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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that at a 4 year old birthday party it might not be the best idea to show a 12 rated film?

28 replies

redclover79 · 13/08/2008 16:28

I don't think I'm BU. Just picked up ds1 from a birthday party and he told me they watched the spiderman movie, which looks like it's rated a 12... I wasn't asked or told beforehand, I was a bit surprised the party went on for 3 hours, now I know why!!
Obviously it's done now but never having watched the film myself I've no idea what goes on in it, apart from there being a man with spiderlike abilities!
AIBU to think I should've been told first?

OP posts:
Sidge · 13/08/2008 16:30

Why on earth would someone show a film at a birthday party anyway?

Parties should be (at that age) about running round, playing games and eating party food.

And I would be less than impressed if my 4 year old was shown Spiderman - it's not terribly bad but not really suitable IMO.

laweaselmys · 13/08/2008 16:33

It does seem like an odd choice for a 4yr olds party. Technically it was a 12a but it was the film that 'created' that rating, as so many parents with kids under 12 complained that their kids couldn't go and see it. If their child likes it they probably just didn't think about it! And if your child doesn't seem bothered I would say it's not worth worrying about.

It's not massively violent or anything, I suppose some kids might get upset, but tbh at 4 I'd've thought some kids might have difficulty following the plot!

If it was planned in advance that they were going to watch that particular film, I think it should have said so on the invitation. so no YANBU, but I wouldn't make a fuss all the same.

UniversallyChallenged · 13/08/2008 16:36

yanbu I would be livid

divastrop · 13/08/2008 16:36

i wouldnt be annoyed about the age thing-some episodes of the simpsons are 12 rated due to having the word crap in them so i take no notice of certificates unless its 15 or 18.

however,i would be pretty annoyed if my child has been invited to a party and just watched a film.thats just lazy!

Original poster
redclover79 · 13/08/2008 16:41

I thought it was an odd thing to do too, I would never haver thought of showing a film either, at least not at that age! I didn't think it would be a bad film, but ds1 is really creeped out by spiders, although he hasn't said much about the film apart from being a bit bored. He can't even sit through Cars and that is his favourite!

OP posts:
PigeonPie · 13/08/2008 16:41

You're not BU. I would have been very cross. I think I saw it years ago and I certainly wouldn't want my DSs to watch it for some considerable time.

Definitely not suitable for a 4 year old's birthday party, but I don't know what you can do about it.

Love2bake · 13/08/2008 16:50

Thats really odd to show a DVD at a kids party.

Never heard of anyone doing that ever!

YANBU

GrimmaTheNome · 13/08/2008 16:51

YANBU.

some 4 year olds may be fine with it, others may not. When DD was in reception, they had some DVDs at the end of term. Another mum was suprised that the teacher rejected Harry Potter I . But at that age it would have been way too scary for my DD.... she found Lady and the Tramp II scary watching it at home holding my hand! A couple of years later and of course she loved it. You really do need parental judgement on films.

Original poster
redclover79 · 13/08/2008 16:53

Ds1 has just told me the grown ups were all smoking indoors too

OP posts:
Love2bake · 13/08/2008 16:54

I take it they are new to this party thing!

laweaselmys · 13/08/2008 16:55

I'd go with no more parties there then! How terrible!

pointydog · 13/08/2008 16:56

I'd be peed off too.

Peachy · 13/08/2008 16:59

YANBU

Mind uou I am funny about ratings. I was also livid that DS2 got to see kung Fu Panda 3 weeks before it went on release .....at....school!

I know someone involved in the pirate dvd industry and he is Not Nice, so amde me doubly peeved.

we did once have a DVD at a party ( 15 boys in your living room! makes sense) but it was Scooby Doo- and was gnored in favour of running manacally around my table

Peachy · 13/08/2008 17:01

Oh school policy for ds1 (8) is bothging except U- Night at the museum was rejected.

Am told dvd set up to take only U but not sure if that's true or someone trying to impress me with their monitoring

Original poster
redclover79 · 13/08/2008 20:45

I did wonder how many boys managed to sit still for that long! I did wonder whether it had even occurred to the parents that the film might upset other dcs, let alone their parents...

OP posts:
squeaver · 13/08/2008 20:47

How bizarre. YANBU

more · 13/08/2008 20:49

The film contains fistfighting, a couple of murders (the boys uncle, the thief and the baddie in the end), attack of a young woman (who gets saved by Spiderman), the baddie attacking the city causing lots of devastation. Good luck with all the questions and bedtime.

WideWebWitch · 13/08/2008 20:49

Spiderman isn't that bad, my 4yo has seen it but that's because she has an older brother so has seen all sorts of rthings that are technically too old for her but I consider ok.

Were there older children there? I wouldn't be bothered aboiut this tbh.

MmeLindt · 13/08/2008 20:54

I would be bothered about this, as some children are more sensitive than others. Aside from anything else, sounds a bit lazy parenting to just bung a DVD in at a birthday party for a 4yo.

I would not be happy about them smoking in the room with the DCs and would not be sending my DC around there again unaccompanied.

kitsmummy · 13/08/2008 21:17

I think it's a bit crappy showing a dvd for a b.day party but if you're wondering if it's suitable for a 4 year old I'd say it's absolutely harmless, it's pretty much my four year old's fave film and I have no issued with him watching it

kitsmummy · 13/08/2008 21:18

Mind you though, I wouldn't have shown it to a big group of 4 year olds cos of the rating - mainly in case the parents minded

OurHamsterisevil · 13/08/2008 22:30

DS1 is 5 and has seen all of the Spiderman movies. However I wouldn't expect anyone else to let him see it without asking me first.

And agree that a party for children that age should be running around

barnsleybelle · 13/08/2008 22:37

YANBU.... It's up to a parent to decide if they want their 4yo to watch a 12A movie. My ds loves them all, but i took a friends son with me to see the hulk (also 12A), with her permission, and he was terrified and we had to leave. He had nightmares that night.

You are right to be cross.

LynetteScavo · 13/08/2008 22:46

YANBU - would check with parents it was the Spiderman film, not some cartoon, and then say you are not particulary happy (in a polite way)

I watched Lassie with DC's today, which is a PG and was at the violence and language.

Was it a Spiderman themed party?

I have heard of DVD's at a party before (very nice family with nanny present - nanny was new in job and quite mortified)

ravenAK · 13/08/2008 22:54

If you want your child to watch a 12A film that is absolutely fine. Not OK for someone else to do so without permission.

I used to think film certificates tended to be tame, but having recently exposed to 'Dark Knight' (12A, very violent) & 'Final Destination 3' (15, blood'n'guts absolutely EVERYWHERE) I'm less keen.

Also, small children can be freaked out by U films very easily indeed. If I was showing any DVD to 4 year olds other than my own, I'd very definitely check it was OK first.

OK maybe not if it was Teletubbies etc. Also, my 4 yo ds has seen Spiderman, with older cousins, & loved it. But generally I'd say YANBU - not up to someone else to decide this is OK for your dc.