To hate it when people call my son's hair red?

[CuppaTeaJanice]

The one thing I didn't want to pass on if I had a boy was my red hair! I hated it as a kid, but I don't mind it now if I have it long and wear black mascara. It's worse for a boy - all the redheaded boys I knew suffered years of teasing and humiliation.

Thankfully, he (mostly) got his dad's brown hair. DS's hair has a hint of red in the sunshine. I like to call it 'strawberry brown'.

So why do so many people say 'ooh, he's going to have your colouring' like that's a compliment! Is red (or red-tinged) hair now a good thing for a boy to have? Or do brown/blonde/blackheads compare it to their own hair and call it red, even though his hair is clearly brown?

my dh is red (well he was when he had hair lol)

my dog is red

I was well miffed when dd was blonde

(not that the dog is one of her parents I hasten to add)

I've got the enormous bosoms, MI, (34J) and I wouldn't want anyone to comment on them!

You must be red and proud, cuppa - and so important that you reinforce that with DS. If he thinks that you don't like him being (or being called) a red head he is going to get serious issues with it himself. REally bad message if you are not positive about it.

If it has a reddish tint in the summer it's red at least some of the time. You are going to give your son a complex if you make a fuss. If people are being complimentary about it I can't see why it's a problem! If you make a fuss you perpetuate the idea that red hair is 'bad' and to be ashamed of.

My DP's hair goes red in the summer, and he hates it if anyone mentions it, which I think is really sad, since it looks lovely.

Interesting - I always refer to my hair as red. Mum calls it ginger, which I hate. Is ginger a derogatory term but red, auburn, strawberry, titian etc are ok?

I wonder if Red Setters get teased by Poodles, calling them 'ginger'?

laweaselmys - Thats a comfort, i can say i have a red headed child then as DS2 has slightly red tinges in the summer. Am i clutching at straws?

you need this

It sounds like it's a beautiful shade of red. My dd2(aged 7)is blessed with this too, with gorgeous brown eyes, and it is her crowning glory- wherever she goes she is a celebrity because of it! My only is that she is completely unaware of how beautiful she is because of her autism, but at least she'll never be vain! He sounds gorgeous too, hope you can show him it's something to be proud of!

No I'm not Geri Halliwell - wouldn't mind her money though!!!

I know what you mean about others seeing it as red though. I sigh inwardly when well meaning strangers refer to my dc's eyes as 'gorgeous dark brown'; they are *greeny brown' you eejits . It tends to be those with blue eyes though, who think anything other than blue must be brown.

I tell him he's gorgeous and I love him every day (he's going to have a big head when he's older!!!!)

tomarto - couldn't work out what you were talking about, make them spend lots of time in the sun and put lemon juice in their hair in the summer so it lightens a bit and is more noticable then you'll have at least six months of red-headed children!!

I can't believe I am suggesting that. lol, perhaps I will be tempted whenever this DC turns up and I find out if they've got red hair too.

although, my DP's red hair is more noticable because if he lets his stubble grow it is very red... encourage your DS to grow a beard once able??

yabu

I spend real cash on getting red hair! (inherited my Mum's colouring but not her red hair so look awful otherwise imo)

Move to Wales, ds2's very slightly red hair is celebrated by all here!

Loads of red heads in my family, but then their surname meant Redhead (griffiths) I believe

lol my DPs stubble is very dark brown, so if he inherited that i have no hope, it's be a while until i find out though he is only 6!

My big bro is brown with a hint of red. Its always been referred to as chestnut, which is I think a better description than strawberry brown. Its a lovely colour.

Take the comments as the compliments they are doubtless meant to be.

Oh! You'll have to wait ages to find out if you can compromise over your lack or red haired children with a red bearded son.

Bet he'll shave it off just to deprive you too!

LOL i can see me in a few years time posting AIBU to expect my son to keep his beard as it is red and lovely?

Not heard the term "strawberry brown" before... is that like strawberries that have gone off?

Sounds like you have a isssh-oos with the old ginger/red/strawberry thing...be careful you dont pass these onto your ds or he will spend his childhood being picked on.

Think about it

child: "ya ging-er"
your ds "its not ginger its stawberry brown
child: thwack

or

child: ya ging-er
your ds: so?
end of conversation

I love red hair - my brother has 3 redheads, I am v jealous & blame DH.

(Being 6'& female gets you inane comments too, but only while you're young & visible )