Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

MIL let my newborn gum her breast AAAARRRRGHHH

101 replies

knockedup · 24/07/2008 15:30

Gave birth 2 weeks ago. Outlaws have been here for a week "helping me"....yeah right (last night I put DD1 to bed, had to stop reading her stories to go check the dinner I was making...ran back up stairs, finally got DD down, ran back down served up dinner to M&FIL who were sat in front of corrie, DH out with work!! MIL hasn't stopped holding baby since being here...I'm starving, just about to eat my dinner and MIL is like 'think she's hungry look she's been trying to get milk from me' hee hee hee and when I looked there was a big damp patch on MIL's top where her nipple is

So I take baby upstairs to feed her absolutely spitting under my breath about MIL's step too far.

Then coming back downstairs to my cold dinner MIL snatches baby out of my arms before I'm even off the stairs and then that's her snuggled up on the sofa with baby until I had to ask to have her back to try and put her to bed

I feel like I'm living in LITTLE BRITAIN right now!!!

I've had to ask her a few times to put baby down as I don't want her held morning to night all day. She snaps back that 'you can't spoil babies with love' - No? well it wasn't as easy as it has been to settle her last night in her moses basket. She's probably thinking 'where's my constant cuddling?'

DH came in about 12pm stinking of beer. I'd gone to bed, he sat up with the outlaws for a bit then when he finally came up and got into bed I kicked him in the shins and hissed at him that his mother is a freaking psycho and she is NEVER staying here for over a week ever again. AIBU?

OP posts:
Kewcumber · 24/07/2008 15:32

oh dear. When are they leaving?

wotulookinat · 24/07/2008 15:34

They're not really helping, are they? Ask them to leave. Sounds like you need some time with your baby.

RubySlippers · 24/07/2008 15:34

they need to go and NOW

NigellaTheOriginal · 24/07/2008 15:34

fraid so but also perhaps a little hormonal.
new babys do nuzzle at anything boob shaped.
although MIl could maybe put down baby occasioally if you ask her to.
thought from post title she'd actually latched her on - now that would be an AIBU!

VaginaShmergina · 24/07/2008 15:35

Oh dear, she thinks she is being helpful, but she is not. Being helpful when there is a newborn in the house is doing the shopping, hoovering, washing, ironing, tidying up blah blah blah.

When are they going ?

RubySlippers · 24/07/2008 15:36

you see helping to me would be MIL making dinner while i soaked in a bath

you aren't resting are you?

MeMySonAndI · 24/07/2008 15:36

I would pretend they are not there, and I would not allow her to hold him even, but then that is my unreasonable self talking.

If your DH is going to invite them for long periods he shoul make a better effort on dealing with them.

crokky · 24/07/2008 15:37

You sound like you are fine and don't need any help anyway. MIL and FIL must go.

I don't like the idea of wet patch by MIL's nipple. In fact, that's FUCKING GROSS!

louii · 24/07/2008 15:39

My Ds used to latch on and suck on anything when he was a newborn, i thought by post she had her boob out so i think you are being unreasonable.

thebecster · 24/07/2008 15:40

Yikes. They're too early and they're staying too long. Can you ask them straight out to leave & come back when you've had some time alone to bond with your baby?

nervousal · 24/07/2008 15:40

as said above its normal for little babies to nuzzle and try to find a boob anywhere when they are hungry - I don't think its gross at all. What WOULD have been gross would have been if your MIL had her boobie out - ewwww

VaginaShmergina · 24/07/2008 15:40

Yeah and another thing DH rolling home at 12pm from the pub....... a new baby in the house and he probably thinks coz Ma and Pa are around he can go on the lash.

3littlefrogs · 24/07/2008 15:41

They are not helping. They are hindering and they need to leave NOW. Your DH needs more than a kick in the shins IMO.

My inlaws were just like this. Drove me mad. Makes me feel very for you.

Cies · 24/07/2008 15:42

YANBU. You need to get DH on the case (and what is he doing coming in at midnight stinking of beer? )

They should be helping by shopping, cooking, tidying, running errands etc.

geekgirl · 24/07/2008 15:43

as has already been pointed out, newborns will try to suckle on anything.
Your MIL sounds like she means well and obviously loves her grandchild, which is lovely
And I agree with her that you can't hold a 2 week old baby 'too much'.

Having said all that, I think anyone would have driven me insane if they'd stayed for over a week so soon after the birth and I would haveprobably get f*cked off just with the way they breathe or drink their tea!

hanaflower · 24/07/2008 15:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

geekgirl · 24/07/2008 15:43

'got' even

LIZS · 24/07/2008 15:44

I think you may be overreacting (it's not like she offered her nipple as a dummy !) but that is perfectly natural 2 weeks pp and when you want your own space to establish your own method and habits. To an extent your mil is right, cuddling her now won't create a difficulty long term but you quite rightly want to do things your way and feel free to try things out as you wish. You need your dh to support you thogh, not use their presence as an excuse to go out on the lash -talk to him and tell him they must go , and soon.

wabbit · 24/07/2008 15:45

Congratulations for a start

Outlaws just so not helpful - I'd plonk yourself on the sofa (or in bed with your lovely new baby) and order people around from there - practice with requests for tea and biscuits and eventually you'll arive at changing beds and ironing

they'll soon be gone

3littlefrogs · 24/07/2008 15:45

If they wre prepared to cook, shop, clean, run errands or even entertain older child then maybe that would be tolerable. But if they are anything like mine, all of that would be out of the question. All mine wanted to do was to hold the baby constantly - snatching him out of his cot even if he was asleep - and be entertained and waited on hand and foot.

beanieb · 24/07/2008 15:46

I thik a bit of dribble on her tee-shirt is likely to happen, her comment was a bit off though.

In general though I think you are mad for letting tehm come up a week after the baby was born... I'd wait a month!

Bumdiddley · 24/07/2008 15:49

How long does a newborn have to try to suckle to leave a wet patch

It's your baby and you'll ask for your help when it's needed not the other way round.

Dh needs to tell them to leave and spend time with you.

Bumdiddley · 24/07/2008 15:49

How long does a newborn have to try to suckle to leave a wet patch

It's your baby and you'll ask for your help when it's needed not the other way round.

Dh needs to tell them to leave and spend time with you.

Bumdiddley · 24/07/2008 15:50

Oh, I always wandered how people managed to post things twice - now I how!

LIZS · 24/07/2008 15:51

It doesn't take long !

Swipe left for the next trending thread