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Original poster

Strange neighbour!

107 replies

emmared1980 · 23/07/2008 20:17

Hi, just wondering what you all think, I've 4 children ages 6,5,2 and 9months we live in a semi detached house with lovely neighbours on one side. But... on the other side of us (detached) we've got a lady in her 70's who is ok but slightly odd. She says hello but that's about it. The problem is she has been taking photos and videoing my children when they've been playing in the garden whilst sort of hideing behind the hedge!!! It happened a couple of weeks ago while the 2 older children were playing, in the end I made them come inside as I wasn't really sure what to do! The 3 older children have been out playing again today and tonight while they were having a bath my 5year old daughter said that she had been taking photos of her again. I had told them after the first time that if they see her again they have to come and tell me, she didn't and I think that's because she thought she'd have to come in again as that is what happened last time. I thought it was very odd, my husband and mother thought maybe she was lonely but something makes me feel very uncomfortable about it. I'm just wondering what would you do if you were me??? As they are on school holidays they will be out in the garden alot and I don't want her creeping about taking pics/videoing them. Thanks for any replies.

OP posts:
MmeLindt · 23/07/2008 20:20

Sounds a bit strange. Could you go around and say that the children have noticed that she has been taking photos of them and that you are not too happy about it?

If she was lonely, wouldn't she try to engage you/your DCs in conversation?

Were your DCs doing anything that she might not like? Could she be gathering "evidence"?

KT14 · 23/07/2008 20:21

OMG that is very odd behaviour.. perhaps she is extremely lonely, or has a psychological condition, but I think I'd need to know, for my peace of mind, what she is doing with the pictures and footage she's taking of your children.
If it were a man doing it, I'd assume it'd be a police matter, I'm not sure if it should be any different for a woman. Maybe you could contact Citizens Advice Bureau, or even the council and see if they can advise..

Twiglett · 23/07/2008 20:22

I'm not sure I understand what harm she's doing?

if it bothers you go and talk to her and ask her why she's doing it and whether she'd mind stopping

fizzbuzz · 23/07/2008 20:32

I think you need to talk to her.

Not sure where it stands legally mind. I wasn't allowed to take a photo of dd is the swimming baths, so there must be some sort of law about it..........

Original poster
emmared1980 · 23/07/2008 20:44

Hi thanks for replying so quickly. I don't think she could be gathering ''evidence'' as they were only playing, I'm not saying they were silent but they weren't running around like loonies either! and me saying that annoys myself as I think they are children playing in their own garden they should be allowed to do that! And then I think she's not really doing anything, but what is she doing with the photo's and video??? I'm a bit of a whimp and I think I know I'm going to have to say something but am not sure how or what to say!

OP posts:
itati · 23/07/2008 20:46

Go round and ask her why she is videoing your children and taking photos of them in their own garden. You are not happy about it and you would like all copies now.

She IS doing harm as she has made you uncomfortable and has spoilt your children's fun as they have had to come in, and now they are too scared to tell you again in case they have to come in. What else could she have been doing that they don't want to tell you. Not on at all.

Desiderata · 23/07/2008 20:50

Why are you posting here? Just go around and ask her why she's doing it.

fizzbuzz · 23/07/2008 20:51

It is also intrusion of privacy..Crikey if someone was doing this to my dd I'd be furious........Just go and knock on her door and ask her why she is doing it.

She is successfully imitidating your kids and that is WRONG

KT14 · 23/07/2008 20:57

I'd find it awkward too but my curiosity would win over. I'd just go round and say that the children had noticed her taking pictures of them a few times, and you were wondering why as you don't know her very well, ask if they've been doing something which has upset her (am sure they haven't but it might get her talking). Stay calm and pleasant and there may well be some sort of semi rational explanation, or perhaps she is suffering from dementia and doesn't quite realise what she's doing (I have 2 grandparents with Alzheimers and that causes all manner of odd and inexplicable behaviour.)

Am sure it's nothing sinister, but it's definitely peculiar, and more so given that she's trying to hide what she's doing, rather than just befriending you all and watching them play legitimately.

itati · 23/07/2008 21:00

No way! Do not give her an excuse to blame your kids.

She is taking video and photos of YOUR kids without permission. Go round there and sort it out!

KT14 · 23/07/2008 21:07

Yes, probably just best to just go and ask her why the feck she's lurking around in hedgerows filming your kids without putting any words in her mouth. And then let us know what it's all about. Am v curious now..

Love2bake · 23/07/2008 21:09

If she is doing it again tomorrow, you could maybe 'catch her in the act', so to speak. Or just go round.

Either way you need to ask whats going on. I would not like this one bit if it were me.

Very odd IMO

bluewolf · 23/07/2008 21:11

me too. I had a neighbour like this when I was growing up. She was batty and just did it to intimidate the family I think. Mind you, this was before all ther paedo stuff now - ask her and report back! Immediately!!!

Sim43 · 23/07/2008 21:22

Get a camera ready and then when you see her taking pictures, jump out and take one of her, see what she thinks to that! It is very weird indeed. I would have been round there by now.

honeybehappy · 23/07/2008 21:43

next time you know shes doing it go and knock stright away and hopefully she will come to the door holding the camera.
So she cannot deny it.

theexmrsfederer · 23/07/2008 22:08

This is a bit rich when some poor bloke recently was accused of being a paedophile for filming his own children!

Weird in the extreme.

Original poster
emmared1980 · 24/07/2008 13:03

Okay, the kids are on their way out to play in the garden. I have told them to come and tell me if they see her with a camera or video.

OP posts:
beanieb · 24/07/2008 13:05

Do you think that maybe she is trying to get 'evidence' to go and complain about noise levels?

nappyaddict · 24/07/2008 13:08

i would just go and ask her.

windygalestoday · 24/07/2008 13:09

i think you should phone the police and ask their advice, then i think you and your dh should go round and voice your concern - what she is doing is weirdy and it mke you uncomfortable and you need to address it pronto - how do you know shes not a paedo? they come in all sexes sizes and shapes and this behaviour is not normal.

windygalestoday · 24/07/2008 13:10

i think you should mention it to your neighbours on the other side too if theyve been there longer than you they will have a better idea of what shes like.

MeMySonAndI · 24/07/2008 13:14

Bear in mind that in generations past children were community treasures to be celebrated, protected and even corrected by the other adults in the area. PErhaps the poor woman has just testing her new camera and thought they were a lovely subject.

If you are uneasy about it, ask. But as some others have already said not worth it to make a hill out of mole hole.

ANTagony · 24/07/2008 13:16

She could be very lonely and your hellos with the children who she no doubt seen growing up could be the closest thing shes got to family. I know that theres lots of nasty stuff in the world in the media but we here more about the nasty than the good.

She may want to have photos to show off at her old ladies group of the lovely kids next door and how they're growing up fast. Not much on TV for a not to active 70 yr old. She may like the videos to make her smile (not in a nasty sexual way in a theres nothing better than kids for pure innocent happiness), better than the depressing news - stabbings, guns, violence. Nothing gives me more pleasure than watching my kids and their friends grow up and play happily and healthily together.

Do talk to her I can understand it seams odd but its not necessarily evil - do it quickly because it'll build up in your mind other wise.

caykon · 24/07/2008 13:16

If it were me I would find that very strange, and a 6ft fence would be going up that side of the garden, let her take pictures of that.

windygalestoday · 24/07/2008 13:17

its the fact that she only says hello and hides to video/photograph them that makes me feel uneasy

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