Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to gatecrash a wedding that I'm not invited to?

28 replies

Aimsmum · 12/08/2008 21:33

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
greenandpleasant · 12/08/2008 21:36

That is sad, it's very reasonable that you would like to see her. Can you take her to the church / venue? Or is there someone you can ask to take some proper photos? She will be in the official ones if they're having those, are you on good enough terms with XP to ask for a copy of one?

jimjamshaslefttheyurt · 12/08/2008 21:37

Could you ask ex MIL (if you have one) to take some photos for you

Mamazon · 12/08/2008 21:38

i think i would sneak along and just hide at the back of the church so i could watchher do her "bit" and then go without anyone noticing.

such a shame to miss what is im sure a big day for her.

falcon · 12/08/2008 21:39

I'm very pro respecting others wishes and I'd certainly never gatecrash but if the wedding is being held in a church then technically you aren't gatecrashing as anyone is allowed in.

It may not be wise if it'll cause problems but perhaps you could sit in the far end of the back row for a while?

cornsilk · 12/08/2008 21:39

Send her with a disposable camera - they might get the hint.

mamhaf · 12/08/2008 21:41

I think it's against the law to ban anyone from going to a wedding venue...because of the 'just impediment' bit.

I've certainly turned up to colleagues' weddings and either waited outside or gone into the back of the church to see the service...no-one has minded.

Your circumstances are different of course, so I'd let them know, but there's nothing stopping you going outside or to the back of the church.

Original poster
Aimsmum · 12/08/2008 21:45

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
cadelaide · 12/08/2008 21:46

Awwww, sounds lovely.

Do the disposable camera thing, great idea.

Sidge · 12/08/2008 21:49

It's not selfish at all, it's lovely seeing your daughter so excited for such a big event!

It's shame it's not possible for you to loiter but hopefully you will get a picture somehow. Can you subtly ask who the photographer will be (if they're having a professional one) and contact them to ask them to take a couple of pictures of her that you could then order?

callmeovercautious · 12/08/2008 21:51

Decorate the camera so you know which one is hers. We put loads out on tables at our reception and DDs one is lost in the pile I am using up odd snaps left before I get them developed but I am desperate to see how good a nearly 2 year old really is with a camera

Honestly I would phone your Ex SIL and wish her luck, or a text? then drop in that could you lurk about before the party starts to see DD doing her thing? Or is the relationship bad?

DeeRiguer · 12/08/2008 21:51

it would be rotten for her too to be in the pictures, offical ones i mean, and not get a copy..
they would surely get one to her at least, no?

Original poster
Aimsmum · 12/08/2008 22:01

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
NorkyButNice · 12/08/2008 22:04

I'm sure your XP will receive a link to their official photographer's website - normally anyone can buy copies of the photos that have been taken.

I hope she enjoys the day!

Lovesdogsandcats · 12/08/2008 23:01

My ex got married.

I could NOT believe this :
His new wife's sis's dh was doing the photos. I have never met this man, yet he did me an extra copy of one of my kids so I could see how nice they looked on the day.

I honestly I thought it was one of the most thoughtful things and was really touched.

NotActuallyAMum · 13/08/2008 08:56

I had this when I got married last year with my ex SIL, her DD was one of my bridesmaids. We purposely asked the photographer to take a few extra photos of her and her brother to send to their mum. Wouldn't the bride do this for you? Perfectly reasonable request IMO, we didn't even have to be asked - we just did it

VictorianSqualor · 13/08/2008 09:01

I have an official picture of DD as a flower girl at XP's Brother's wedding, It was given to DD, not me or her Father, her.

harpsichordcarrier · 13/08/2008 09:13

Aimsmum - even if it is in a hotel is IS a public ceremony and there is no reason you couldn't take pictures afterwards - in fatc I would just say to your XP and his sister - I will just stay for a little while afterwards to take pictures. I honestly cn't see how anyone could object. it is not like you are going to have a drink or anything!

Original poster
Aimsmum · 13/08/2008 09:15

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
Original poster
Aimsmum · 13/08/2008 09:18

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
roquefort · 13/08/2008 09:24

Can you take a picture of her in her dress and shoes etc in advance, just in case?

Original poster
Aimsmum · 13/08/2008 09:31

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
oops · 13/08/2008 09:32

Message withdrawn

Alderney · 13/08/2008 09:36

Would it be possible to speak to one of the other bridesmaids and see if they can take pictures and get them to you - I'm sure if she is a littlie that she will need one of the older bridesmaids to "keep an eye out for her" anyway and I'm sure if you explain the situatiuon that one of them will be happy to take some photos for you

Original poster
Aimsmum · 13/08/2008 10:13

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
CountessDracula · 13/08/2008 10:15

Could you not just photograph her later?

Swipe left for the next trending thread