To secretly think my friend who works full time should actually spend some of her holiday time with her kids instead of them being in the kids club all day every day?

[chelsygirl]

I know this is a hornets nest, but it makes me wonder when my friend who is working about 50 hours a week goes on her two weeks with her kids and they spend every hour in the kids club until it shuts

My friend says "oh they love the club", but at age 3 and 5 wouldn't they enjoy spending a bit of time with mum and dad?

She and her husband sunbathe all day and go for a leisurely lunch each day, which does sound good, but surely not every day of the holidays?

I know there will be posts of "pass the popcorn/has this kicked off yet", but as I wouldn't want to upset my friend telling her my opinion I'm venting here

I spent 2 weeks in Kefalonia with my children last year. They were 2.9 and 13 months when we went

It was the most stressful fortnight I have ever had. We did all the shell collecting, going swimming, goiing for walsk, but I spent the whole 2 weeks shouting at them, running after them etc. Hardly quality time spent together (and I am at home with them a lot, so it wasn't like we weren't used to it)

DP said he'd have given his right bollock for a kids' club

Too much of a snapshot to give an opinion.

This Kid's Club couple - do they spend lots of time with their children at weekends and other holidays? Is this two weeks summer hol kidsclub their only real adult leisure time away from their children in the whole year? Holiday kid's clubs can work out much cheaper than evening babysitting at home.

IMO caring for two little children on holiday 24/7 is stressful. It doesn't matter what sort of parent you are, how much you work outside the home.

If the children are happy in the club, it's a win win situation if they go at least for some of the time.

Good post tigermoth

YANBU

Children NEED to be with their parents - that's a fact, whether it's anyone elses opinion or not.

Looking after children is what being a mother is all about. Yes of course they can be a pain, they're children.

I feel sad for the children. If they prefer the kids club than the parents, the parents must be pretty hideous.

I would sometimes love to get shot of my lot on holiday but they always hated kids clubs (ds's went once and cried so much we had to go get em) so we just don't bother now.

Being on hols with dc is knackering i know but just having dc is knackering too isn't it?

You just get on with it and make the best of it imo.

I will not post, I will not post, I will not post....

Is it just the mother that is being given a virtual kicking, or has the father been slapped about a bit too?

I think every family needs to do what is best for them.

I doubt that any outsider is in a position to know what that is.

agree with tigermoth, sheik and humph

i have friends who are both teachers, work full time, and their DCs go to nursery/ Child minder for part of school hols, every school hols so the parents can do lesson planning etc and have some adult time.

i think the notion we should be permanent martyrs to our children adn not want adult time with our spouse or partner or even alone, a really damaging one

being a mother does not reduce you to that single role for evermore

far better for the parents to spend small portions of quality , enjoyable time with their DCs than feel obliged to spend 24/7 with them

after 2 weeks of summer hols, no work for me at the mo, and the constant refrain of 'i'm boooooooooooooooooored' , i quite fancy using a kids club for my two.

Why are people harping on about school holidays childcare? THe OP is talking about a family holiday - where parents are not working. What IS the point of a family holiday if you don't do things as a family when they are there?

Yes, it's hard work when they are little. So life's not a piece of piss every minute of the day - get over it! It's what you signed up for!

Humphrey is spot on

"far better for the parents to spend small portions of quality , enjoyable time with their DCs than feel obliged to spend 24/7 with them"

So when exactly are these small portions of quality enjoyable time with their DCs happening in this example?

Also I would say that the example of teachers is simply not comparable to the lot of most workers. Teachers are themselves able to avail themselves of long school holidays - so if they take a couple of weeks out of 13 weeks' school holidays for preparation it is not the same at all.

Yes, why is everyone giving the bloody mother a hard time? there is always a DAD too!!!

"looking after children is what being a mother is all about"

Well, what is being a father all about then?

i am going away for 2 weeks to an apartment in portugal, i have no partner, just going with my childless friend who will, no doubt, leave me (understandably!) to do all the childcare, shouting at them, stopping them drowning, stopping them being in sun too long, stopping them fighting/screaming etc.
Its gonna be fucking hard work, and i doubt very much that it will be much of a holiday for me, but i wanted to be in the sun.
i do understand how hard it is to go on a long holiday with kids. But on the other hand i do find it sad that these kids get dumped in a kids club (i hated them when i was little)while their parents get the whole day off.

i said it too lulu! please miss, approve of me too!

quatrrocento, i don;t imagine the kids club gives he child dinner, baths them and puts them to bed. or maybe they do, but i am not prepared to stick the knife in to these paretns based on the OP. you are damned if you do and damned if you don;t in so many areas of parenting

i approve ruffle!

well i aint going anywhere again with all the (little) dc without making damn sure its either somewhere huge and rambling and fenced in and utterly child friendly so i can relax for, ooh, 5 minutes a day, or utilising childcare (childcare the kids will be happy with obviously)

not until theyre all a fair bit bigger and i can take them trekking in the himalayas or something tiring and enjoyable for all of us. certainly not getting bored round a pool somehwere. bored kids are hard work!

fanks mum!

(nappiesG)

We had skiing hol this year with couple who used to comdemn us for using kids clubs.

At first they only put the kids in on this hol for a couple of hours. By the end of the week we had to drag them to pick the kids up at 5.00. all the dcs were happy as they hung out in a big gang.

They said it was the most relaxing hol they had had since the kids were born!

D'you know I can understand why they do it? Because when you're totally knackered anyway looking after 2 children is the last thing you want to do. And children don't recharge their batteries in the same way that adults do. But as it happens I love spending time with my DCs on holiday - beach-combing, rock-pool dipping, rock clambering. I wouldn't miss it for the world. However if I could afford a nanny to do all the cr*p stuff like teeth-cleaning and bedtime I would. By the time it gets to the evening DH and I are wiped out so our DCs tend to end up staying up till way too late. I'd swap the chores bit for the fun bit anyday.

We're all on here instead of spending quality time with our kids. What's wrong with kids clubs if the kids enjoy being in them? They're not on for 24 hours of the day. When I was a kid we didn't have kids clubs but my mum expected us all to entertain ourselves for the day. That's not so different.

I just want to check something - is it ok to put your DCs in a kids club when you go on holiday if you are a SAHM/SAHD?

Of course it is!

The other thing is...who says kids clubs are crap? The staff who run the ones we have been to are lovely fresh faced fun things who genuinely seem to love their jobs. They are not just shut away in one stinky room with mangy toys.

I used to be a 'camp counsellor' in Canada and really had fun with all the kids. I was proud of my work.

Only just seen this and in response to the OP - Does your friend get a choice? Does she get more than a certain number of weeks a year off work? Most people don't.