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AIBU?

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Original poster

To secretly think my friend who works full time should actually spend some of her holiday time with her kids instead of them being in the kids club all day every day?

149 replies

chelsygirl · 03/08/2008 08:39

I know this is a hornets nest, but it makes me wonder when my friend who is working about 50 hours a week goes on her two weeks with her kids and they spend every hour in the kids club until it shuts

My friend says "oh they love the club", but at age 3 and 5 wouldn't they enjoy spending a bit of time with mum and dad?

She and her husband sunbathe all day and go for a leisurely lunch each day, which does sound good, but surely not every day of the holidays?

I know there will be posts of "pass the popcorn/has this kicked off yet", but as I wouldn't want to upset my friend telling her my opinion I'm venting here

OP posts:
scottishmum007 · 03/08/2008 13:36

as others have pointed out, who are to judge. i think at the moment i wouldn't want DS going to a kids club but who knows, maybe one day we might just do that for a bit of r&r.
sahp or wohp!

Libra1975 · 03/08/2008 13:38

excellent cornsilk

*continues to search for holidays that have kids club for a 4 month old.

motherinferior · 03/08/2008 13:41

'Looking after children is what being a mother is all about'...oh, for heavens' sake.

warthog · 03/08/2008 13:44

slap slap for both of them.

right - NEXT!

Thisismynewname · 03/08/2008 13:53

I can't actually see what difference it makes whether the parents works f/t or not.

Either kids clubs are a bad thing as kids should spend time just with their parents on holiday, or they are not. What's with all the rules about how much worse they are if they are used by parents who also work? The holiday club thing is a smoke-screen to me. This is another whinge about people who work a lot and don't see their kids much.

myermay · 03/08/2008 14:08

I agree, can never understand why kids get put in club all day everyday, think it's really sad. i don't think a few hours hurts as it's nice to get a few to yourselves, but i personally would feel too guilty

belgo · 03/08/2008 14:10

I agree thisismynewname. I'm a SAHM and have used a holiday club for my dd1 last year. Does it make it any better or any worse that I am a SAHM?

She enjoyed it, and so did I.

tiredemma · 03/08/2008 14:11

I dont know of any Kids clubs that are open 'all day'- they have sessions in the morning and afternoon.

If children want to go to the club, what is the problem?

girlsallaround · 03/08/2008 14:17

i came from a family where we were never in the kids club since my mother and father were great parents and spent every second of their time playing with us, teaching and explaining things for us, inventing things for us, taking us etc etc you get the picture.

my dh comes from a family where his parents would have put him all the day in the kids club while they rested (they are still like that today including with the grandchildren).

i couldn't tell you which is better. i came out completely abnormal and do not thing it is healthy for children to spend so much time with their parents, or for parents to spend so much time with their children.
my dh thinks the way he grew up is ideal.

he (and both his sisters) are far more level-headed and psychologically fit than my sister and me!!!

JuneBugJen · 03/08/2008 14:21

ah, the joy of having kids, girlsallaround, is that you never know what thing you are doing at the moment might be the thing that messes them up for life!

Blondilocks · 03/08/2008 14:21

Surely if they are all enjoying themselves then it doesn't really matter?

cornsilk · 03/08/2008 14:24

isn't spending all you time with your chn considered to be helicopter parenting and unhealthy?

JuneBugJen · 03/08/2008 14:25

exactly cornsilk. You can't win! We are all doomed to cause some kind of ruction with our dcs! ;)

girlsallaround · 03/08/2008 14:27

yes thats just it, there is no point in trying to assess someone's parenting today. let's all see how the kids end up in 15, 20 years....

mamserafina · 03/08/2008 17:36

cornsilk - lol at helicopter parenting!
i couldn't agree more....
I still have memories of my parents trying to do things with me and my sister on holidays while we were soooo bored and couldn't wait to be old enough to go to the kids club!
They only run hols clubs for 8 years old up in those days at the beach where we used to go.

It seemed so unfair that those kids were having so much fun (they had the same sense of humour, energy and knew what was the latest kids craze)while we had to pick shells on the beach or go for long boring walks!

My dss go to the holiday clubs and can't wait in the morning. And I am work full time and they are in care during the year.
I think it's healthier for them to be so independent so young...

Does this make me a bad parent???

They seem very happy and would certainly throw a tantrum if tried to keep them with me and dh to do family things...they get enough of those at the week end and evenings!

swallowthree · 03/08/2008 17:49

I don't think that children and adults were ever meant to be in one anothers pockets all day long. When I was a lass, we used to be out of our parents hair for much of the day playing out,older kids looking after younger ones. Aren't kids clubs a more formal version of that - playing out obviously being a no no in these paranoid wrap em up in cotton wool times. Its nice to spend some time together but adults need a break too.

swallowthree · 03/08/2008 17:50

I don't think that children and adults were ever meant to be in one anothers pockets all day long. When I was a lass, we used to be out of our parents hair for much of the day playing out,older kids looking after younger ones. Aren't kids clubs a more formal version of that - playing out obviously being a no no in these paranoid wrap em up in cotton wool times. Its nice to spend some time together but adults need a break too.

mamserafina · 03/08/2008 17:53

well said swallowthree!

expatinscotland · 03/08/2008 18:00

I think it's foolish to assume a 'holiday' with kids that young is going to be any sort of holiday without resorting to kids clubs.

But RuffleTheAnimal on Sun 03-Aug-08 11:00:06 put it far much better.

Each to her own.

If it suits her and her family best, hey, it's not like she's leaving them to play in a lion's den all day with a bag of chips and a can of Coke.

JuneBugJen · 03/08/2008 18:05

are you saying expat that a lions den is not a valid parental choice for childcare?

May need to reconsider our family holiday arrangements.

Is Fanta better?

expatinscotland · 03/08/2008 18:06

no because Fanta has artificial sweetners in it, June.

now those are bad.

allgonebellyup · 03/08/2008 18:12

all i can really say about this thread is;

judgey judgey judgey

JuneBugJen · 03/08/2008 18:13

ah, so it doesn't contain all the vitamins and minerals to encourage my childs growth then. best go back to formula.

mosschops30 · 03/08/2008 18:28

Really a kids club that lets you leave your kids there all day whilst you sunbathe , where do you find a hotel like that, ours normally take them 2 hrs a day max

mumeeee · 03/08/2008 19:50

YANBU.