to expect not to be made to leave 6 year old dd in the car on her own by the police.

[islandofsodor]

Dd had to be picked up from school early on Friday so as it was the first off the drive I took dh's car which I drive once in a blue moon.

Big mistake, his numer plate was not spaced correctly so I got pulled. It was on a dual carriageway with no hard shouler and I didn't feel I could safely stop so pulled off at the next junction which led onto a supermarket car park.

I got out of the car telling dd just to wait there a minute fully expecting to be booked for the numberplate.

The policeman started to have a go at me accusing me of failing to stop of a police office. I was terrified at this point and just kept repeating calmly, I'm sorry I was just trying to find a safe place to pull up I really was. Anyway he told me to get into the back of his car.

I indicated to dd and started to say I've got my little girl in there can I just get ....but her stopped me short and said he (his colleague who had got out and was running a reg check on his radio) can see her, you get in the back so I did. Anyway he started to take me through the process, fair enough, checking my details, was it my car, was I insured etc etc. I glanced up and dd was sobbing her little heart out crying Mummy, Mummy. They asked me her name and one of them went to talk to her but she sobbed louder so he eventually opened the car doo, lifeted her out and put her in the back of the police car with me.

I managed to calm her down whilst trying to take in the details of the booking and desperately trying to keep calm so it would just be a numberplate offense rather than failing to stop.

He started to explain about the reason it was an offense and an automatic vehicle tracking thing they have for stolen vehicles, dd was listening intently and he said "if your car was stolen with your little girl in it we wouldn't be able to find it" Couldn't he have just said stolen rather than scaring dd even more.

I was shaking by the end of it all, I know they have a job to do but it just seemed so insensitive to a little girl who thought her mummy was being taken away.

Well there is no way I would drive my child (or myself!) in a car with an unlawful number plate. It's an irresponsible thing to do, and brings a greatly increased risk of being stopped by the police and therefore causing upset to the child.

Findthe river. These silly numberplates annoy me too Some of them are altered almost beyond recognition.

They are totally wanky aren't they. And as the police officer explained, the regulations are there for reasons. Being able to track and identify a vehicle is important for the safety of all of us. It's selfish and arrogant for anyone to feel they are outside the law. The whole situation was totally avoidable.

Ive had a similar situation. They were doing a spot check and pulled me in. My son was 2, shattered and wanted is bed and was screaming before I even got out the car. Anyway I stood outside the car with the door open and they wanted me to get into their car. I said no because of my son and this policewoman insisted I leave him and go across the road to get in their car. Son still screaming and bawling. After 5 minutes arguing with her she went and got a male colleage. He told her that she wasnt allowed to do that and I had to stay with my child. I would complain if I were you.

Ive had a similar situation. They were doing a spot check and pulled me in. My son was 2, shattered and wanted is bed and was screaming before I even got out the car. Anyway I stood outside the car with the door open and they wanted me to get into their car. I said no because of my son and this policewoman insisted I leave him and go across the road to get in their car. Son still screaming and bawling. After 5 minutes arguing with her she went and got a male colleage. He told her that she wasnt allowed to do that and I had to stay with my child. I would complain if I were you.

It's intersting about the stopping thing - I was once followed in thedark very closely by a car, I couldn't see the colur or anyting, andwas quite frigthened by it. the moment I iht a village, and it was safe to stop, the poice put theyir lights - it scared the life out of me. thye had followed me for 5 miles, with 1 light out on my car. They were very nice about it - but.. I sppose my point is - they didn't pul me over until it was safe to do so.

I have to say - if you knew you needed to pull over, I would have thought you had plenty of time to explain to you DD that you would probably have to get out of the car and talk to the policeman. That, or you sit quietly in the car until they come over to you, which would have allowed you to get DD out a you went. getting out of your car and apporching them could have seem quite aggressive, even if you didn't mean it to.

swc - i agree
stopping in the slow lane of the dual carriageway is madness IMO - I assumed also you could stop at the next safe spot.

agree with wannabe. the comment about how women don't abduct children is just astonishing.

as sidge states, people shoplift by placing items in their childs buggies as well as carry drugs/knives, get involved in fights etc. i work for my local nick so i have seen first hand what criminals do whilst in the company of children, fathers and mothers.

hope op gets her hubby to change the number plate so no future hassle!

This is mad. Why on earth would any remotely sane or sensible person assume that any woman with a kid in the car in her car seat had abducted her? It's a completely bonkers thing to assume! The OP wasn't speeding or driving erratically or dangerously, she just has a slightly misspaced number plate. I see them on the road every single day. I don't assume they are all driven by paedophiles or child-snatches

I think they police were just loving having a bit of power over a lone woman, frankly. And quite enjoyed her distress about being forced to leave her crying daughter.
I think pulling over on a dual carriageway with no hard shoulder is dangerous. I would never leave my child in a car in the middle of a busy road.

IIRC, where Islands is talking about, there is a grass verge that can be pulled on to, the car would not have been in the middle of the road. Generally speaking, the police don't usually expect you to pull over where it's unsafe - they'll pull up behind you, and they're hardly likely to put themselves in danger.

Pulling off at the sliproad to the supermarket was understandable I think, but DH would have expected you to have pulled over on the sliproad, rather than going as far as the carpark.

Leaving a child in the car is not that unusual in these circumstances. Lots of adults pulled over don't particulary want to be interviewed in front of their child.

We don't know how the OP was driving tbh, or whether or not the officers were power-crazed.

Have you spoken to DH, Islands?

Will he be getting the numberplate sorted?

"This is mad. Why on earth would any remotely sane or sensible person assume that any woman with a kid in the car in her car seat had abducted her? It's
a completely bonkers thing to assume! The OP wasn't speeding or driving erratically or dangerously, she just has a slightly misspaced number plate. I see
them on the road every single day. I don't assume they are all driven by paedophiles or child-snatches
hmm".

It's not the dodgy number plate that would lead me to be concerned about the child, it's the fact she failed to stop when the police indicated she stop.

dodgy number plate would most likely imdicate tosser with an ego. Failing to stop would most likely indicate something to hide.

At the point police suspect driver has something to hide (indicated by failure to stop) the child is perceived to be at risk surely. Even if it's only because the child is thought to be with a criminal who is avoiding the police.

it's a horrible thing to have happened
the policeman was insensitive and sounds like a tosser

i feel sorry for your dd

BUT why drive a car with a numberplate you knew was not legal? you said as you were pulled up you expected it to be concerning the numberplate SO the police were in the right to stop you and you were in the WRONG.

still i'd definately make a complaint about the police officer.