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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think that in laws could have paid for taxi back from airport

44 replies

pamelat · 26/07/2008 18:06

Am more than happy to be told that I am unreasonable as I think that I might be being .. !

My Dh has been gone for over 2 hours, will be another 40 mins or so to fetch his parents from the airport, take them home and then back to our house again.

In itself its not a problem but it coincides with our 6 month olds tea time, so as in the week I did tea, bath (no mean feat!), bottle and bed for myself.

In laws are well off. Could they not have just paid £30 for a taxi, it will have cost us £15 or so in petrol (and nearly 3 hours of our Sunday). Would rather have paid half of their taxi price

Sometimes this "Pick me up from the airport" business is more hassle than its worth. We always park or sort ourselves out.

So, am I?!!

OP posts:

Blu · 26/07/2008 18:09

I can see why you would be fed up that he uses a big part of a w/e day to do that, yes.

Some people just seem to get into the habit of thinking that airport trips are something you do for people - it drives me mad, I never expect anyone else to drop / pick us!

hercules1 · 26/07/2008 18:10

I don't think you are being unreasonable but then I don't think they are being outrageous either.

BouncingTurtle · 26/07/2008 18:11

YANBU - DH's SIL ran DH and I to the airport once, but in our car (company car anyone can drive) so as to not use their petrol - they originally offered to drive us in their car. Also, we took her and dh's db out for a meal to say thanks (as they effectively gave us free parking - they live much closer to the airport that we used than we do).
If anyone ran us to the airport we would always offer to reimburse their petrol, be they family or not. My mum paid my dbs for their petrol when they have ran her to the airport.

Original poster

pamelat · 26/07/2008 18:13

No, I think the heat is making me grumpy!

I would do it for my parents but they would ask me first whether it clashed with bed time etc etc, just a bit more thought would have been nice.

I think people forget that a quick airport pick up is a return journey for the helper - know its not really bad, just feel a bit stroppy about it!

OP posts:

Freckle · 26/07/2008 18:15

Sorry, but what is so hard with dealing with a 6 month old by yourself??? These are your dh's parents and I often do stuff for my parents because I love them, not just because it would save them money. I certainly would not begrudge my dh doing the same for his mum.

So, yes, YABU. Wait until you have several children who all need bathing, feeding, etc. and then you should still be happy for your dh to help out his parents. Don't forget that one day you may well be expecting your dc to be doing the same for you .

VictorianSqualor · 26/07/2008 18:17

I can understand being fed up that he isn't around but I wouldn't think twice about DP doing it for his parents, just be a bit annoyed I was home alone.
Would they do it for you if you asked?

Original poster

pamelat · 26/07/2008 18:20

Not sure if they would do it for us or not. He isnt really that close to them, we tend to be fairly self sufficient.

Nothing hard about putting her to bed but am with her all day every day, weekend help is nice

not an issue, more a moan. Just wondered if maybe I am being nasty because its inlaws rather than my own parents.

OP posts:

Shitehawk · 26/07/2008 18:20

You would do it for your parents, but when he does it for his you don't like it?

They can hardly be blamed for the fact that their plane comes in at a time which interferes with your baby's bathtime!

YABU.

mumeeee · 26/07/2008 18:22

Sorry I think you are bieng unreasonable. Your Dh is helping his parents out.I know it seems difficult to cope with your 6 month old by yourself but lots ofparents have to do this.
When my children were small my Dh sometimes worked late or had to be away for a few days. I then had to cope with 3 small children on my own.

Original poster

pamelat · 26/07/2008 18:24

Shitehawk, thats what I am asking. Would I mind if it were my parents?

I just think they should pay (or we could pay for it) rather than use so many hours of someones time.

The true cost is far greater when you look at hours lost

But yes I think I am resenting (selfishly) time away from me on a Sat night.

Know I will end up mentioning it to Dh and I really dont want/need to. He is a star.

OP posts:

wheresthehamster · 26/07/2008 18:27

Why don't you just put baby in the car and go with him for the drive? I know I would have.

Routines are ok but they don't half limit you

wheresthehamster · 26/07/2008 18:28

Oh - just spotted he's already gone

CantSleepWontSleep · 26/07/2008 18:28

If he's been gone that long then a taxi would cost a lot more than £30.

Doing tea and bed for your own 6 month old is hardly a major feat is it - just part of everyday life?

On those grounds, YABU.

Shitehawk · 26/07/2008 18:31

Pamelat, he's not going to be doing it every Saturday night. Helping his parents out every now and then is a nice thing to do - it's what most of us do when we can.

There will be plenty of other Saturday nights when he will be able to bath the baby. There will be other Saturday nights when you sigh and wish things were as easy to handle as they are now, when you are on your own!

You would do it for your parents, I'm sure you would. Grit your teeth and be pleased you are married to a nice man who doesn't begrudge doing his family a favour every now and then.

And make sure he baths the baby and puts him to bed tomorrow night!

wheresthehamster · 26/07/2008 18:34

Forget the bath - it's not necessary. She's hardy been playing in mud all day

Original poster

pamelat · 26/07/2008 18:37

He's back

They didnt offer to pay petrol (which we would have refused, but would have been nice to have asked)

Their flight was 30 mins delayed but they never texted him (again not the crime of the century but its all about consideration - an international text only costs pence)

Anyway, as I knew I would I have mini moaned about it and he is now cross ... !

Oh well.

OP posts:

expatinscotland · 26/07/2008 18:42

YABU.

My parents are fairly well-off. When they fly in, the trip from the airport takes about 3 hours both ways and costs a bomb because of a ferry crossing in addition to petrol.

But it's not every day and we have two, soon to be three, young children to cope with.

wheresthehamster · 26/07/2008 18:44

pammy - please tell us you let him get through the door before you grilled him with those questions!!!

SqueakyPop · 26/07/2008 18:45

YABU - perhaps picking them up from the airport is his way of having a relationship with his parents.

You can't text from the flight btw, and your DH could have checked before leaving home.

LyraSilvertongue · 26/07/2008 18:47

DP died this once - he drove across London (nearly 2 hours) to pick up his dad and take him to the airport. He was gone for about four hours.
The main reason I minded was it was the day after we got back from a two-week holiday and I was left alone with all the unpacking, a mountain of washing, a three-month-old and a two-year-old.

LyraSilvertongue · 26/07/2008 18:48

did this, not died

oi · 26/07/2008 18:52

lol at wanting to be offered petrol money....err it's family and I assume your dh said yes! Why on earth would they offer petrol money! It's called doing someone a favour. It's lovely being collected from the airport by someone you know. Also, you can check the times of the flights on teletext or on the computer and he would have been able to see it was late as soon as he got to the airport. I think they may not have texted you before they took off because international flights can often make up time in the air so they wouldn't have known what time it was going to arrive.

I think you are being v unreasonable and sound unbelievably resentful (it's not that unusual you know, feeling resentful when you have a young child). Are you struggling on your own with the baby during the week?

Weegle · 26/07/2008 18:52

I think you need to apolgise to your DH. I think I'd feel a bit narked to walk in the door after a 3 hour drive to be got at by my other half, just for helping someone out.

oi · 26/07/2008 18:55

(although we are v self sufficient too and I find it can grate me when others aren't but not enough to piss me off)

Roboshua · 26/07/2008 18:55

This reminds of a similar issue in our house almost exactly 4 years ago. My mother-in-law lives abroad and was coming over at the same time I was due to give birth (an issue in itself!!). We live up North but for reasons best known to herself she decided to fly to London in stead. She expected her son to come and pick her up at six in the morning which he agreed to (only child, Mummy's boy) with no consideration for me. As it turned out I was due to be released from hospital the day before her plane was due and as my other half 'had things to get ready' and wanted to set off to London (with our 4 year old) he wanted me to get a taxi on my own with our newborn from the hospital home. As you can imagine that was a definite 'no' (accompanied by floods of post natal tears). However he still left me on my own to travel down to Londodn to pick her up despite the fact when she lived in London when she was in England and there was plenty of family and friends who could have picked her up with her getting a train later.

On your issue I do think you're being slightly unreasaonable. It's a one off and they are his parents. If he was going out with the lads or playing rugby every weekend I think you'd have some cause to complain.

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