MIL let my newborn gum her breast AAAARRRRGHHH

[knockedup]

Gave birth 2 weeks ago. Outlaws have been here for a week "helping me"....yeah right (last night I put DD1 to bed, had to stop reading her stories to go check the dinner I was making...ran back up stairs, finally got DD down, ran back down served up dinner to M&FIL who were sat in front of corrie, DH out with work!! MIL hasn't stopped holding baby since being here...I'm starving, just about to eat my dinner and MIL is like 'think she's hungry look she's been trying to get milk from me' hee hee hee and when I looked there was a big damp patch on MIL's top where her nipple is

So I take baby upstairs to feed her absolutely spitting under my breath about MIL's step too far.

Then coming back downstairs to my cold dinner MIL snatches baby out of my arms before I'm even off the stairs and then that's her snuggled up on the sofa with baby until I had to ask to have her back to try and put her to bed

I feel like I'm living in LITTLE BRITAIN right now!!!

I've had to ask her a few times to put baby down as I don't want her held morning to night all day. She snaps back that 'you can't spoil babies with love' - No? well it wasn't as easy as it has been to settle her last night in her moses basket. She's probably thinking 'where's my constant cuddling?'

DH came in about 12pm stinking of beer. I'd gone to bed, he sat up with the outlaws for a bit then when he finally came up and got into bed I kicked him in the shins and hissed at him that his mother is a freaking psycho and she is NEVER staying here for over a week ever again. AIBU?

It just sounds to me like the MIL enjoyed it

Tell them to piss off home and get your DH to help look after HIS children.
No one needs to have extended family around 'helping' two weeks after the birth. You'd be better off managing alone!

I would pop the baby in a sling so MIL can't get her hands on him. Get her to do some house work she should be helping or she ban bugger off home.

Sorry, it's your DH who you should be fed up with not your ILs. If they aren't helping much (why are they there in that case??) he should be there in the evenings getting meals and doing the housework. It's your job to sit there and enjoy your baby.

Not sure what MIL was supposed to say/do when baby was searching for the breast. Sounds normal to me.

sorry, but am sniggering here right now...because, when I read the title I had this image that your mil was sitting bare breasted and letting your Baby gum her breast....now, that would really have been out of order...and ratehr little Britain....as it is, I don't think it was gross or weird, tbh....

However, they are obviously not helping you, are they....and that is somehting you should NOT have to put up with....(although, your mil seems quite modern in her approach, as most people of previous generations seem to think you can spoil a newborn by holding).
I am wondering though, do they live futhter away and therefore won't be able to have much contact with you in the foreseeable future, and is that maybe why she wan't to get as many cuddles as possible in?

Your dh should definately talk to them though, as helping you would mean that mil helps with the chores, rather than just cuddling.

Message withdrawn

Your ILs are clearly annoying you just by being alive at the moment - fair enough. A two week stay from ANYONE would get on my nerves to the point where I was homicidal so your dh should gently tell them that their time is up and they can come and visit for a couple of hours next time. HOWEVER - if you should be cross with anyone regarding the totally harmless wet patch, then surely it should be your baby? After all, she did the nuzzling. Every awake newborn I've ever held rooted for milk on me. It's not pervy or anything

Agree re the cuddling. You absolutely cannot spoil a newborn.

Yuck! yes, babies will try and suck anything, but it does take a bit of time to make a damp spot, does it not?

Get them out. You should not be having to share DS at this stage.

Like crack fox's sling idea

Your MIL is quite right that your baby can't be cuddled too much - but it's you who should be doing the cuddling! She should be doing everything else so you can have some 'bonding' time

Sit on sofa and cry that you're tired and noone is helping ...

they will either

1. actually help

2. be uppity that 'their' version of helping has been rejected and leave

either way you get what you need ...

I'm with bumdiddly in that it must take quite a bit of suckling (even tho newborns do try at anything) to create a damp patch and the MIL should've found you straight away and said ... sit down, feed baby and actualy relax, what can i do for oyu ...

well said igivein!

Tell them that if they are there to "help" then they should start helping. Show them the laundry, washing up and vacuum and get them on it. If they don't want to help, they can go home. You HAVE to stand up for yourself.

If your DH asks why you said what you did, tell him you assumed he wasn't bothered, spending all his time getting pissed and whatnot

For one thing, don't cook dinner! If they ask about it point them in the direction of the kitchen - I cannot believe they expect you to cook them dinner! I was fecking knackered after having my ds and I didn't have an older child to see to as well! Just make sure you've got some handy snacks around so you don't go hungry!

YABU.

MIL did nothing wrong re the cuddling at all. I agree with her - sorry.

However, ypu should be sat on sofa with baby and everyone else should be doing the rest...including your DH.

Change the locks.

And divorce your husband, he sounds utterly selfish.

buy a sling for the baby then she cant get her hands (or boob ) near him .

Your dh is the twat,not your mil. Crikey, it could be worse, she could have given her a bottle!

all babies nuzzle and root and suck anything remotely breast like... so YABU, not like she took out her breasts and tried to get him latched on.. DD tried very hard once to get a feed out of my dad's nose

however, i would be very p*ssed off that DH is treating this as a reason to go out on the lash and that no-one is actually helping you. that would be something to be cross about

you cannot hold a 2 week old baby too much, but i think you need space to get into your own baby zone

you need to take to your bed, with DD in your PJS and not move

& at the amount of venom directed against the op's MIL on here.

Almost all of us will be someone's MIL one day...

I think you are being OTT re the bby leaving wet patch on MIL's top. I spend half my day on a Monday covered in damp patches from where I look after my friend's DS. This was even more so when he was ver little and I spent time wth friend and DS. It's just what babies do. It takes very little time to end up soggy from a nuzzling baby IME. Definitely nothing gross there.

And she is right - you can't spil a baby with love and too much cuddling, especially when they are so little. That's what babies are for!

MIl does sound like she is going a bit OTT with the baby though, and being far too clingy with him, not giving you enough space. And that isn;t good. Yu r DH should be helping you del with them, and asking her to back off a bit.

I think it is probably time for the in laws to go home now and leave you to it.

And you need to kick DH into touch - he needs to realise he is a daddy now and start acting like one, and supporting you far more.

Jeez at the very least announce that you are just exhausted and will not be cooking or cleaning for the rest of the month. Then take baby to bed with you and lock your door. Or put a chair up against it.

And I agree, divorce your husband! lol

Congratulations! it is a shame your first weeks are being mired by this, but sorry I am missing the point a bit?

Grab your children and say what's what. Tell PILs to do bath and books and you'll finish off. Tell DP to stop farking about and spend time with his family.

Either tell PILs to piss off politely or accommodate them by giving them explicit instructions to look after older dc.

As for suckling at MIL. tbh any lovely newborn will root about at anyone. Sort it out and make sure it is you baby is rooting at.

It would be a shame to remember these first weeks badly or to resent PILss forevermore because of it.