MIL has picked to wear a WHITE DRESS at my wedding.

[Iamnotbridezilla]

She has done everything she can to irritate me and caused loads of problems for our wedding.

Then when we got our son christened she wasn't centre of attention so she sat there with a face on her, sent her H over to have a go at me, was annoyed that my mum had held the baby more than her even though my mum made an effort to pay for the christening unexpectedly, come over and hold the baby, and take him round to see other people so they could hold her. MIL didn't even come over to see him and went mad that we didn't take him over. Then she left early with SIL's DP's parents to go to another pub.

Now she has minded the baby the other day, purposely doesn't listen to what I tell her to do with him- didn't even give him his medicine, because she wants to be his mum because she's infertile now.

When I went to pick him up she got all excited and showed me a pic of the dress she's getting for my wedding. It is white and floaty.

No one should wear white to a wedding but she's obviously doing it on purpose to be centre of attention.

I didn't take the baby to see her much when he'd just been born as I wanted us to spend the first week as a family. She has slagged me off a lot and been really awkward over this.

It's like she's hideously jealous of me.

She even copies my hairstyles and colours everytime I get it done and she dresses young and tries to relive her youth.

So AIBU? I wouldn't wear a white dress to someone's wedding.

Imnotbridezilla.

She has shown you pictures of the dress, not the actual dress right? How do you know she is not doing this just to wind you up? She possibly sitting at home squirming in her chair with excitement, waiting for your next move. She is most likely eagerly awaiting a call from your husband, where she will delight in waiting for him to bring it up, in some sort of roundabout way.... then go all humpy, hang up, punch the air and go "Yay!". DO NOT GIVE HER THIS SATISFACTION!

DO nothing. Say nothing. Most likely she has enough tact to know that she should NOT show up at your wedding in white. And if she does, then the shame is on her and not you. Let her then take the shame, let her be the talk of the party for all the wrong reasons, while YOU raise above it, and do nothing but give her a smug little knowing wink at the end of the evening, because YOU showed HER!

Poor you,

a similar thing happened to me - my SIL dressed in black evening gown (she couldn't understand why i got upset, i said to her did you think you were going to a funeral!) and my own sister in a white trouser suit. What can i say, i had to lump it. Wasn't happy with either.

Can only reiterate what others have said, your MIL will look daft.

Enjoy your day!

cocolepew - LOL!! Good for your dh Did she shut up after that?

cocolepew!

lol peachy what a moo of a MIL you have. so glad someone said about her trying to get attention.

Loving all these cunning plans lol.

Definately going to leave her to it and let her look silly, and yes, I do think she's waiting for me to kick off so she can whinge about me like always.

how old is your MIL iamnotbridezilla? she will look a bit mutton dressed as lamb surely in a white floaty number?! def. don't rise to her and let her make a fool of herself.

branflake- surprised you think i'm bridezilla considering I gave you the background info on how mental she is. Seems most people have endured similar MIL experiences to me!

She'll be almost 50 and she still dresses like a teenager!

YANBU- My MIL wore black- she hates me and think she is still mourning her son now!

I have to point out that wearing white is nothing to do with being a virgin. The tradition comes from the Victorian era, when wearing a white dress was a way of showing how well off you were. A white dress could only be worn for one day, as it would get filthy. A dress worn for only one day was the height of decadence!

But to add to other people's comments, it will reflect badly on her. It doesn't make you feel any better when you want to be the only one radiant in white. But at least everyone will be making comments in the "what the hell was she thinking" vein.

Could you get the best man to say something during the speeches - in a funny way which will make her seem ridiculous?

I can see how this could be upsetting for you, but everyone will know that you are the bride not your MIL. Try to laugh it off and do not let this mar your big day.

BTW my mum wore a cream dress to my wedding and it cost double what my wedding dress cost. I wasn't bothered tbh, I was a little but then thats my mum for ya

i didnt know until quite recently that u shouldnt wear white to wedding. Luckily i hadnt previously done so making an idiot of myself. It might be genuine mistake. Cant u get df to ask mil if she has outfit yet and then innocently say i take it its a different colour your getting?...what your getting it in white?... Make her feel paranoid and change it.

My ex MIL did something like this - I had a lace feature to my wedding dress - including long lace over satin train - she chose a white satin dress with lace over. WHen we went through the proofs from the wedding - there is one of her and her husband - smooching and it looks like they are the bridal couple!!!

ANother reason I am glad she is my EX MIL.

I think she is doing it to get a reaction.

Ignore like you would a petulant toddler.

No one will think she is the bride. They will think you look lovely and look at her and think she's an old bag in a white dress at her own sons wedding. Silly woman.

Poor woman, she obviously has a lot of unresolved issues.

Everyone KNOWS that unless you are the bride you don't wear white to a wedding. The only attention she will be getting is bad attention. She is going to look ridiculous.

YANBU.

If she wears the white. She will clearly not upstage you. YOU are the bride, so you will be the centre of attention.

But it wont stop her looking stupid. The only attention she will get will be from everyone else wondering why she is wearing white to your wedding.

but YANBU. Annoying cow.

Good luck btw!

I should ignore her completely. I expect that she does it to annoy you and get a reaction, so take no notice and don't get drawn into her game. I should smile sweetly at her when she annoys you in future and refuse to react.

I don't think I would be bothered by anyone else wearing a white dress so much. Dropdeadfreds beautifull wedding photo shows that it doesn't have to matter.
It is the context of a difficult relationship that is the real problem.

I was at a wedding recently and the aunt of the bride was really overdressed. she did look lovely in a slightly shocking way and all the women bitched about her outfit

weddings are a minefield!

I think once you have it all off your chest on here just forget about it and rise above other people's issues and have a fabulous day!

You have to treat irritating adults the way that you would treat a silly 4 yr old. Ignore them-it is the worst thing you can do-they hate it!

I think weddings bring out the absolute worst in people.

Personally I couldn't have cared less what colour anyone else wore to mine.

But I do think that people become totally irational over weddings, wanting a piece of the action/wanting to be a recognized part of the day. My MIL had a massive row with my dh a few days before our wedding, over something totally trivial. Wen dh said to her "but it's our day" she replied "no it isn't! it's our day" . She told dh that it wouldn't just be him/fil/best man making speaches, that lots of other people, such as her and other friends of the family would be making speaches . Dh knocked that idea on the head by telling the staff at the hotel so that as soon as the last of our speaches was done he stood up and said "and that brings us to the end of the speaches" so they didn't have a chance.

And my mil is usually a rational, non interfeering person who i get on well with, but she turned into milzilla for that day only.

The whole white wedding dress thing is hideous, isn't it?