Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

AIBU in thinking my husband is an ungrateful git???

45 replies

shoptilidrop · 31/07/2008 10:46

Honestly i am mighty pi**ed off. Its his 30th birthday in a few weeks. He wants money to put towards a new bike. Thats fine and im organising it all. HE wont get if for a few weeks after his birthday as we are on holiday then he is away for a week. I wanted to do something special for him, so decided to do a scrapbook of the last 10 years. I got a really nice album, and all the bits i needed, and spent about £25. Ive spent the last 2 days looking for photos but am missing qiute a lot. DH works away in the week and has his own pc so i asked him to bring some back with him. He immediatley got defensive, saying why did i want them, why couldnt i tell him. i said i couldnt as it was a surprise. He got a bit narked about that and said he didnt want a bloody life book thing, or a poster of his life or anything with pics of him in. Bloody ungreatful sod. I told him thanks a lot i shall no longer make any poxy effort and he will be lucky to get a card!
Honestly, whats wrong with him!

OP posts:

stealthsquiggle · 31/07/2008 10:48

Sounds like he is preparing to sulk about turning 30 to me.

Good Luck - if he is anything like my DH you will need it.

wingandprayer · 31/07/2008 10:49

Erm...do you think there's anything else on the PC he wouldn't want you to see? Methinks DH protest too much.

Original poster

shoptilidrop · 31/07/2008 10:51

oh no, i dont want him to bring the pc back, just the pics on a disk.

I think he is just a miserable tosser

OP posts:

wingandprayer · 31/07/2008 10:56

In that case, yes he's is being v miserable isn't he? What a lovely idea it was and now he's been all mardy about it. I would be tempted to buy him something really dull like socks now since he didn't want the really special present, and keep all the
scrapbooking stuff to make DC/family album.

nametaken · 31/07/2008 10:57

Sorry shoptilidrop but that sounds like an crap gift for a blokes 30th birthday . It sounds like something you'd give to a couple on their 30th wedding anniversary.

AND, your giving him a birthday present but he has to put the work in by getting all the pictures together, and he obviously can't be bothered.

YABU - you asked him what he wanted for his birthday and he told you, money for his bike. So give him what he asked for, otherwise what was the point in asking him what he wanted.

Why don't you make a little memory box for the kids instead

FiteFuaite · 31/07/2008 11:01

Nametaken,from how I understood the OP he is getting money towards his bike,this was an extra present.

FiteFuaite · 31/07/2008 11:04

oh and shoptilidrop,I think you are right to be peed off with him.

Get thee down pound shop,lots of stuff there for miserable gits

wingandprayer · 31/07/2008 11:04

That's a bit harsh nametaken - he's already getting the money for the bike as well as the scrapbook.

BuwchBywiog · 31/07/2008 11:05

Sounds like he's dreading hitting 30 and that a reminder of his life so far in the form of a scrapbook made him panic even more! He didn't have to be so mean though.

Kewcumber · 31/07/2008 11:06

yes he is an ungrateful git

nametaken · 31/07/2008 11:10

Sorry but I honestly don't think I'm being harsh.

I laughed when I read the original post. She married a MAN fgs not her best friend who'd love a pretty little scrap book.

Original poster

shoptilidrop · 31/07/2008 11:11

yes., he is still getting the money for the bike. I just wanted to do something special as well. WE have been together since we were both 20, so have known each other years. Thought it might be nice to shown how we have grown and changed and include wedding, puppy, baby pics, promotions, holidays etc,.... i did ask a few other people if they thought it too girly. But everyone said it was a really nice idea.
I was also organising a family meal as a surprise too, but shant do that now either. I dont think ill even bother with a card, then when he complains i tell him its his own miserable fault.

OP posts:

Original poster

shoptilidrop · 31/07/2008 11:14

nametaken - what so men dont have feelings.... do they all carry clubs and wear loin cloths too? LOL

OP posts:

Kewcumber · 31/07/2008 11:14

so if you don't get a present that you want that someone has taken time over you tell them you dont want the bloody present?

Surely a "ooh no please, I hate looking at photos of me so hate to think of you wasting your time on it" would have been a bit more reasonable.

nametaken · 31/07/2008 11:14

Aww, organise the meal and card for him - all he did was to be honest with you and that's a good thing isn't it?

Kewcumber · 31/07/2008 11:15

I think allowing men to be rude and laughing it off sayiong "oh well they are men you can't expect them to be polite" is pants. well yes actually I do.

nametaken · 31/07/2008 11:16

Kewcumber - it you ask someone what they would like for a present then you should get them what they request, otherwise, what was the point in asking in the first place?

wingandprayer · 31/07/2008 11:18

Even if he hates it (and we can assume shoptilidrop that you would not have chosen to do it if you thought it would be something he'd hate), he should still ahve had the good grace to appreciate the effort being made and not right it off in such a nasty way. Imagine if the tables were turned and he'd asked what dress size she was "Urgh, no, why do you want to know? I don't want a bloody dress, or a skirt or any other clothing off you". It was a totally uncalled for, ungrateful response by him to caring gesture from her.

wingandprayer · 31/07/2008 11:19

She has got him what he requested - the money for the bike. She was trying to be nice and give him something extra.

nametaken · 31/07/2008 11:21

I'm quite shocked i'm in the minority here .

I'm even more shocked that the OP thinks it's OK to punish her dh by cancelling his card and party because he said something she didn't want to hear.

I'm off now, hope your dh has a nice day.

womblingalong · 31/07/2008 11:22

Nametaken,

She IS giving him the bike he wants FGS, that is not the point. It is his rudeness and ungratefulness that is the issue. The OP has told you a couple of times that he is getting his asked for pressie. If it was my DH i would def pull him up on his behaviour.

Hecate · 31/07/2008 11:22

Were the people you asked women by any chance?

Men have feelings, of course they do, but I really don't think it's the type of thing that most men are interested in. He was certainly rude about it, disgustingly so! He should have pretended that he thought it was a lovely, romantic idea and he would spend his evenings staring at it in quiet contemplation! It wouldn't have hurt him to pretend - but tbh, I think pretend is what the majority of men would do with a gift like that. However you'd expect them to be touched at the thought and effort put into it!

Perhaps I don't know the right sort of men but I cannot think of even one bloke I know who would look at something like that more than once (and only then because it was expected!)

However, for his rudeness about it - I think you should make him a chocolate laxative cake.

differentID · 31/07/2008 11:22

he was already getting what he asked for though. And he was rude in speaking to his wife that way, showing no respect to her or for her feelings

differentID · 31/07/2008 11:23

lol hecate.

Original poster

shoptilidrop · 31/07/2008 11:27

Yes he has been rude. I would not have done it i thought he wasnt going to like it. Ive put hours of work in on it already. I work and have a dd and a dog and im on my own monday to friday. Time is not something ihave much off.
I think its bad manners. If someone gets you somthing you dont turn round and say, No i dont want that! There have been plenty of presents he has given me over the years that were not exacally what i wanted, but i didnt tell him that, would have hurt his feelings.
Hell get his money for his bike and thats all.
Nametaken, he is still getting what he wanted, this was meant to be a little something to open on his birthday, that he didnt know about.

Trust me he will complain when its my birtday a few weeks later, everyone will make a fuss off me and he will say why did noone make an effort for mine, and will get all gumpy about it. Same thing happens every year. Serves him right.

OP posts:

Flip

1 2