to think leaving a 4 year old downstairs when you have a lie in is wrong?

[Jelliebaby]

My friend has recently confessed to me that she sometimes gets up in the morning with her 4 year old son then leaves him watching a dvd and having breakfast whilst she goes back to bed for a hour.

I think this is quite wrong of her (but didn't say)and wondered what other people think?

I am suffering from severe MS at the moment and would love nothing more than having an extra lie in but the thought never really crossed my mind.

YABU. Mine are too little at the mo (2.4 oldest ds) but we certainly plan to do this when they're old enough. Won't be age dependent but when we judge that they are sensible enough to not do anythign dangerous.

Actually leave my 2.4 ds downstairs while I put ds2 down for his lunchtime nap upstairs and while I pop upstairs to get things. Our house is pretty safe and he is really good at knowing what he can and can't do. Wouldn't leave him alone while I slept yet though

I do it, but also have a very mature 6 year old who play very well with the four year old but he also keeps him in check and its only usually half an hour. I also have a telly in my room and most of the time if they get up early they sit in the end of my bed whilst I doze for a bit I think they actually prefer that.

mine have doing this for years now - they are 10 and 7 and now take their sister (14 mths) down with them for a bit. They bring her back up to me if she gets grumpy I can't remember when they started but I know we used to go down with them and get them sorted with breakfast then go back to bed for a bit. Then they gradually started doing more themselves. It's bliss

Our DD has been doing this ever since she was happy to get out of bed alone (about 3). I never thought of it being a problem - although our house is very small & we can always hear her pottering about.
We still leave her a snack by her bedside and in fact these days she mostly stays in bed reading. The real lie-in breakthrough for us came when she got the hang of letting the dog out!

Jelliebaby, I like this thread - all the YABU answers are actually good news for you, as it justifies you getting a lie in yourself

I think as long as your child is happy to watch a DVD or play with their toys alone it's fine. But if you know they will be into everything the minute you leave, then it may be too risky.

I know tigermouth, I'm actually quite envious of everyones situation.

I had never thought about doing it tbh, my DP works weekends so it's just me and DD and i am suffering with severe MS so getting up at 6.30 is not good. I would love to have another hour, just not sure if a dare......yet

take the duvet downstairs with you then, and just make sure the room is safe.

Mine are 2 and 5 - and to be honest, the 5 year old is too damn fiddly to be downstairs on his own, he gets knives into the cheese and all sorts. I don't allow the 2 year old downstairs on his own because I think he's too young, and not safe coming downstairs on his own.

But I am happy to snore on the sofa while they plonk in front of beebies. I sometimes get a couple of hours doing that. They get too hungry to let me sleep later than 9 anyway - I don't let them eat while I sleep because I'm neurotic about choking.

We have 7, 6, 3.5 year olds, and 16 months and yes weekend mornings they are welcome to get up at 5am but I AM NOT! Dh and I stay in bed till, ooh about 7am, how selfish!

I don't allow the DC's downstairs by themselves, purely because of the mess they would create, but DD has a TV in her room purely for these occasions, she rarely watches it, except when we are in bed and her and DS1 are awake.
During pregnancy and for the first few weeks of DS2's life DS1(3.8) was left in DD's room most mornings whilst I got some sleep after DD&DP had left the house.

Mine have been doing it for ages (10,8 and 4 atm) but I live in a small flat so there isn't really anything they can do that I can't hear. If DS1 makes toast the smell wakes me up

this is helicopter parenting gone completely insane.

yab totally unreasonable.

YA most definately BU.

I have done this with DS since he was about 3. Get him his breakfast, put a dvd on for him, and go back to bed.

I'm a single mum, how else would I get a lie in?

YABU

Aren't you ever in a different room when the children are awake?

In the 1970's children of this age would frequently wake early to have a quick cigarette and perhaps a drive around the village before their parents woke up (or something like that)

I did the snoozing on the back of the sofa (we have a lovely big sofa you really can go to sleep on) whilst they watched CBeebies for an hour or so when they were too small to be comfortable without a grown up around. All they did was sit there in a semi vegetative state, no input required. But still better when I could go back to bed again. We did have a flat at the time though, so they really couldn't have got into any trouble.

yabu. What's the difference between this and you being downstairs and child playing upstairs?

no, they'd be walking the 4 miles to get the bread and milk mp.

oh yes sophable that's right

they would have to nip out to buy your weekend papers and benson & hedges, then make you a pot of tea and bring it up to your room, then nip out for a swim in the river and be back for tea

this was before paedophones were invented obv

so a 4 year old is old enough to be in reception, but isn't old enough to watch telly for an hour downstairs? YABU

I think being downstairs when your child is upstairs or playing in the garden is quite different for me as i'm aware of what she is doing and i can hear if there was a problem. My only worry about going back to bed to sleep would be that i would fall into a deep sleep and be unaware if there was a problem.

lol mp

Quite often, once I've got DS breakfast, I go back upstairs for a lie in, and just leave him to it, to play on his own downstairs or in his room.

Jelliebelly, mothers have a sixth sense, you'll never be in such a deep sleep that you won't sense or hear a problem.

Anyway, DS just shouts for me or comes and wakes me if there is a problem (usually this is along the lines of not knowing how to spell something he's looking for online )

I don't do this yet, but I have not problem with people who do.
DS1 plays in his room for up to an hour before we get up we tend to move at the point he starts mentioning breakfast, it always starts with "mummyis it time for me to play with my toys or do I have to go back to bed?"

Never did it in London. My youngest is an early riser and my oldest love a lie in!

However, now we are on one level, with the sitting room really close by, my youngest have sometimes woken up and just gone into play without waking us up.

We started doing it when ds was about two and a half! , but it was in a flat so i could hear him, and the tv seemed to put him in a comatose state! hes always been very grown up anyway - dressing himself since third bday, gets his own orange juice out of the fridge.
Now he stays in his room and puts a dvd on for himself.