To be annoyed by mothers who make a big show of crying at the nursery but...

[Gateau]

Yes, they can't wait to tell anyone who will listen how they couldn't stop crying for the first few weeks of dropping off LO at nursery. And then, hey, before you know it, they're skipping off on a weekend away with DH - and LO is left high and dry at home with the grandparents. And there is not a word about it.

In 16 years I have left my dcs with their grandparents about 3 times while dh and I 'skipped' off.

SKIPPED OFF?! Who i am kidding? It required copious amounts of planning and lists and fretting('What if the planne crashes?') and on and on and on.

There were times when I wondered if it was worth it...

One of the trips was though

But I never told anyone at nursery how I was feeling so how would you know?

Crying at nursery isn't just about leaving them. It's also because it's a change in yours and your child's life. End/start of an era. I bawled my eyes out yesterday when DS#1 left primary school - not because he will be unhappy at secondary but because it's the end of a significant stage of his childhood.

The first time I felt my DCs with anyone overnight I was a trifle wobbly but not the second time. (not that it's happened more than 2 or 3 times )

I was talking about day nursery, Balloon. People on here are getting theirknickers in a twist, as usual and getting it all wrong.
I KNOW lots of women get genuinely upset about leaving their little ones. I'm nott talking abouut them.
I'm talking about the ones I know who have made a show if it for weeks and weeks - because it's the "done thing" but then don't seem to think anything of leaving the LOs for a whole weekend.
I'm not slamming weekends away either!!!
Are you ever sorry you started something??!

I bloody well skipped off to a 5 star hotel with dh for 3 nights the weekend before last. No crying at all, except with relief at the peace and the time together.

I know what people mean about feeling sad when a section of a child's life ends and another begins. Dd is going to school in Sept and I will think oh, there's her babyhood gone, that's understandable.

But I think what OP is saying is:

nursery = crying
grandparents = not crying, therefore bad mother

to which I say bullshit. I don't do mother martydom though.

But what's wrong with 'not thinking anything' of leaving DC for a weekend with grandparents? Regardless of whether these women were crying about nursery genuinely or 'for show'.

Lol gateau

You're wrong in all your reckonings wicked, so don't bother trying to work out what I am "trying" to say

But Gateau how do you know they 'made a show' of crying? And surely you've got to admit that small children spending time with their grandparents is hardly an occasion for a parent to cry?

dd2 cried yesterday, at the prospect of spending 3 nights at her grandparents'.

she told me on the phone last night she was having a lovely time, will be making blackberry ice cream today.

no martyrs here either

I don't think there's anything wrong with leaving children with gps.

You posted Gateau, I'm afraid people will therefore try to work out what you're trying to say. You're welcome to try to correct them if they're wrong!

dd2 v good at crying

I can't be bothered. It's obviously better to "speak" in RL about what I mean. It gets really twisted on here. I have spoken to friends about it before and they understand what I'm talking about.

Are you one of those mothers that does not want their dcs to form any kind of close relationship with anyone other than you (father, grandparents, carers?)

Really don't get the high and dry thing, forming a close relationship with grandparents is so life-enhancing and such a shame that inter-generational relationships are less common these days.
YABVU

you mean in RL you can do more

What ARE you on about Bundle?

Gateau, I assume you are talking about one particular mother who you don't believe was upset about sending her dc to nursery? But pretended she was? But then didn't bother pretending that she was upset about leaving her dc for a weekend away? I see.

You made it sound a lot more general than that, imo. Hence the response

lol Gateau
that will teach you to post your musings in AIBU
no need to insult people though

(Visions of hordes of mothers wailing and gnashing their teeth and wringing their hands at the nursery door)

You got it Tiger - nearly. Phew - thank you.
Not one mother, though. A few..

Gateau, well then you need to try and express yourself better, in the written form.
This comes from someone who is very bad at this. And often has to repost saying, sorry that is not what I meant. I mean this....
No point getting arsy about it.

"That will teach you....."
Excuse me?

can you not see the difference between leaving a child at nursery and leaving a child with grandparents?

or are you just a teeny bit jealous?

fwiw dd asks to go to nursery every day, she only goes 2 afternoons.

she also asks to go to her grandma's house and her auntie's house. she will be left with them for our anniversary when we go away for 5* luxury.

she will have fun, we will have fun, auntie/grandma will have fun. what's the problem?

I'm just madly jealous of anyone who has someone to take their kids for the weekend.

"skipping off' "left high and dry".

You need to get out more and enjoy your own life and stop worrying about others who are lucky enough to be able to go away for a weekend with their DH leaving the kids to have fun with doting grandparents.

Oh, and I was incredibly relieved to leave my four month old with a childminder, actually, so shoot me, eh?