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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be pissed off with another mother at a party

45 replies

tegan · 12/07/2008 09:05

I went to pick dd1 (10) up from a birthday party last night.
party meant to finish at 7 but was told to comeback later as the kids were having fun.
went back at 7.30 and dd1 wasn't impressed that i had come to collect her but i had dd2 to get to bed.
on entering the house the mother of the party girl was giving fake/spray tattoos, i said i would prefer it if dd didn't have one due to her having skin problems to which the mother got really shitty and slammed the door behind me as we left.

Surely she should of asked parents if they minded their kids having such things done?

OP posts:
Freckle · 12/07/2008 09:06

Seems a bit of an over-reaction to a simple request. Maybe the children had been having fun but the mum hadn't??

Greyriverside · 12/07/2008 09:08

Maybe you were not tactful enough given that she had spent a long time entertaining your child. Maybe you should have supplied a list of problems up front. This stuff is normal for kids. How was anyone to know?

Original poster
tegan · 12/07/2008 09:09

no this mother is a real kid who needs to grow up. she is very anti disapline and as such has unruly kids. she even asked if dd could sleep the night when i have never even had a conversation with the woman.

OP posts:
Original poster
tegan · 12/07/2008 09:10

my exact words to the mother was "i would prefer it if xxx didn't have that done if you don't mind as she has skin problems" should i really of been more tactful?

OP posts:
ChippyMinton · 12/07/2008 09:16

What would you have done/said if your daughter had already had the tattoo done?

cornsilk · 12/07/2008 09:21

I think the mother overreacted. Perfectly reasonable request. Slamming the door behind you? Rude.

Original poster
tegan · 12/07/2008 10:01

I would of been miffed but obviously with dd for having the it done when she knows how severly she reacts to things.

OP posts:
hunkermunker · 12/07/2008 10:04

Could be the door just slammed and you're reading too much into it.

Could be she did as you said and you're thinking about it far too much.

As long as you haven't a holiday booked with her, I don't think it matters, really.

2shoes · 12/07/2008 10:14

By tegan on Sat 12-Jul-08 09:09:16
no this mother is a real kid who needs to grow up. she is very anti disapline and as such has unruly kids. she even asked if dd could sleep the night when i have never even had a conversation with the woman.

so if you have such a low opinion of her why did you let her look after you child?

CristinaTheAstonishing · 12/07/2008 10:25

"she is very anti disapline" How can you know her views on discipline is you've never had a conversation with her?

Sobernow · 12/07/2008 10:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
tegan · 12/07/2008 10:31

our children have been in the same class since reception and i have close professional ties to the school so i know alot regarding the family.

yes i wasn't keen on dd going but she spoke to dh who agreed she could go and i agreed as long as i didn't have to take or collect her but dh got called in to work.

The mother slammed the door deliberately and was commenting to the other children regarding over protective parents (window was open i heard)

I am objective and can see exactly where you are coming from.

OP posts:
ChippyMinton · 12/07/2008 11:16

yanbu
i saw horrible photos yesterday of a boy who had a big swirly henna tattoo on his arm, and now has a big swirly infected scar on his arm. He begged and pleaded an dhis mum finally gave in, against her better judgement

macdoodle · 12/07/2008 11:21

even asked if dd could sleep the night

oh she didn't how horrid and terrible of her - she's 10 FGS not 2

nailpolish · 12/07/2008 11:25

tegan, did you thank this woman for the party

did you thank her for offering your dd a sleepover

or did you just sneer at her for the spray on tatoos

cornsilk · 12/07/2008 11:29

I think the op's getting a bit of a pasting here. I didn't get the sense that she was sneering at the tattoos, but that she didn't want her ds to have one as she has skin problems which is fair enough.

nailpolish · 12/07/2008 11:30

but if it was the first and only thing she said to the mother, then im sorry but no wonder the door was slammed. parties are hard work and the woman was prob frazzled by 730

i dont imagine it WAS the only thing tegan said, thats why i asked

cornsilk · 12/07/2008 11:36

I agree parties at home are an expensive nightmare and the mum was probably whacked, but I thought it was reasonable for the op to ask for her dd not to have the tattoo due to skin problems. Obviously I don't know what tone it was said in etc I'm just going from what it says in the op. Must admit I am also a bit about the discipline comments though.

OverMyDeadBody · 12/07/2008 11:36

sounds like the other mother did over-react a bit.

It's have though tegan, not of .

Cammelia · 12/07/2008 11:44

tegan I'm with you here. Frankly I wouldn't have gone back half-an hour later, I'd have taken my dd home at 7 if I had another dd to put to bed.

She sounds like a control freak

Skribble · 12/07/2008 11:45

I think it is something not to take to heart really, kids parties burn any one out.

As for having professional links and having insider knowledge or something, that is really something to keep to yourself isn't it.

kittywise · 12/07/2008 11:51

Well it seems simple. You are both very different sorts of women and mothers.
You think she is lax
She thinks you are uptight

You should NOT have mentioned the tattoo stuff, that is up to your daughter she is old enough. The woman was trying to give a good party and I can understand how your approach would have come across as particularly supercilious and sanctimonious.
Think carefully before you speak.

flack · 12/07/2008 11:54

OP's DD is old enough to take some responsibility about her own skin (if it is that sensitive).

ChickenBurger · 12/07/2008 11:55

Cristina wasn't ridiculing her spelling, she was just quoting her verbatim.

OverMyDeadBody · 12/07/2008 12:00

I thought that too chicken.

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