MIL has picked to wear a WHITE DRESS at my wedding.

[Iamnotbridezilla]

She has done everything she can to irritate me and caused loads of problems for our wedding.

Then when we got our son christened she wasn't centre of attention so she sat there with a face on her, sent her H over to have a go at me, was annoyed that my mum had held the baby more than her even though my mum made an effort to pay for the christening unexpectedly, come over and hold the baby, and take him round to see other people so they could hold her. MIL didn't even come over to see him and went mad that we didn't take him over. Then she left early with SIL's DP's parents to go to another pub.

Now she has minded the baby the other day, purposely doesn't listen to what I tell her to do with him- didn't even give him his medicine, because she wants to be his mum because she's infertile now.

When I went to pick him up she got all excited and showed me a pic of the dress she's getting for my wedding. It is white and floaty.

No one should wear white to a wedding but she's obviously doing it on purpose to be centre of attention.

I didn't take the baby to see her much when he'd just been born as I wanted us to spend the first week as a family. She has slagged me off a lot and been really awkward over this.

It's like she's hideously jealous of me.

She even copies my hairstyles and colours everytime I get it done and she dresses young and tries to relive her youth.

So AIBU? I wouldn't wear a white dress to someone's wedding.

It can be done! These days, most professional photographers will touch up photos anyway, that is why I really do look stunningly beautiful in my wedding photos, though I am quite ordinary looking in real life and in every other photo ever taken of me! It is just the same as what they do for magazine photoshoots. Like this advertisement

My DH has since got hold of some similar software and played with it. It would be no trouble to adjust the colour of your MIL's dress.

Has no one spotted the irony of this?? People raging at the fact that MIL is seeking to break a long-held tradition, whilst the bride herself, with babe in tow, is planning on wearing white?? It used to be a long-held tradition that the bride wore white to signify virginity .

She's a loon though.

let her do it, and don't say a word....you won't need to

Actually an angel came to me and said I was to have a baby... No rumpy pumpy was involved in this case of baby making so I feel I should still wear white

It's just that SHE annoys me really, this is so her. i told DP she'd do this and he laughed and said he'd tell her to leave if she turned up in white. Then when I told him he looked totally embarressed and really annoyed about it bless him.

but will he speak to her? or just leave you to seeth?

If I want to speak to her he will but she is actually quite vindictive and I don't know if it's worth the huge fall out it will cause.. so I'm just having a little seeth on here before I decide what to do

I'm trying to stay light hearted about it though really it makes me want to rip my own face off and eat it IYSWIM

You could get them to photoshop a big dinosaur head onto her or add some mutton legs over her arms as a special thank you gift

My MIL turned up at our wedding in a cream suit, hat and gloves. I was too. As everyone else said, she looked silly (she did!!) not me (well I hope I didn't).

She also fell out massively with my parents neighbours before the wedding (about renting a cottage from them) which ended up with the neighbour phoning my parents to ask what to do. I told them she could fall out with Mil as much as she wanted. Everyone does!

I like the idea of getting your dh2b to say to her that he had vision of seeing his bride as only one in white that day. Doesn't mean you have complained to him then.

I recently went to a wedding where the bride's SIL wore a white dress, with sequins on it, and a huge white flower in her hair.

I thought she looked like an idiot, and was clearly trying to upstage the bride. She didn't. And as far as I know, no one mistook her for the bride.

Harharhar hope v much that you do change the colour of her dress on the pics. So funny. That way you can be perfectly cordial and unbothered by her obvious attempt to rile you on the day but have the last laugh and insist that everyone thought her dress was an 'off grey' colour. "What do you mean, colour's come out weird in the pictures? Colour issues would affect the whole picture so must just be the dress, darling MIL!"

Tenacious- probably! She embarresses him all the time though. Worst thing is, she always seems to do these things secretly to wind me up, then I kick off and look like the baddy.

I too am shocked at how many in laws have done similar!! Men's families are so weird arn't they? Like they can't let go, and have to claw back attention.

"why else would she tell you about her outfit, but not her own son?" - haha, my DP, soon to be DH, wouldn't know that wearing white to a wedding is inappropriate. So if his DM DID want to piss me off, telling him would be pointless. He's say, "that's nice, mum" and wander off to do anything that didn't involve women's wedding outfits!

I should add, that MIL did ask me if there was something I specifically wanted her to wear. I said no. Am now slightly worried about whether I should have mentioned things I didn't want her to wear!

Perhaps her son could offer to ake her shopping to buy an outfit acting as if he didn't know she has one already) that way he can either choose a different colour or she will have to show him the original and he can then look shocked and explain her faux pas.....?

Honestly though there is a group shot of me and my family on my profile at wedding..it doesn't look that odd to me that both mothers are wearing same colour as me....

littlelapin

My mil's antics could take up quite a few threads!!

Ooh and a bit of food in her teeth. This is so much fun, I think I might have to embark on a career as a wedding photographer!

Explain the situation to whoever will be doing the photographs.

My FIL's wife kicked up a stink at our wedding that MIL was involved in more photos than she was Given that she met FIL when DH had already grown up, he simply never thought of her as his stepmother. And since she can't be civil to my very lovely and gentle MIL, we did not put them in many of the same photos. If I had known FIL's wife would be such a self-obsessed pain on the day, I'd definitely have asked the photographer to take more photos of her and to make sure they were unflattering!

this woman is your dh to bes mum. put yourself in her place, she is jelous. why not go out to lunch, just the 2 of you and try to sort things out. tell her that you arent going to take her family away from her and that you want everything to be ok.

as for the dress........does it really matter, as others have said, people will not think she is the bride, so let her get on with it. surely there are far more important things to worry about.

good luck

There are always more important things to worry about...

But what is significant here is that it is symptomatic of a bigger problem - the MILs desire to thwart her DIL. So I think she blinking well does need tackling on this.