In hughjarrs defense, she was saying exactly the same thing as Jammi, not worded as well perhaps but the jist of her post was the same.
In none of her posts has she stated that her partner has
- abandoned his first child
- not payed maintenence.
She did in fact state that her partner pays maintenence regularly and has not missed any payments. She stated that it was the extras that her partners ex asked for that are sometimes refused if they have other outgoings that need to take priority.
I do feel that a few of you have misunderstood her meaning and intent when she posted and have jumped on her accordingly. She has also stated that her dsd is an integral part of her family and they seem to have a lovely relationship judging by what i've read of her posts.
As regards the CSA not taking into account an NRP's partners income;
My partner and i live together. We both have a child from a previous relationship. My dd has no contact with her father and i have never received maintenence.
DP had to fight through the courts to stop his ex from going missing with dsd on a regular basis. We now have her with us every weekend, all weekend, one night during the week and 3/4 of all school holidays.
Partner and i work full time. I am the higher earner (in 40% tax band). DSD's mother has never worked, her husband has a low paid job.
Our lifestyle is far better than that of DSD's mother, but that is because both of us work hard and built our careers up over many yrs.
We buy DSD most of her clothes, pay for school trips, private healthcare etc.
However, it is not fair to expect me to pay a portion of my wage to DSD's mother as maintenence. My partner is DSD's father, the monthly maintnence is his responsibility and his alone.
I pay for dd's childcare, healthcare, school clothes, normal clothes, education, activities etc etc as that is my responsibility.
It is not my fault that DSD's mother does not wish to work and it is not for me to feel guilty that we live in a large home in a good area whilst her mother lives in a small flat in a crap area.
I made my choices, she made hers.
I do everything i can to ensure that my DSD feels that she is an equal part of the family that DP and i have, she has the same sized bedroom as dd, she is bought clothes as and when needed or wanted, the same amount is spent on both for christmas birthdays etc, both girls receive equal love affection and attention. DSD is included in all aspects of our life as she is just as important as DD.
In my opinion, as long as DSD knows that she is loved by both her mum and her dad equally, that is the most important thing that she needs.
Whether or not one family has a larger house or takes more holidays is just part of life.