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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To call in sick for work because I am having a miscarriage

49 replies

roseability · 08/08/2008 22:01

It is a very early miscarriage. Would be 5 weeks today. Heavy bleeding and severe cramps but above all very emtionally delicate. I still feel guilty though, probably could have got through my shift tonight (nurse)

OP posts:
Lizzylou · 08/08/2008 22:02

No, yanbu, take kikt easy and rest up
Take care x

PhyllidaPoisson · 08/08/2008 22:02

Take a bit of time for yourself.
sorry for your loss.

Nemoandthefishes · 08/08/2008 22:02

dont feel guilty as its not just about physical side but mental aswell..take some time to yourself

noonki · 08/08/2008 22:03

very sorry for you

of course you shouldn't got to work

you need time x

Habbibu · 08/08/2008 22:03

No, you shouldn't feel guilty at all. It's important to look after yourself, and especially in a job like yours. So sorry for your loss.

foxythesnowfox · 08/08/2008 22:04

No, you most definately are not being unreasonable.

Take the time you need to heal yourself, not others.

I'm sorry. Be kind to yourself, put yourself first. Take care.

mylovelymonster · 08/08/2008 22:06

You must put yourself first. I'm really sorry x

pudding25 · 08/08/2008 22:06

Sorry to hear that. No way are you being unreasonable. You need to rest and look after yourself.

Backgammon · 08/08/2008 22:06

Oh you poor thing, of course you shouln't feel bad about taking time off work, you need to rest.

SesQal · 08/08/2008 22:06

YANBU

Can I also say how sorry I am to hear you going through this.

You should not feel guilty and although you maybe could have got through it is not what you need at the moment. There are some things more important.

Look after yourself, indulge in a nice bath and some chocolate. It sounds quite superficial at a time like this but it can help.

Have you got someone with you? DP or BF?

I cannot stress how much you should not feel guilty. If this was someone else's post you were reading saying the same thing you know you would think they are perfectly entitled to take some time off sick. Do not feel bad and take as much time as you need.

Sending you lots of ((((((((hugs))))))))

TheRealMrsJohnSimm · 08/08/2008 22:07

Absolutely not unreasonable. I am so sorry for your loss. A m/c at any stage is incredibly difficult emotionally and physically. Take good care of yourself.

alicet · 08/08/2008 22:07

YANBU. Agree with others that the most important thing is your emotional recovery. You are right that physically you could probably have gone in but that's not the only thing is it? No idea what form of nursing you do but I am sure that you would have advised one of your patients in a similar situation to do exactly as you have done.

So sorry for your loss... Look after yourself at this upsetting time and try not to feel guilty x

PootleAndThePoseysMum · 08/08/2008 22:11

No, of course not , I'm very sorry for what has happened. Of course you need some time for your thoughts

((((Hug)))

NigellaTheOriginal · 08/08/2008 22:12

No absolutely not.
look after yourself

2luvlyboys · 08/08/2008 22:13

YANBU. Totally agree with the others. So so sorry for your loss. I've had two miscarriages and its the most awful thing to happen. Take as much time of as you need. Take care will be thinking of you x

mashedbanana · 08/08/2008 22:14

sorry for your loss.you need time for yourself.i had a miscarriage a few years ago and i had time off work [i'm also a nurse].take it easy and try not to feel guilty xx

Roboshua · 08/08/2008 22:25

YANBU. You need to do what is right for you. In similar circumatances I did go in fro my next shift after an early miscarraige. However that was only because I didn't want to be on my own and think about it. You need to do what's right for you. Sorry fro your loss.

BeHereNow · 08/08/2008 22:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ravenAK · 08/08/2008 22:28

YANBU.

I went in in similar circumstances (teaching) because I felt I needed to get out the house. Was v wobbly, physically & emotionally. Should've had a few days on the sofa really!

Don't feel guilty AT ALL.

Spidermama · 08/08/2008 22:32

Sorry roseability.

Of course you should take time off work. If you bury a massive emotional upheaval like this it will pretty soon become physical in some shape or form.

Of course you need time to recover physically and to grieve your loss.

I'm really sorry.

Look after yourself.

elkiedee · 08/08/2008 22:43

Totally reasonable. Even if early, you're not feeling well, and you've got real sadness to deal with as well. Take the time off you need and go back when you're ready to be strong for your patients. Take care.

jammydodger · 08/08/2008 22:44

So sorry that you're going through this. I took a week off, just wouldn't have been up to anything before that. Far too weepy

Mamazon · 08/08/2008 22:46

of course YNBU.
so sorry for your loss, take the time you need. the world can manage without you for a while until you feel stronger.

cornsilk · 08/08/2008 22:48

Stay off. Sorry for your loss.

laweaselmys · 08/08/2008 22:49

If you can bear to tell your employers what's going on you may well be eligible for a grievance leave. I got this for a v. early miscarriage, and I was really grateful for the week they gave me because it took that long for the hormones and my feelings to settle down and to move from being incredibly upset and sensitive back to a functioning person. Other people find it's best to go back to work and not dwell but really it's absolutely up to you, do whatever you want to do.

I'm very sorry for your loss and hope you feel better soon.

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