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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think it is wrong to swear in front of children fullstop!

104 replies

May2December · 04/08/2008 23:59

If we expect them not to swear surely we should set a good example. (Not saying I have never done this just that I think it is wrong). What is the worst swear word you would say in front of your dcs and would you tolerate them using it?

OP posts:

IdrisTheDragon · 05/08/2008 00:02

I say "Oh God" more often than I should. Don't say anything more than that - DS is 4 and DD is 2.

sallystrawberry · 05/08/2008 00:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

youcannotbeserious · 05/08/2008 00:05

I got told off recently by a 3YO for saying 'flippin' hell'

Was truly

My DSDs know quite a few swear words though.... DSD1 (13) would say bugger and use the finger, but never in anger, IYKWIM. She does it as a bit of a joke.

Once they are teenagers, I think it's simply a fact of life that they will know these words, and it's better to acknowledge that rather than try to pretend it doesn't exist. So, DSDs know the words, know that we know and know that it's wrong...

sallystrawberry · 05/08/2008 00:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KatieDD · 05/08/2008 00:10

I have 2 friends very middle class both GP's et etc their daughter aged 2 dropped a fork at the table and said "oh fuck" we nearly wet ourselves laughing.

Califrau · 05/08/2008 00:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

littlelamb · 05/08/2008 00:23

I think swearing at children is far far worse than swearing when they are in earshot iyswim. I wouldn't tolerate swearing if my dd was listening, but at her nans house last week, dd was sat down with a drink, saw a fly land on the side, sighed and said very wearily 'bloody flies' It was quite funny, but shows how much they listen and take in without you necessarily realising.

cornsilk · 05/08/2008 00:30

I think there are worse things you can do, although I try to avoid it.

twoGsinBuggerOff · 05/08/2008 00:41

im with cornsilk.

expatinscotland · 05/08/2008 00:43

I used to say 'Damn' a lot. Can't anymore now.

twoGsinBuggerOff · 05/08/2008 00:45

cant say damn? i spose youe religious then? im not. i dont see damn as a swear word.

expatinscotland · 05/08/2008 00:46

I guess it's pretty tame, but DD1 started saying it quite a bit.

twoGsinBuggerOff · 05/08/2008 00:53

i spose...

ds3 was slipping off the bed in the back of the campervan the other weekend and said in this bizarrely calm, quiet, old mans voice 'oh fock, oh fock'. i was truly taken aback and when i rescued him asked 'did you just say fuck?' and he looked at me like that was a really stupid question and said 'i was fallin off bed!'
gobsmacked. tried to make light and said, 'no xxx, youre not allowed to say that word' and he just shrugged and ive not heard it since.
hes 2 btw.

thumbwitch · 05/08/2008 01:01

no YANBU, but perhaps a tad unrealistic. DH and I have been trying to give up swearing since before I got pg and are still rubbish at it. DS is 8mo now so we need to get on with giving up. DH keep saying "surely I can still say crap/piss/bloody etc." and I tell him that any word he wouldn't want to hear out of a 3 yo's mouth, he mustn't use. Very limiting.

Dammit is still acceptable to me but might not be to other people, so if DS started saying that, it might offend someone else.

But I do wonder, in this day and age, whether it's worth bothering really as kids all seem to swear their heads off even in infants' school.

Still, we can but try.

solidgoldbrass · 05/08/2008 01:07

I really don't give a fuck about it myself. I think it's ugly to hear parents swear venoumously at their children, but someone shouting 'shit' if they shut their hand in the door is hardly a big deal.

tweeni · 05/08/2008 01:46

i don't swear at ds but i might say in conversation. for example the other day my friend showed me a photo on fb of her new fancy man and i said fuck he's hot. i go by the whole just as you can't drive a car, smoke cigarettes, drink wine cos you aren't old enough you can't swear either. those things are especially for adults.

Stephen99 · 05/08/2008 01:48

a colleague of mine was given a lift to work a while ago by a neighbour, and they were dropping the neighbour's cute 3 yr old off at nursery on the way.

as the car approached some traffic lights, they changed to red.

cue a little voice from the back saying "bastard lights"

clearly they'd been delayed at that junction whilst in a rush on one or two previous occasions!

RuthT · 05/08/2008 01:52

lol that is so funny. I think driving is when most of us are compelled to mete out some expletives

MrsBates · 05/08/2008 02:01

Stubbed my toe the other day and my daughter said 'It's Ok you said shit mummy, it wasn't your fault, it was the bloody table.'

Try very hard not to swear but it flies out sometimes.

Bumdiddley · 05/08/2008 08:59

I have been replacing the swears with innocuous things like 'Oh my giddy aunt' which DD (3) has copied even the way I stress the giddy. Also 'You have to be kidding me'

We were crossing the road a couple of weeks ago and and she muttered 'fugging car'. . I blame dh for that!

Overmydeadbody · 05/08/2008 09:01

I think yabu. Nothing wrong with swearing in front of kids.

Only wrong to swear at kids.

forevercleaning · 05/08/2008 09:08

my dh uses all sorts of swear words infront of the dc! I am prone to slip in 'oh arse' and shit, bloody, bollocks and bugger! when they were small around 2-5 they have all said swear words and i was mortified, but now they are a bit older they know we say it but understand they must not!

Prob let it out in the playground though to friends and they then probably tell their parents forevercleanings dc told me!!

barnsleybelle · 05/08/2008 09:22

We slip up occasionally but don't swear deliberately in front of them.

I think that it's highly likely my ds will swear as he gets older... but what i want him to understand is when it's not appropriate, ie in front of adults and children..

I came downstairs the other day to hear him trying to get someting out of the fridge... he was muttering " oh for gods sake" (he's 6). Tbh i thought it sounded funny, but i pretended i'd never heard him as i know he would not have said it in my earshot and that's all that matters to me.

themoon66 · 05/08/2008 09:26

DH knocked his drink over and 2 year old DD said, very loudly.. 'oh silly bugger daddy'.

Guadalupe · 05/08/2008 09:29

I try not to. I don't swear in everyday conversation but it does occasionly come out as an expletive. I slipped down the stairs the other day and bent my little toe at a right angle on one of the stairgate bars. I said FUCK quite a few times then.

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