Strange neighbour!

[emmared1980]

Hi, just wondering what you all think, I've 4 children ages 6,5,2 and 9months we live in a semi detached house with lovely neighbours on one side. But... on the other side of us (detached) we've got a lady in her 70's who is ok but slightly odd. She says hello but that's about it. The problem is she has been taking photos and videoing my children when they've been playing in the garden whilst sort of hideing behind the hedge!!! It happened a couple of weeks ago while the 2 older children were playing, in the end I made them come inside as I wasn't really sure what to do! The 3 older children have been out playing again today and tonight while they were having a bath my 5year old daughter said that she had been taking photos of her again. I had told them after the first time that if they see her again they have to come and tell me, she didn't and I think that's because she thought she'd have to come in again as that is what happened last time. I thought it was very odd, my husband and mother thought maybe she was lonely but something makes me feel very uncomfortable about it. I'm just wondering what would you do if you were me??? As they are on school holidays they will be out in the garden alot and I don't want her creeping about taking pics/videoing them. Thanks for any replies.

Antagony- I'm not sure I think she is some paedo but it is just very odd. She is not the sort to go to old ladies groups etc and like I said she doesn't really talk to us or the children apart from a hello. All the other neighbours are very friendly with us and the children as we are to them.

just call the police - they'll know what to do. If it was a man you wouldn't think twice about calling them, would you?

i think the police too ,its just bizarre isnt it?

She has no right to take photos of your children because they are in a private place (your garden). Of course it's always best if things can be resolved informally by speaking to her, but if speaking to her doesn't help the next step would be to contact your Neighbourhood Policing Team to ask their advice. It would be possible to get an anti-social behaviour order (ASBO)to forbid her from taking photos/filming your children. This is a civil order, so she wouldn't get a criminal record, but breaching the order is an offence and she would then be dealt with by the courts. I should imagine if she's a generally law abiding old lady the threat of an ASBO would frighten the bejeebers out of her and you'd have no more trouble (but I don't think you'd get a Christmas card either!)

Just knock on her door and ask her why she's doing it.

She's just taken another 2 photos, the children asked her why she was taking pictures and she said ''I'm only going to take one, have a big smile''. She has gone back inside now but I will speak to her when she comes out again.

dont wait go to her door and ask this is weirdy

What's happening - have you spoken to her yet?

She is probably a lonely old lady with no family. Have you ever seen any family? She may be living vicariously through those photos.

I wouldn't like it. I think you should be very careful how you speak to her - but do speak to her - I find this sad rather that creepy.

I would just go and speak to her. You can imagine all sorts but until you ask you won't know. If you are unhappy with what she says then you could take it further but until then I wouldn't be harsh, as others have said its weird but its more likely to be the actions of a lonely old biddy rather than a raging paedo.

Prob justa batty old bird taking pics of the cute kids, just go and ask her what the story is. No big deal really.

I think I would call the police, tbh, but only because I wouldn't be brave enough to go around myself.

Why have you not been round yet?

Is it naive to suggest you invite her round for a friendly cup of tea and to watch the children play in the garden. Maybe she's very lonely - and very shy?

Sounds like a very sad lonely woman who deserves sympathy and not the spanish inquisition.

Well did u go and see her????

Calling the police to an elderly neighbour would frighten her a great deal . Please speak with her.

just go over and talk to the dear old lady, she's probably just v lonely, don't read so much into, honestly.

ffs, will the OP just come back and tell us what happened

Sorry!!! Well by the time the kids had come to tell me she had gone in! The kids carried on playing in the garden and she didn't come out again. I've decided the best thing to do is approach her next time she is in the garden and sa something like this ''hi Mrs X the children have said that you've taken some photos of them in the garden a couple of times and I'm just wondering why?'' after her reply I'll say ''well to be honest I'm not comftable with you taking photos of them so I'd appreiciate it if you'd stop.'' Firm but polite. Then if I see her taking any more of them in the future I would have to take it further.

< phew >

emma i think thats a fab way of hndling it.

Still think it would be best to actually go round to see her, in a friendly way, and talk to her about it. Wouldn't that be more neighbourly and be more likely to put her at ease? I agree she is certainly acting in a strange way but there may be a reason why which she is more likely to feel able to tell you than if she knows you're angry. (which I would be aswell, by the way, I'd just not let her see that till I had reason to!!)

Given the age of your neighbour it might be possible that she has early alzheimers or some other form of dementia. My grandmother had this and it made her very paranoid. Do you know if she has any family around? If so I'd mention it to them, failing that go to the police.