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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU child disspaears in the middle of the night

40 replies

MumeeeeeeIneeeeedyouuuu · 26/07/2008 14:31

Had my daughters friend over for a sleepover last night and all went well they had a great time dancing about, playing and chatting as well as eating loads

Checked on them at 11.30 and all was well both cuddled up in their beds asleep, so headed to bed.

Woke up this morning at 9 to the girls mother on the doorstep, telling me the child had gone home in the middle of the night DD woke up/got up soon after.

Do I apologise for the fact that she left in the dead of the night and I didn't realise - as said checked on them before going to bed but didn't hear the door or her leave, have dogs but they were probably alseep

OP posts:
littleducks · 26/07/2008 14:33

how old are they? im not sure if you should apologise or if the child should, depends on age

ilovemydog · 26/07/2008 14:34

How old are the girls?

madamez · 26/07/2008 14:34

That's a mightily resourceful child. I don't think you have done anything wrong - sure ly you are not to be expected to crouch outside the bedroom all night in case a child absconds? You are allowed to sleep yourself. Were you warned that the visiting child was a sleepwalker or an absconder? Had she and your DD had a row or something?

mrschop · 26/07/2008 14:35

How old is she? tbh if it were my daughter that had come home from a sleepover I'd be livid (with her) that she'd wandered out in the middle of the night - she should have a better idea of what is safe and what is not. I'd not let her go to a sleepover again until I was sure she was old enough to understand that wandering around in the middle of the night is dangerous.

But I also always have the door locked overnight, partly to stop burglars getting in but also to stop my children (who are younger than yours by the sound of it) getting out.

Freckle · 26/07/2008 14:35

Was there any explanation from the girl as to why she had buggered off? Depending on her age, I might well be pretty hacked off that she'd done that. What was the mum's attitude? Was she cross with you or apologetic for her dd?

Sparkletastic · 26/07/2008 14:35

Age of girls clearly major factor but did you leave door unlocked / key in door? Maybe just a general security issue for you that this has highlighted...

Hecate · 26/07/2008 14:35

How did she get out of the house? Lesson learned is to not leave keys where kids can get them!

electricluluarella · 26/07/2008 14:40

i think a lot depends on age of child, why she went home, how she got home and if your door was locked

our house like fort knox, alarm, multiple locks and bolts etc.. i would be most impressed if a child could get out !

but joking apart, child should not have gone, and should have woken you if there was an isuse

Ready4anotherCoffee · 26/07/2008 14:43

how old is she?

how far did she travel?

Original poster
MumeeeeeeIneeeeedyouuuu · 26/07/2008 14:45

Oh sorry they are both 9 and the childs father cam and picked her up - we just have a normal front door which you open - never had the need to lock it - altough lock all other doors as you can open from outside.

OP posts:
ThingOne · 26/07/2008 14:47

Shit! What a nightmare. Time to keep the key on a hook where the children can't reach it.

electricluluarella · 26/07/2008 14:47

did she have a mobile phone with her?

why did she want to go home?

cannot imagine getting out of bed to collect my child from somewhere in the middle of the night unless it wa a dire emergency

Freckle · 26/07/2008 14:47

So how did the dad know to come and collect her and did it not occur to him to check that you knew what was happening?? Tbh I think I'd be more cross with him than her.

alicet · 26/07/2008 14:47

I am pretty gob smacked you don't lock your front door when you can open it from the outside.

But I'm even MORE gobsmacked (and for you that her dad came and picked her up without waking you to let you know or at the very least leaving you a note! What did he think you would do if you had woken and checked in the middle of the night and seen she was not there?!!

Why did he pick her up too?

StealthPolarBear · 26/07/2008 14:47

erm, the other side of this story is on anoter thread...

littleducks · 26/07/2008 14:48

I wouldnt be too happy with that, if he picked her up they should have woken you

Say if worse case scenario, there was a fire, you/your husband/firefighters could put your lives in danger trying to save a child who wasn't there.

madamez · 26/07/2008 14:48

Link please - this sounds v odd...

alicet · 26/07/2008 14:49

SPB link to other thread please for some perspective on this somewhat strange situation...

muggglewump · 26/07/2008 14:49

That's weird.
She phoned her Dad in the middle of the night and the Dad didn't think to wake you up?

StealthPolarBear · 26/07/2008 14:50

searching now

morningpaper · 26/07/2008 14:50

How did her father pick her up if her mother arrived on the doorstep?

What a nightmare!!! But yes next time I would lock everything up! Ours is like Fort Knox too.....

ThatBigGermanPrison · 26/07/2008 14:50

TROLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

StealthPolarBear · 26/07/2008 14:50

here

morningpaper · 26/07/2008 14:53

hehe well at least both threads are in agreement

alicet · 26/07/2008 14:54

Can see both sides. Still think dad was well out of order for not making sure the parents knew.