it's parent for 50+ hours a week, with a granparent, childminderetc - it's a needs must situation in my eyes.

I am lucky that I am not in that situation now but when my 1st DD was born - I chose not to work f/t and we struggled but we got through and it was worth it.

"to be honest most people who use ft childcare for the under 3's do so because they expect such a high standard of living"

what a ridiculous generalisation

i work FT to PAY THE MORTGAGE and bills - you know, little luxuries like that