To be annoyed by mothers who make a big show of crying at the nursery but...

[Gateau]

Yes, they can't wait to tell anyone who will listen how they couldn't stop crying for the first few weeks of dropping off LO at nursery. And then, hey, before you know it, they're skipping off on a weekend away with DH - and LO is left high and dry at home with the grandparents. And there is not a word about it.

Mine love going to grandparents - they get thoroughly spoilt and have a wonderful time. But then that's probably because they get cocopops for breakfast and chocolate spread sandwiches for lunch!

yea .....

got bored, lol.

But my point is: how can they be REALLy upset at leaving LO for one day and then don't mind leaving their kids for a whole weekend?

It isn't that hard to understand.

I went back to work when dd was 6 months old. I cried buckets when I left her at nursery. It wasn't a show - I was genuinely devastated.

I was also knackered (still am ). A weekend away without dd would have done me the world of good. I never got one though. Shame, it might have helped stave off the depression that crept up on me because I was trying to do everything with no respite.

nursery's different - it's a sign of the child leaving the family fold and having a life of its own - separate from you, with people who will be strangers - albeit for a short while
high and dry? nice
FWIW, i was really excited by DS starting nursery, and so was he, and he loves it there...didn't shed a tear, i was just glad he was having a new experience, different to the one he has with me and DP

Yes, generally I leve SDS1&2 with my mum when I have a fun social occasion to attend (or just that I need an afternoon off so I can put my face in the blender or something)`

AH! Just read thread and realised what you're REALLY saying is:

It IS Ok to leave a baybee at a nursery if you HAVE to, to work

BUT

it is NOT OK to leave a baybee with grandparents just because you want to go and have lots of sex in a great hotel with your husband?

I see. YABU then.

Actually, I lover taking DS1 toi nursery nowm, because he loves it so much. The first time was a wrench though

Maybe they were TTC the next child? And couldn't with a wakeful small child in the house?

(oh no Sheik, come back, baby come back!)

I don't understand the connection between the 2.
So one prevents/inhibits the other ?
I think not.

There is no connection.
They are apples and oranges

What the op really wants to do is have a go at people who leave their children anywhere for any reason with anyone. I tihnk.

Or perhaps their marriage was in trouble and they needed some time alone to sort things out

Perhaps they hadn't had a shag made lurve in aaaaages and needed some time alone?

Are you hatching a plan Tigerfeet?

Did you mean day nursery or pre-school though, Gateau?

FWIW I was SO looking forward to my - at the time - youngest starting pre-school so I could at last have some time to myself. (Having never had a night away, and only I think 2 or 3 couple-of-hour breaks from either of them.)

I said this to another Mum who replied: "I agree but I'd be careful who you say that to if I were you."

Turned out she had noticed that some mums at the school/pre-school thought it was very bad form not to be upset at your lo starting at pre-school. It was apparently the "done thing" to be very sad indeed.

I skipped with joy the first day ds started pre school

I love my children more than anything

BUT

I do not wish to spend every waking moment with them

This does not make me callous, or a rubbish parent, it makes me someone who needs a break from my children from time to time.

I wouldn't spend all day every day with DP, so why should I spend the sme with my kids.

That is where my mother and nursery comes in.

My children LOVE going to granny's because she takes them out and they eat thier body weight in sweets, PLUS they come back with new toys more often than not. My mum loves it because she loves spending time with them DP and I like it because we can go to the pub and get drunk.

Everyone's a winner, non?

I wait with baited breath for the first day of term, Sept 2009, when DS1 starts school. It cannot come quick enough for me, or him for that matter.

The first time I dropped DS off for his settling in session I spent the next half hour pacing the streets nervous as hell, but I didn't cry (and neither did he!).

Even so, nursery and grandparents are obviously different things! Although am a bit at people equating nursery with coal-sheds at grandparents houses!

I cried when I left dd2 at the nursery for the first few times. It seemed such a large scarey place for her.

I never cried though when I've left her with her grandparents for a night.

WWW

Well I would, but people might not approve. Obviously if I abandon dd and it upsets me to do so, I'm not entitled to a weekend away .

You know it's a funny thing but I am going to be gutted when dd goes to school in September. I'll actually be seeing more of her - reduced childcare bills = less money required = less hours at work and more at home. But I will still blub like mad when she goes, even though I will be at home while she is at school two days a week and will have time to have a crap in peace myself for the first time since she was born. It's a growing up, rite of passage thing isn't it? My baby isn't a baby any more [sob][wail]

I didn;t equate it witha a coal shed.

I said "It'sd a bit different to locking them in a coal shed, you know"

This that I don't eqiuate a coal shed with nursey/grandparents