to think it is wrong to swear in front of children fullstop!

[May2December]

If we expect them not to swear surely we should set a good example. (Not saying I have never done this just that I think it is wrong). What is the worst swear word you would say in front of your dcs and would you tolerate them using it?

In an IDEAL world of course you shouldn't swear in front of them.
But I'm sure none of us are infalliable, and the odd slip-up won't damage them for life.

I don't worry too much about swearing in front of mine. Gave up when they were 2 and letter of the week at nursery was f and they showed their phonic knowledge with shameful aplomb. I do avoid the c word in front of them however.

It still truly surprises me how offensive people find swearing tbh. I personally think the tone is all and not the words themselves. Hence I have rarely seen my 9 yo wannabe cool and tufty boy so shocked as when we walked past a toddler who yelled venomously at his mother, who was handing him an orange lolly: "I wanna strawberry one you fucking bitch". It wasn't the f b coming from a 3 year old. It was the anger fuelling the words that was truly eye opening and sad. I thought my son might find it funny (and he did a bit in an OMG! way) but he was really surprised and unimpressed.

I'm trying to reign my language in a bit but I find it hard to be too arsed. You can't protect kids from hearing swearing, unless you never let them listen to music, go out in public, that kind of thing. I figure so long as my kids understand about context and when not to swear, I'm not that fussed.

DH totally disagrees with me, however.

I have a stock phrase/philosophy
"if you're paying national insurance, you can use that word"
seems to have worked over the years, and is better than a blanket "no, now that's not a nice word, is it poppet? we don't say that, do we....?
people are too precious about this, IMO, and these words become forbidden fruit (as it were)
they're gonna use them, they're gonna hear them
my mum was a real no-swearing type, and as a consequence, i've got the filthiest gob i know of
i do limit it in front of DS - very strongly, but will not be imposing a total ban on him, as they just do not work
actually, thinking back, my mum was fond of using words like buggerlugs and sodpot as terms of affection, so i should imagine i'll be letting words of that strength go by

Gosh there are a lot of perfect parents on this thread! How do you all remain so controlled? Do you reeaallly not let out the odd muttered "for fuck's sake" or similar as a tension release?! I certainly do. I don't want my children swearing like troopers and DS1 seems to understand that they are just words for adults. If he does say anything "naughty" I just ignore it. It rarely happens anyway.

Generally speaking I think people get too hung up about "swearing" - they are just words FFS

I do try not to swear, but often fail. I try to say something like "Oh, fudge" rather than "Oh, fuck" - and the thing is, even when I manage to do that, DS1 (2.5) still giggles a lot as if he KNOWS that it's a swear word in disguise...

We also use "blardy", courtesy of MN! So lots of "blardy dog" etc in this house.

I refute any suggestion that swearing is indicative of a poor vocabulary - I have a doctorate in English and a very extensive vocabulary, but sometimes only a good "fuck" (as it were) will do.

wow, scummymummy....that is quite shocking
i just wonder what their home life is like, because that little boy knew what he was saying, rather than just parroting phrases
funny thing is, though, DS says something which sounds like "buggerbuggerbugger", but is actually an amalgamation of makka pakka and iggle piggle, which has raised a few eyebrows

I was hunting snails in the garden last night. Spotted one in my beans and triumphantly crowed "I see you, you little bugger!" Didn't realise dd was right behind me. She shrieked with excitement and yelled "I see you Snail! You little brother!!" and then, all concerned, "Where's his big sister gone mummy?"

I try not to swear in front of the children. My friend, however, thinks I'm painfully vulgar because I say 'bum' instead of 'botty' when talking to dd - she looks at me as if I've just asked dd if she'd like mummy to wipe her fucking arse?

quite right, mog...same here
sometimes, you just gotta channel that anglo-saxon energy

Quite at that, really.

I wouldn't talk to anyone like that, certainly not my dd, seems very aggressive imo.

If I heard that in public I might be inclined to put my judgy pants on

A parent who is always losing their temper but never swearing is far worse, of course.

Is fricking swearing ??

I try and curb my enthusasim for a good old f word by improvising.....

I guess it is normally when you've been pushed to snap rather than an everyday event.

swearing around them I find hard to avoid to be honest
swearing at them, never but sure I have said 'oh ffs' for example when younger ds's have emptied whole bag of sugar over kitchen floor, or emptied all my new shampoo into the bath,
little sods!!

I think telling a child to 'do as you are fucking told' is abusive.

swearing is wrong

I swear in front of the kids sometimes. Never at them but in convo with dp say. I shouldn't, it's wrong.

my 6 year old dd has just been banned from club penguin for 1 day for swearing

To be honest any yelling at children is abusive and slamming doors could terrify them and I feel smacking is wrong. Of course I lose my temper but feel it is my problem to deal with and try not to take it out on others.

Also if a teacher told a pupil to 'do as you are fucking told' they would be sacked, if they said 'do as you are blinking well told' they would not.

I lost my temper with DS this afternoon. Had been attacked by a wasp, got something in my eye, and just spent ages in my 9.5 month pregnant state wrestling shopping and 23 month old into car. Was about to drive off and noticed DS had got his arms out of the straps on his car seat again, for about the millionth time this week. This meant having to get out of the car, get the shopping off the front seat (really heavy bag) and wrestle DS back into car seat. Words were said, Anglo Saxon ones at that, although I tried to get them out whilst I was walking around the car, rather than in it. A door was slammed as well.

Not ideal, but I don't think it makes me a shit parent. I do think life would be very difficult if you are offended by certain words (context notwithstanding), especially as they tend to go in cycles and stages of being acceptable or not at different periods in history. It's more the intent that should be offensive, than the actual words, IMO.

I don't use them everyday but say ffs when I lose my temper or stub my toe etc.
As long as you don't use it in everyday conversation I wouldn't have hang ups.
They are only words.