To be shocked that my nanny cant cope with looking after my children full time in the holidays ?

[demandingboss]

Thats it really. We were away for the first 2 weeks.She has had them for 3 weeks and only has this week to go then she has a week off which is costing me a fortune to cover and then she has 3 days one week and 2 days the next and they are back to school.

Told me this am that she cant cope with having them 11 hors a day in the hols its just too exhausting and she spent all weekend in bed feeling poorly with the stress of it all.

She gets paid full time wages all year rund and has lots of perks ( and I maen lots ).

She seemed to be suggesting that they could go to holiday club so she could get on with some studying during the day!!!

I was so gobsmacked I just left and acme to work!

To be honest Im not expecting to get any replies to this as you will I am sure be too shocked to type!

Mine does 8-6 5 days a week with 20 days plus bank holidays per year, for a lot less than your nanny is paid, for our 5 and 2 year old.

As someone pointed out, at interview she was asked what she wanted as a salary and we are paying within the range that she gave us. She was previously working at a nursery for admittedly slightly shorter days and a damn sight less in salary - and she is live out too.

What are your conclusions to all this DB?
What is your gut going with?

Thanks crumpet that makes me feel better and I bet she doesnt get a lunch hour either ?

JBJ. Im not prepared to accept she studies whilst she is looking after my children so if hubby hasnt discussed that with her when I get back I will sort out a review meeting for her this week on the basis that she moaned about DS's behaviour. They I can let her know my concerns. I will hate doing it but today I have done nothing at work just worried anout this and been on mumsnet!!

And I dont think I am being unreasonable.

yes and no re the lunch hour - term time she does as my youngest still tends to sleep after lunch (irons at least one lunchtime generally with Jeremy Kyle), but then holidays no as my oldest is at home.

She is earning a fortune compared with her salary as a nursery assistant.

Nor do I.

I don't think its appropriate to be working on something else when looking after my dcs. Either they are working or not.

How about suggesting a lunchbreak study hour (or so) amnesty and a couple of half hours a day. She can do what she wants in that time, but as a formal thing. Your dcs are old enough to be able to cope with being ignored for that length of time. But the rest of the time she is ACTIVELY being with your kids.

OK, so everyone agrees that you should help her to move on.

BUT

I presume you need childcare to see you thru the rest of the holidays?

So go back to my post from earlier today. Take time out to sit and plan the next 3 weeks ith her.

If it works, the kids will have a much better time for the rest of the hols. If it doesn't, nanny has given you a neat invitation to get rid.

Win either way, but you have to put the time in, to get a result either way.

Expat, NP and those who were shocked at the hours and rates of pay etc. Sadly for alot of nannies this is the case IMO demanding boss actually sounds like her nanny has a good deal and that she is maybe disallousioned in her position.

An example of a nanying job I had 8wks Summer holiday spent travelling throughout the Bahamas and the St Barts first few wks on the family boat (caravaning for rich people ) then staying on a hotel for the remainder. Sounds fab but worked 24/7 had to share a room and bed (!) with a 8yr old girl who had lets say ishoos. I had 2 days off during that whole time. The only time I had any free time to myself was prob 30 mins at the end of the day before I collapsed and when I slept. No overtime just reg salary. This was a position with a v prestigious family who made out at interview process that the job was v v different. Thankfully I met my now DP and left sharpish. But it is a situation many nannies find themselves in. Sadly for all the horror my nanny did XYZ there are just as many awful employers.

no they don't riven. You eat with the children.

FYI: live-out nannies in London where salaries are highest can easly earn £35,000 gross per annum for a 50 to 60 hours week. Live-in nannies can earn upwards of £23,000 gr pa.

This nannie is neither overworked or underpaid at approximatly £20,000 gr pa after living expenses if she is outside of London.

Who would look after the children if the nanny took off for an hour a day??

A lot of people dont get an hour for lunch. Despite it being in the contract for an office job nearly everyone I know and have worked with eats lunch at their desk whilst working most days.

A nanny would get to sit down and eat her lunch with the children and then I expect arrange an hour's 'quiet play' or a DVD etc after lunch to have a sit down and a cuppa (well that's what I'd do anyway lol)

2point4kids..that is perfectly acceptable provided they are entertained the rest of the time!!

Riven your point answered!!!

I think this nanny is well paid she effectively has £300 per week disposable income that is a lot! If the nanny was organised/good at her job she would get a break or 3 with chidren of those ages. Dc in the pool Nanny can sit by pool read a book, take dc out do an organised ativity with them etc, then let them watch TV/computer games for half an hour.

If she were half decent at her job this would be a breeze.

I don't think I've ever had a lunch hour when working as a nanny. You can't exactly leave the children home alone for an hour, can you!

However, a nanny does usually get lunch provided, so it's not as though they need to leave work to get lunch.

I think clumsy makes a good suggestion regarding the remainder of the holidays - help your nanny plan out what will happen each day. The children should also be involved with the planning as they are of an age where they are able to suggest things. Also by helping with the planning, they are less likely to moan about things they dislike, because they know their choice is coming another day.

But Riven you have them 24/7. A nanny dosent and mine has from 11 to 3.00 and sometimes 4.30 as a break in term time and doesnt see them at all when we are on holiday and she is not taking holiday!

In an office though, working to rule is often pretty career limiting. It is those who go the extra mile and put the extra effort in that tend to be promoted.

Not sure you'd see many nannies on here who say they expect an hour off for lunch.

Thats why people hire live-in riven because a live-out is wanting to leave on the dot at 6pm. I've had parents ring me from the pub and say they stopped off for a drink or two or three [hmmm]

Riven - having quiet time for a short period a day is just as good for the children as the adult!
They'd go crazy if you played structured things with them constantly I think.

I'm not a nanny but I know a couple of good ones

PT I would never do that. On the odd occasion we have been up to 15 mins late and everything after that is paid or time off in lieu. We do not take advantage of the fact she lives in although it would be nice if there could be some give on her side as I have many examples of the take.

The bottom line is she is cruisng because she doesnt want to be a nanny anymore and she knows that I am pretty soft and so far she has got away with it. The bottom line is she has a another 3 yaers studying to do and should I sell my kids short for that length of time ?

Yes but £300 per week disposable income for clothes,personal entertainment, presents etc is not a low income - everything else is paid for - car, accommodation, food, use of pool etc etc